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[Krath]

You and your Army of Darkness(tm) are standing outside the walls of the enemy forces.

It is raining. The ground is muddy. It is getting rather dark.

The castle walls seem to be made of solid stone. Several soldiers seem to be stationed on top, awaiting for the battle with your forces to begin.

A field commander marches up and asks for orders.

>_

INVENTORY
Dread Mace of Pain Inducing +5
Black Armor of the Dark Lord
Black Spiked Helmet

Forces
5 Platoons of Swordsmen
5 Platoons of Spearmen
10 Platoons of Archers
3 Catapults

[Hastur]

Catapult some diseased corpses and flaming severed heads over the walls! ARchers fire flaming arrows! Other men at the ready, and defile the water supply while they are at it! Use civilians as human shields

[Fanofgaming]

Attack with your catapults from as far away as possible. We'll destroy their walls before we let them kill any of our men, damnit!

[Ricky]

< get your platoons of swordmesn and spearmen to build a makeshift wall of mud that will eventually dry into a defensive fortification

<move the three catapults behind the makings of the fortified wall.

< prepare you archers for the morning by making them wrap all their arrows in cloth and dipping them in pitch

[Krath]

>Your men prepare a daring catapult attack, loading such EVIL things like corpses and rotten body parts your enemies are sure to flee in terror.

The catapults fire, launching stone into the walls and bodies into the parapets. The men stationed on top of the walls are now running around in terror while sections of the wall crumble to pieces. The attack is a success!

During this, your men have constructed a makeshift mud wall across your front. You quickly move your troops behind it in case of enemy counterattack.

>_

INVENTORY
Dread Mace of Pain Inducing +5
Black Armor of the Dark Lord
Black Spiked Helmet

Forces
5 Platoons of Swordsmen
5 Platoons of Spearmen
10 Platoons of Archers
3 Catapults

[Aklyon]

Interesting.

[Ricky]

< load the catapults with stones and boulders and maim the walls even more!

< preapre your archers to fire! but tell them to hold!

<make your lazy spearmen and sowrdsmen to improve the mud-wall!

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Prepare your spearmen into Macedonian Phalanxes. Station them in a line behind the mud wall. Swordsmen stay behind them, and archers nehind them to provide cover fire.

[Argembarger]

> Find a particularly lazy soldier, bash his head in with Dread Mace of Pain Inducing +5 to set an example of the levels of activity and awareness we expect from our army.

[Krath]

>Your scouts bring back word of an enemy counteroffensive. Your catapults continue to assault the walls with assorted large rocks and various dead bodies.

With your men safely behind the makeshift wall and relatively safe under the cover of catapult fire, you feel safe enough to reinforce the wall, not doing the work yourself of course. An evil overlord can't get his evil gauntlets dirty.

The wall reinforced and your catapults out of usable ammo, you order your soldiers into formation. They're incredibly slow to do so. You quickly spur your men into action by casually whacking the nearest wordsman with your Mace of Pain Inducing. The resulting gore makes your men get ready in record time, with the added bonus of covering your beloved weapon in a fresh coating of blood and guts. Spearmen taking the front in a phalanx formation, and archers with their bows ready.

Sure enough, you spot the enemy forces approaching on...warhorses! This might be a problem. From a cursory glance, you suspect they might be slightly greater in number than your own forces.

>_

INVENTORY
Dread Mace of Pain Inducing +5 (Covered in gore)
Black Armor of the Dark Lord
Black Spiked Helmet

Forces
5 Platoons of Swordsmen (Minus one soldier)
5 Platoons of Spearmen (Phalanx Formation)
10 Platoons of Archers
3 Catapults (Out of ammo)

[Argembarger]

SPEARS > HORSEMEN BECAUSE AGE OF EMPIRES STRATEGY

> Line up your spearmen to face the oncoming horsemen. oh wait we already did that. Just make sure the phalanx always faces the horses.

Ooh, set some caltrops/spikes down ahead of our lines as well.

[Iituem]

The wall reinforced and your catapults out of usable ammo, you order your soldiers into formation. They're incredibly slow to do so. You quickly spur your men into action by casually whacking the nearest wordsman with your Mace of Pain Inducing. The resulting gore makes your men get ready in record time, with the added bonus of covering your beloved weapon in a fresh coating of blood and guts. Spearmen taking the front in a phalanx formation, and archers with their bows ready.

Wordsmen: Drop phat beats to reduce enemy morale in support of your more conventional allies.

[Krath]

>Your spearmen quickly get into position against the charging warhorses. Ordering your men to throw out last-minute traps, you are dismayed to find out your army has no metal caltrops or bear traps or anything of the sort.

You casually smash the head of the nearest swordsman in your wrath.

Nothing left to do but wait, the first of the horsemen crash against your line, his horse impaled by the steel spears of your men. Arrows rain from the skies, killing horsemen left and right. This continues for a while before it becomes apparent your earlier estimation of their forces was wrong.

Your spearmen are quickly overrun by sheer numbers, forcing your swordsmen to engage to protect the archers. Entering the fray yourself, and aided by your eight-foot tall body, you begin crushing men left and right. You smash one charging horseman across the faceplate, knocking him off his horse onto the ground where he moves no more. You lean down and pick up his lance as a makeshift throwing weapon for later use.

Chaos is all around you.

INVENTORY
Dread Mace of Pain Inducing +5 (Covered in alot of gore)
Riding Lance
Black Armor of the Dark Lord
Black Spiked Helmet

Forces
5 Platoons of Swordsmen (Some losses)
2 Platoons of Spearmen (Heavy losses)
10 Platoons of Archers
3 Catapults (Out of ammo)

Enemy Forces
Lots and lots of horsemen armed with lances.

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Smah every horsmen. Order a charge on the castle once done.

[Argembarger]

> Rally your troops with a mighty warcry! Terrorize these puny horsemen, who dare stand against our might! Kill them all!