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Author Topic: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 25: The Mustachioed Plumber  (Read 21760 times)

HmH

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 17: Fools
« Reply #165 on: March 05, 2011, 07:39:27 am »

If we can climb out of the pit: apologize, go back to the hallway, open the red door.

If the pit is too deep to get out: ask her to borrow my "-1" ring, then stomp again.

Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 17: Fools
« Reply #166 on: March 05, 2011, 04:25:21 pm »

Turn 18: Pig King

Heh no problem

Have a brief moment of mourning for my sunglasses before parting the walls with the power of the pole god.
Think mosus parting the ocean but perhaps with a pole of epic proportions.

6) you start crying for your glasses, but then you remember that you have a job to do. you look at the wall and put out your bent right arm, flexxing it menacingly. you call upon the power of the pole god to come to your aid. you suddenly thrust your hand up and BOOM!!! a giant pole pillar erupts from the ground, throwing dust and stone everywhere. when the dust clears the wall is pierced with a large metal pole in the middle of two large gaps.

you are about to walk through when chians suddenly shoot out from behind you and block the exit. you turn around to find the chain prophet once again. this time it's real though.

____________________________
|FLINT  /         /                               |
|    --- /   vs.  /  ---                           |
|___ /_____/__The Chain Prophet|

(I can imagine this scene in my head right now and it looks awesome)

Grunt hard (HRNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH) and DEMAND the plastic bottle fills with ice cold water.

6) you begin grunting, willing DEMANDING that it suddenly be filled with ice cold water even though it's against the laws of physics. seeing that it's not working, you begin grunting harder and harder, staring at the bottle you don't notice the herd of pigs that suddenly come running over the dunes toward you, attracted by the grunting. by the time you do notice, they have you surrounded. you leap up, ready to fight in your dizzied, dehydrated state. they charge at you and easily knock you over onto one of the other pig's backs they begin carrying you off into the desert.

after some time they go into a cave that is lit by gloing mushrooms and the awesomeness of the pigs themselves. you immediately jump into a puddle of water and drink it all up. when you look up the pigs have put a crown on your head made of bone. looks like you are the new leader of the desert pigs. you look out over you new domain. inside of a large cavern is a large pool with many pigs chilling about  in a corner is a whole bunch of haystacks for sleeping on.

Convince the vents I'm not there by lying to them as I squeeze out of them.

1) You try talking but the vents are squeazing you so hard now that you can't. you know that if you don't get out soon YOU'LL DIE!

Walk outside the prsion, smashing any guards with a chessboard.

4) running back to the gaurd room to retrieve that chessboard, you begin making your way outside, jumping down floor after floor until you reach the bottom. since the GM is lazy, you meet no such guards. outside you see a very epic scene of Flint and the Chain Prophet standing off.

If we can climb out of the pit: apologize, go back to the hallway, open the red door.

If the pit is too deep to get out: ask her to borrow my "-1" ring, then stomp again.

2) your leg is really bothering you. Nai tells you to be still and you try to obey her, but she makes it hard when she's jabbing your broken leg like that.

"Your leg is beyond my skills." Nai says grimly. "But I could try... It' might not heal correctly though... do you want me to do it?"

Players
HmH, a Doctor's Worst Nightmare, sweatheart to girls in green
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Adventure Party= Nai
Location: Lab

Flint, Prophet of the Pole God, Enemy of the Chain God, Soldier of Gaucamole (Flintus10)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: Outside the prison

Sam the Boom man (maxicaxi)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: Prison hallway

JacenHanLovesLegos, Defender of Chess
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: outside the prison

Quip Silvertongue
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: vents

Krath the Pig King
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: pig cave

NPC's
Nai
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Powers (click to show/hide)
Location: lab. Relations: HmH

Locations
Spoiler: Prison (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Lab (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: desert (click to show/hide)
Logged
What do you think? Yes? No?

Flintus10

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #167 on: March 05, 2011, 06:17:05 pm »

Ensure there is badass fight music in the backround before summoning two poles out of the ground and rushing the chain prophet.
Logged

JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #168 on: March 05, 2011, 07:32:38 pm »

Throw the chessboard at the chain prophet's head for an anticlimatic ending.
Logged
As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.

Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #169 on: March 05, 2011, 11:02:43 pm »

we're coming up on turn twenty soon and I guess I want to make sure that I am doing a good job with this. turn twenty is usually a milestone for an RTD since a lot of them die before they reach it.
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HmH

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #170 on: March 05, 2011, 11:09:10 pm »

Give Nai my "+1" ring and agree.

Krath

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #171 on: March 06, 2011, 01:55:53 am »

Order my pig minions to go and conquer, and to bring back the bones of the fallen so I can make a mighty scepter.
Logged
Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

quip

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #172 on: March 06, 2011, 03:21:37 am »

Get out get out! Also, don't roll a 3rd 1
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Hell hath no fury like an angry vampire pimp.

