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Author Topic: Crushing on childhood friend.  (Read 13639 times)

KaguroDraven

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #45 on: December 22, 2010, 05:05:14 pm »

What, when you guys say you felt the earth move, you're being metaphorical? Pffffttttt.
Funny story, when I told my last long-term girlfriend I loved her a minor earthquake hit where I live, twas very amuseing.




Nah just kidding. Would be awesome though, to say the least.
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Tylui

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #46 on: December 22, 2010, 05:16:04 pm »

where their octave drops a few notches
An octave is eight half-steps.

Isn't it 12?

EDIT:
Oops, I meant to preview; not post.

Anyway, my view on love is that there are many sides to it all. I think the bible actually has this same idea, but my idea is different.

1) "Spiritual" love. I wouldn't necessarily say that it's reserved for religious endeavors, but could be filled by love of nature, love of existence, love of oneself, etc. This one seems to(For me, anyhow) to come and go randomly, and there isn't tons I can do to affect it.
2) Brotherly love. This one is from friends/family and is a genderless love that can be shared amongst anyone and, at times, everyone. For myself, I have lots of close friends, a loving family, etc.
3) Lust. I wouldn't even call this a love. It's just a desire to get off, basically.
4) Romantic/Emotional love. The feeling you get when you look at or think of someone and your heart tries to leap out your throat.

All these types are closely linked, and often ebb and flow with one another. Lust, for example, can lead to Romantic love, even when it's unintentional, and it's established that what's going on between the two of you is just for fun. The other partner then doesn't feel the same and your unrequited Romantic feelings will lead to a loss in the "Spiritual" portion of it all, with a depleted self-esteem etc. With such a low view of myself, I wander in the torrential rain fall to the school across the street from my house and have a mental fucking breakdown and a near midlife crisis at 22 years old until I end up crying because I realize I won't be able to really learn the stories of every human being and how could i anyway i have such a terrible fucking memory that its a shame i call myself a human being its almost like im dead or like im just living someone elses life in spurts maybe remembering the days they think of the most before they died maybe i just live some crazy dream inhabiting everyone elses dreak fuck my liiiiiiife oh suddenly everything is better, all righty then time for bed.

EDIT EDIT:

God, I love the rain.

EDIT EDIT EDIT:

OP, just ask her out. Even if she does reject you(which reeeeally doesn't sound likely), you'll always be satisfied knowing you tried. It might hurt, but you'll never have regrets for NOT trying something.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2010, 05:32:50 pm by Tylui »
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Heron TSG

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #47 on: December 22, 2010, 07:43:28 pm »

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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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Vector

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #48 on: December 22, 2010, 11:06:00 pm »

An octave is 12 half-steps.

WWH, WWWH. <- sorry, only remember the major scale format.

5(2)+ 2 = 12.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #49 on: December 22, 2010, 11:39:11 pm »

Erm... it seems that we're both right. Octaves are 12 half steps, they multiply the pitch by 2 or 1/2, and a major scale has 8 notes. Technically, you are more right because I confused the number of semitones in an octave and in a scale. I never liked music theory anyway.  :P
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welkyn

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #50 on: December 24, 2010, 02:19:44 pm »

Staying off topic: it's 8 diatonic degrees, not 8 tonal steps.

On topic: just say something.  I believe I may have recently made the mistake of not saying anything for far too long, and by that point, it was just as difficult as ever, and I got nothing as a result.  A friend of mine is in exactly the same situation as I was, and is even more nervous about it than I was.  The girl he's been after for three months doesn't know whether he's interested or not because he doesn't do/say anything to that effect.  It's always best to be open and honest about these things.
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Kaiser Reinhard

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #51 on: March 12, 2011, 02:43:42 pm »

Just thought I'd bump the thread with an update.

I've been pretty much thinking it over all this time, and I've already decided that I'm never going to be satisfied until I know if she likes me too or not. I wanted to tell her in person, but I don't get too see her often since I'm busy with school.

So today, we both decide to visit our old school in the morning due to it having a carnival going on, and we go about and have fun visiting our old teachers and looking at all the changes over the 10 years since we first went there. After that we went for lunch as planned, then I went around the shopping mall looking for some stuff, though after 3 or so hours of just looking around the shops with her neither of us bought anything. I also ended up joining her for dinner when she mentioned she would be eating somewhere near our houses. Then we took the same bus back home.

Now, I probably could have found some good opportunity to just outright confess sometime, but I just kept putting it off. It wasn't until we were waiting for the bus to go home when I started to speak, and then of all things I lost my nerve and changed the sentence into something else. It might have been a good idea seeing as it wasn't exactly a fitting environment for something like this, and if I had to save the situation I only had until she got off the bus.

I've already decided to let her know, I just don't really know how anymore. Is it really best to be just upfront? I'm fine with whatever she thinks, at least I can stop worrying about it. Still, even knowing this I lost my nerve at the last moment. If I do anything I'd much rather it be in person, but would something over the internet be fine, considering she's mainly a shut-in who uses the internet to communicate with her friends?

