Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Caz]

One's desires are, to a degree, a product of the outside world influencing you rather than internal conclusions. I find that the latter generally turns out far better than the former, and thus I advocate it.

EDIT: Scratch that, I'm confusing myself. What I mean is that one's infatuation can be supressed and destroyed, and being a short-term emotional response that can have bad consequences if not delt with well, that option is the preferable response.

then why live?

[eerr]

Do you really need to know how she feels? I don't think you do. She could very well flip out on you for even asking, you know. It isn't worth bothering with. You have the power to not be concerned about this, you only need to learn how to exercise it.

Good god man, could you have though of a more horrible thing to do?

SOMEONE

Did not think through their comments.

[Vector]

MetalSlimeHunt, he didn't ask if he should tell her or not.  He asked how to tell her.

He's already made his choice.  Let him make it and suffer or enjoy the consequences as he will.


@OP: You made the right choice about not doing it on the bus, where other people could hear it and she might feel some sort of external social pressure.  Just ask her out some time when you're in a quiet place and you don't know of anything that could be putting other emotional pressure on her (don't ask her out right before or after an exam, for example).  Other than that... just go for it.  All you can do is try.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

MetalSlimeHunt, he didn't ask if he should tell her or not.  He asked how to tell her.
He's already made his choice.  Let him make it and suffer or enjoy the consequences as he will.

Very well.

I would say that you shouldn't be concerned with waiting for a "right moment", other than when she isn't frustrated or otherwise disrupted. Then, just tell what you need to tell her. There isn't much more to it.

[uber pye]

if there is athing i have learned from my small amouts of romance in my life is that you should not delay asking her
or elce someone will get her before you

but still look for a good time to do it (for example after you have had fun together)

edit: darn you typos

[Kaiser Reinhard]

if there is athing i have learned from my small amouts of romance in my life is that you should delay asking her
or elce someone will get her before you

but still look for a good time to do it (for example after you have had fun together)

Uh.. you mean "should not delay", right?

Also, yeah, I id want to just talk to her about it while we were having lunch, but just after we both finished our meal she asked if I wanted to leave. Took that to mean she didn't feel like staying.

[hemmingjay]

Kaiser, the good and bad.........I am marrying my childhood sweetheart after 16 years on and off. I believe that she could be the one potentially but be prepared for the inevitable heartache when you leave highschool. Everyone needs to spread their wings and see what other people feel like close. Good luck

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Kaiser, the good and bad.........I am marrying my childhood sweetheart after 16 years on and off. I believe that she could be the one potentially but be prepared for the inevitable heartache when you leave highschool. Everyone needs to spread their wings and see what other people feel like close. Good luck

We were only in the same Primary school, for 6 years, from there we lost contact until about 2 years later, but then we didn't contact each other very much until last year, from then we've been going out together more and more often.


This is probably just the hormones talking, but she is the only girl that I know of that I would seriously consider dating. I won't go off on why I like her so much unless someone asks though.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

So, yeah, should I just ask her out for a meal, then while talking after finishing the food just tell her straight out how I feel?

How should I even say it?

[Sergius]

Or it could be a movie and then a walk. Or some other non-eating activity and a walk, doesn't HAVE to be food. I think having the walk afterwards gives you neutral time after the fun to get the chat. Maybe hang around at some nice look-point for an hour or so.

I'm not Mr. Smooth, but you could ask her something like "hm, have you ever thought about us being something more than just friends?". Worst case scenario, if she isn't interested in you that way, she'll probably say something like she values your friendship and doesn't want to ruin it, or something cliched like that, which at least implies she doesn't want to stop being your friend just because you asked.

In which case you ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits just forget the whole thing happened and rest easy knowing that you're just friends and then you can look for another girl to woo while still hanging out with this one.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Or it could be a movie and then a walk. Or some other non-eating activity and a walk, doesn't HAVE to be food. I think having the walk afterwards gives you neutral time after the fun to get the chat. Maybe hang around at some nice look-point for an hour or so.

I'm not Mr. Smooth, but you could ask her something like "hm, have you ever thought about us being something more than just friends?". Worst case scenario, if she isn't interested in you that way, she'll probably say something like she values your friendship and doesn't want to ruin it, or something cliched like that, which at least implies she doesn't want to stop being your friend just because you asked.

In which case you ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits just forget the whole thing happened and rest easy knowing that you're just friends and then you can look for another girl to woo while still hanging out with this one.

Not many nice places here to take a walk, unfortunately. All I can think of is the congested city area of not inside a building. I live in a pretty tiny country.

[Sergius]

Or it could be a movie and then a walk. Or some other non-eating activity and a walk, doesn't HAVE to be food. I think having the walk afterwards gives you neutral time after the fun to get the chat. Maybe hang around at some nice look-point for an hour or so.

I'm not Mr. Smooth, but you could ask her something like "hm, have you ever thought about us being something more than just friends?". Worst case scenario, if she isn't interested in you that way, she'll probably say something like she values your friendship and doesn't want to ruin it, or something cliched like that, which at least implies she doesn't want to stop being your friend just because you asked.

In which case you ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits just forget the whole thing happened and rest easy knowing that you're just friends and then you can look for another girl to woo while still hanging out with this one.

Not many nice places here to take a walk, unfortunately. All I can think of is the congested city area of not inside a building. I live in a pretty tiny country.

No parks? A plaza maybe? Even congested cities usually have a boulevard or two with benches... Just someplace semi-quiet where you aren't interrupting anything you both are doing, such as eating, and where you don't have a dedicated audience (passersby are ok).

Also, I'm just guessing here, but when you ask her, don't say something like "we've been hanging around a lot lately and I've been thinking..." or something that implies that hanging out with her means you need to date. If she doesn't want to date, she might think she needs to cut down on the hanging out. Unlikely, but it's a stray thought I had.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Or it could be a movie and then a walk. Or some other non-eating activity and a walk, doesn't HAVE to be food. I think having the walk afterwards gives you neutral time after the fun to get the chat. Maybe hang around at some nice look-point for an hour or so.

I'm not Mr. Smooth, but you could ask her something like "hm, have you ever thought about us being something more than just friends?". Worst case scenario, if she isn't interested in you that way, she'll probably say something like she values your friendship and doesn't want to ruin it, or something cliched like that, which at least implies she doesn't want to stop being your friend just because you asked.

In which case you ask her if she wants to be friends with benefits just forget the whole thing happened and rest easy knowing that you're just friends and then you can look for another girl to woo while still hanging out with this one.

Not many nice places here to take a walk, unfortunately. All I can think of is the congested city area of not inside a building. I live in a pretty tiny country.

No parks? A plaza maybe? Even congested cities usually have a boulevard or two with benches... Just someplace semi-quiet where you aren't interrupting anything you both are doing, such as eating, and where you don't have a dedicated audience (passersby are ok).

Also, I'm just guessing here, but when you ask her, don't say something like "we've been hanging around a lot lately and I've been thinking..." or something that implies that hanging out with her means you need to date. If she doesn't want to date, she might think she needs to cut down on the hanging out. Unlikely, but it's a stray thought I had.

Yeah, that's the thing. Even if I didn't feel this way towards her I'd enjoy her company just as a friend immensely, being old friends and all. I really don't want her to think not agreeing to be in a relationship with me means we have to cut our friendship out.

I guess I could always ask her if she wants to just walk around the city one day, though she's quite the shut in, so getting her to go out might be difficult.

[Sergius]

Then do it while hanging out at either one of your places? Just keep it casual.

[Vector]

Her place, if you can manage.  It's better to do it on her territory.