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Author Topic: Monstrous nobility?  (Read 1078 times)

Kamamura

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Monstrous nobility?
« on: November 15, 2010, 10:36:23 am »
I marched into a fortress and went straight to the main keep to discuss quest, and I met there... a lizard fiend law-giver.

Tusnom Ukatusnom
(hey, the name rhymes!)
A huge one-eyed lizard twisted into humanoid form. It belches and croaks. Beware its noxious secretions!
It is skinny.

How the hell it got into a seat of power in a human fortress? I bet it was not by a due democratic elections, that's for sure! Well, at least he's not fat.
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Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

Kamamura

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #1 on: November 15, 2010, 11:01:50 am »
I did a background check in the Legends:

In summer 12, Tusnom fooled Luxurious Kingdoms into believing it was a manifestation of the deity Nithros.
In midwinter 12, Tusnom became a lawgiver the Luxurious Kingdoms
In early summer 21, Tusnom created the position of a war leader through the force of argument. (I guess one or two noxious belches can be quite irrefutable, and the subsequent unanimous decision can be expected).
In 26, Tusnom created a position of a lord as a matter of course (No one wanted to argue with him anymore)

.... and he continued to spam lord positions (5-9 a year)... for 1000 years. Amazing career. I found him surrounded by a general and a war leader.

Talk about European Union sprawling beaurocracy ;-)
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Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

Kamamura

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #2 on: November 15, 2010, 11:17:34 am »
Anyway, Luxurious Kingdoms have an interesting history. Their first ever lawgiver got his post by "threat of violence" (and it was some puny human), three years before Tusnom.

Luxurious Kingdoms seem to be well organized - Fellowship of Rocks started building a huge highway called The Way of Blunting, and what League of Drinks and Climatic Council did is quite obvious. The whole history is divided into short, intense conflicts with some group called The Small Incest of Excavated Terror, and long periods of peace when Tusnom expanded his noble henchmen. I thing was in love with genealogy trees.

Maybe it's a manifestation of the European Union in a parallel universe after all...
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Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

Eagle_eye

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #3 on: November 15, 2010, 11:37:22 am »
that reminds me of rome more than the EU...
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Kamamura

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #4 on: November 15, 2010, 12:30:08 pm »
Anyway, I looked up Nithros and it's a deity depicted as human female. How did that lizard fiend manage to convince anyone he is her manifestation is beyond me.
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Quote from: cephalo on January 22, 2012, 08:13:37 pm
The entire content consists of senseless murder, a pile of faceless naked women and zero regard for human life in general, all in the service of the protagonist's base impulses. It is clearly a cry for help from a neglected, self absorbed and disempowered juvenile badly in need of affectionate guidance. What a sad, sad display.

NewSheoth

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #5 on: November 15, 2010, 12:32:49 pm »
Daemonocratic elections indeed.

And well... dumb humans... cunning demonic probably magical forgotten beast... you do the math.
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Quote from: CinnibarMan on October 31, 2010, 07:22:30 pm
" It... it's finally over. Oh Armok it was like the end of days in some kind of gristly death bathtub of untold horror and wow that is a nice waterfall."
Quote from: TherosPherae on November 06, 2010, 02:02:29 pm
Embarked on a haunted volcano. I am currently terrorized by skeletal alligators.

toupz

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #6 on: November 15, 2010, 12:56:45 pm »
You should make an assassin char and kill that deity lol
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Bronimin

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #7 on: November 15, 2010, 01:08:15 pm »
-
« Last Edit: June 07, 2018, 04:35:38 pm by Bronimin »
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Rumrusher

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #8 on: November 16, 2010, 11:14:37 am »
Quote from: Kamamura on November 15, 2010, 12:30:08 pm
Anyway, I looked up Nithros and it's a deity depicted as human female. How did that lizard fiend manage to convince anyone he is her manifestation is beyond me.
so it's a lizard being in drag.
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Quote from: Acanthus117 on March 14, 2010, 08:01:50 pm
I thought I would I had never hear my daughter's escapades from some boy...
DAMN YOU RUMRUSHER!!!!!!!!
"body swapping and YOU!"
Adventure in baby making!Adv Homes

nordak

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Re: Monstrous nobility?
« Reply #9 on: November 16, 2010, 11:36:29 am »
Only dwarves are smart enough to tell that that is a Forgotten beast and it will eat you..... *RUN* then go back *RUN*
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Exerpt from townbrush.txt by Internet Kraken:

"Nobody wants to live in Townbrush, and for good reason. Almost everyone that has come to Townbrush has been eaten, stabbed, crushed, drowned, hacked, incinerated, or beaten to death with an octopre skin backpack. When we're not under siege, we're being attacked by Forgotten Beasts. And when we're not being attacked by Forgotten Beasts, there's probably a zombie whale crushing someone to death in the dining room."