And really, what should I say?
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #52 on: March 12, 2011, 02:50:23 pm »

Do you really need to know how she feels? I don't think you do. She could very well flip out on you for even asking, you know. It isn't worth bothering with. You have the power to not be concerned about this, you only need to learn how to exercise it.
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DJ

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #53 on: March 12, 2011, 03:04:10 pm »

On the other hand, a life spent in fear of what might be isn't much of a life. Yeah, sometimes you'll end up hurting yourself, but sometimes you'll get great things. So really, it's a question of how adventurous you are.
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Cthulhu

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #54 on: March 12, 2011, 03:11:34 pm »

Do you really need to know how she feels? I don't think you do. She could very well flip out on you for even asking, you know. It isn't worth bothering with. You have the power to not be concerned about this, you only need to learn how to exercise it.

I like how you end your "You should just give up" post with a message of empowerment.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #55 on: March 12, 2011, 03:22:00 pm »

Do you really need to know how she feels? I don't think you do. She could very well flip out on you for even asking, you know. It isn't worth bothering with. You have the power to not be concerned about this, you only need to learn how to exercise it.

I like how you end your "You should just give up" post with a message of empowerment.
Not allowing outside influences emotions to control your thoughts and actions is an empowering thing. I wouldn't call it "giving up", myself. I was in a situation simmilar to the OP's, once, and I am simply using that situation as a base for my advice to him.

EDIT: Repared my reasoning.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2011, 03:35:47 pm by MetalSlimeHunt »
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DJ

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #56 on: March 12, 2011, 03:23:39 pm »

How are own desires "outside influences"?
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #57 on: March 12, 2011, 03:29:05 pm »

One's desires are, to a degree, a product of the outside world influencing you rather than internal conclusions. I find that the latter generally turns out far better than the former, and thus I advocate it.

EDIT: Scratch that, I'm confusing myself. What I mean is that one's infatuation can be supressed and destroyed, and being a short-term emotional response that can have bad consequences if not delt with well, that option is the preferable response.
« Last Edit: March 12, 2011, 03:41:24 pm by MetalSlimeHunt »
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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DJ

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #58 on: March 12, 2011, 03:40:59 pm »

Suppressing your desires can't be healthy. It'll come back and bite you in the ass somewhere down the line. In this particular case, it could lead to a wide range of emotional complexes which could impair ability to form a healthy relationship.
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Caz

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Re: Crushing on childhood friend.
« Reply #59 on: March 12, 2011, 05:23:19 pm »

@OP: Heh. I actually did just that 2 years ago. Friends with her for... pfffff 8 years? Sounds right. One night away at college, I had a very real option to ask out this cute girl - who was sitting on my lap the day before  :o  - and, for the first time in my life, get laid.  I spent the night freaking the fuck out, because I've always felt that if you're not in it for the long haul, then what's the point, and I knew that girl was just a little bit too crazy (not good crazy; wont-go-to-a-doctor crazy) for me. 
And I started thinking about the other girl, my friend, with whom I loved to just hang around and talk... and I knew she was single (due to douche ex cheating on her, not that anyone was surprised by that :| ), and, the more I thought about her, the more I realized... I'd been in love with her since we'd met. At 12. I was just young and stupid, and VERY unconfident with myself (always been the weird one, always been overweight, never really happy with my body), and, to my shame, couldn't see past the image of beauty that the world'd force-fed me - specifically b/c she has MS, and the lazy eye and crutches always made me awkward (gotten over that now). But, well, I figured I didn't have much to loose... and over the course of... oh, about 3 hours (on AIM, she's not at my school :( ), I managed, while trying not to vomit up my liver from nerves, to confess that I loved her, I was her friend, and I asked, finally, "Would you consider entering into a romantic relationship with me?"  I know; the wording of everything was all couched in indirect poetic terms - waaayyy to nervous to just ASK, you know?
She thought I might have been joking up until I called and she heard it in my voice. It was kind of funny, actually. We both treated that first... 'date' like some kind of business dinner, at least as for plans. She said... something like "Uh... I don't know about romantic...we could.. try?"
Finally, over Thanksgiving break, I show up at her house in the evening (with ice cream for her and her mother, for which I, apparently, won serious points,) and we're talking awkwardly on the couch for a while... I decide to bite the bullet, and just said "oh, come over here so I can hug you," and... well, pretty much she's been like putty ever since.
The long distance helps, I think, in some ways. For instance, I know it's not just sex - I barely got to speak with her for a semester while she was in Ireland - because, when you can't have something (eg sex), you want it more, and if you're willing to go through that for another person specifically... well, it just speaks for itself.  (not that there's been any sex anyway ><. Bad self-image = all sorts of issues around sex. I'm still helping her get though it all, and she's still not comfortable with her own sexuality.)

tl;dr bite the bullet, try writing out what you'll say - but don't make it too flowery, just what you'd say (and don't edit it much), and if it's about being with her more than sex, than you've got it gold.
Unexpected gifts do well too. I didn't bring flowers the first time for a reason. Just like I didn't buy her flowers for Valentine's Day - I had a pineapple delivered to her dorm.




...holy crap that is a wall of text  :-[


damn. what a story. good luck bro
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