Terrahex

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 18: The Pig King
« Reply #173 on: March 08, 2011, 05:49:10 pm »

Turn 19: One Thing After Another

Ensure there is badass fight music in the backround before summoning two poles out of the ground and rushing the chain prophet.

5) fight music begins to play as you and the chain prophet stare each other down. as the intro ebbs and flows, you begin to circle each other, daring the him to make a move, until suddenly the song goes into overdrive and the real epic part begins. you suddenly bolt at him and he does the same. you clap your hands together awkwardly and poles jump out of the ground and into your hands, each with a pointy end. you hold them towards him while he whips a chain towards you. 6) you block the chain, jumping up into the air and thrusting one of your poles at him, 5) catching his head. 1) he reals in pain as your pole pierces his eye and... EEEEWWWEE!! he's not going to be getting up from that anytime soon.

and once again the dice roll so that another potentially epic battle is ruined...

Throw the chessboard at the chain prophet's head for an anticlimatic ending.

2) well the chain prophet is dead now so you decide to throw it at Flint instead. you toss it at him, hitting him in the chest 2) knocking the wind out of him and causing him to release his grip on the pointy metal poles. 6) luckily, he isn't impaled on them, but they fall insuch a way that when he lands on one of them, the other is launched towards you instead! 2) it pierces your stomach and runs you right through.

(... okay... let me explain the rolls here. the first 2 was unlucky for you and flint, meaning you didn't initially want to throw it at your ally but it happened anyway. the next roll was a 2, for Flint's defense roll, then the 6 was for weather he would get impaled, but they got launched instead... what the hell happened?)

Give Nai my "+1" ring and agree.

6) your rings still won't come off, but you do agree that you are a fool.

Nai decides that she's going to heal you, since you obviously are not in the right of mind. 1) she put her hands on your leg, making you cringe. her hands begin to glow, but suddenly your leg doesn't feel so hot. you hear Nai gasp and when you look you see that your leg has been cut off.

great. just great.

Nai's expression is horrified and she seems frozen, shocked at the blood flowing from your wound.

Order my pig minions to go and conquer, and to bring back the bones of the fallen so I can make a mighty scepter.

3) you want to send your pigs off to go and conquer, but you don't know where they should go. you tell them to prepare for battle. 3) they're pigs. They're always ready for battle

Get out get out! Also, don't roll a 3rd 1

6) the vents suddenly burst open and you are dumped out of them into a small hallway with three doors and a blown off door in it.

Players
HmH, a Doctor's Worst Nightmare
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Adventure Party= Nai
Location: Lab

Flint, Prophet of the Pole God, Enemy of the Chain God, Soldier of Gaucamole (Flintus10)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: Outside the prison

Sam the Boom man (maxicaxi)
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: Prison hallway

JacenHanLovesLegos, Defender of Chess
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: outside the prison

Quip Silvertongue
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: lab hallway

Krath the Pig King
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Inventory (click to show/hide)
Location: pig cave

NPC's
Nai
Spoiler: Status (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: inventory (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Powers (click to show/hide)
Location: lab. Relations: HmH

Locations
Spoiler: Prison (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Lab (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: desert (click to show/hide)
Logged
What do you think? Yes? No?

JacenHanLovesLegos

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #174 on: March 08, 2011, 05:57:53 pm »

Go back in time and throw myself to the ground so the pole doesn't hit me Don't die.
Nooooo! Awesome skin only prevents lazers!
Logged
As it turns out, the pen was in fact a poor choice for melee combat in comparison to the sword.
So I just started playing this game and I accidentally nuked the moon.

Flintus10

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #175 on: March 08, 2011, 06:24:36 pm »

Stand with my hands on my hips and one foot on the slain prophet and raise a pole into the air victoriously. Then get out of here.
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HmH

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #176 on: March 09, 2011, 01:03:57 am »

Use my amazing powers of unexpected survival to grow a new leg, its bones reinforced with titanium.

Krath

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #177 on: March 09, 2011, 08:54:23 am »

Order my minions to create a magical portal to the nearest town, then send them through to pillage.
Logged
Jizzar sounds some kinda celestial object made of jizz~
Like a quasar or something~

maxicaxi

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #178 on: March 09, 2011, 08:58:17 am »

EXPLODE, AGAIN
Logged
I have absolutely no idea what's going on in this fort any more. Migrants arrive, they die for some reason, the fort is flooded for another reason, then dwarves go mad, more dwarves die and I'm just laughing in my distress.
you cannot defeat the potato.

quip

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Re: Roll to Dodge the EXTREME!!!! Turn 19: One Thing After Another
« Reply #179 on: March 09, 2011, 11:25:10 am »

Do an EXTREME pose before striding through the blown off door shouting at any guards who try to stop me where an office I can type a report is.
I was worried there for a second. I thought that I would end up rolling another 1...
Oh and die, thats generally not a good thing.
Logged
Hell hath no fury like an angry vampire pimp.
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