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[Bauglir]

-snip-

[zilpin]

+1 to Bauglir

I'd add, try to be observant or her, be mindful of her feelings before your own.
That's inherently against the nature of young men, our impressions always clouded by our passions, but in my several decades of experience with women, one thing to say:
It is more important to a woman that you really really hear her than anything else.
Talk with her, not at her.

Ah, young love.
http://xkcd.com/807/

[Soulwynd]

Eh, don't fool yourself, it's always about sex. You wont spend your life happily with someone unless you're both satisfied in bed as much as you are in any other part of your life with said someone. The longevity and happiness of any couple depends on their ability to be satisfied and to put up with crap in the areas they are not.

It is more important to a woman that you really really hear her than anything else.

The better you sex them the less you have to hear them. Goes for both male and female. Humans are much like dogs, the more you walk them and keep them tired, the less energy they have to bitch in other areas of their daily life. Whenever you see a couple constantly bickering at each other, you betcha their sex life doesn't compensate for the rest of their relationship.

It can be expressed by the following formula:

lim happiness→∞ = satisfaction - putting up with crap

Or to be more specific:

lim happiness→∞ = ((sex + friendship)/stress) - (crap / ability to put up with crap)

You hear that Dr. Phil?


Either way, you're 16, you're full of hormones, you want in her pants. If you claim it isn't the hormones/sex drive, go see a doctor, there's something wrong with you.

[Neonivek]

How unromantic

[Soulwynd]

How unromantic

Romance is part of sex and overall satisfaction since it's not all physical.

[The Transcendent Tyrant]

And don't come out and be like, "HI I LOVE YOU WILL YOU DATE ME?" or something along those lines.

Play it smooth, invite her out, start making moves.

[Ephemeriis]

Eh, don't fool yourself, it's always about sex. You wont spend your life happily with someone unless you're both satisfied in bed as much as you are in any other part of your life with said someone.

That assumes a monogamous relationship.

I agree that an individual is not going to be a terribly happy person if their sexual needs are not being met.  But you can spend your life very happily with someone, while getting your sexual needs met by somebody else.  Happens all the time.  And, assuming everybody is honest and up-front about what is going on, there's absolutely nothing wrong with it.

[Soulwynd]

.... Ephemeriis... That's... in my opinion is ... disgusting.

But then again it is my opinion. I would never be non-monogamous in a serious relationship. If someone even proposes that to me whenever we're serious, it's goodbye. Thanks for being honest, but no thanks.

[Zangi]

I think you need to add: "As long as I get to watch."

Just to top it off neatly.

[eerr]

Subtext:

(dating her will be the end of your FRIENDSHIP, FOREVER.)

Reality:
(FKK NO!, That is an extremely dumb assumption.)

(Clearly, the world ends just becuase someone hits some country with a nuke)

(are you the country being nuked?)

[Ephemeriis]

.... Ephemeriis... That's... in my opinion is ... disgusting.

But then again it is my opinion. I would never be non-monogamous in a serious relationship. If someone even proposes that to me whenever we're serious, it's goodbye. Thanks for being honest, but no thanks.

/shrug

I'm a happily married man.  I'm not interested in any kind of polyamorous relationship.  Frankly, I don't think I have the time/energy/stamina to keep up with multiple partners.  But there are an awful lot of very happy poly people out there.

Whatever floats your boat.

It's just important to keep an open mind.  I've seen some people make themselves and their partners very unhappy because they just kind of assumed they had to be monogamous.

[Soulwynd]

It's just important to keep an open mind.  I've seen some people make themselves and their partners very unhappy because they just kind of assumed they had to be monogamous.

Both must truly agree with it otherwise someone will end up unhappy anyway.

[bowdown2q]

@OP: Heh. I actually did just that 2 years ago. Friends with her for... pfffff 8 years? Sounds right. One night away at college, I had a very real option to ask out this cute girl - who was sitting on my lap the day before    - and, for the first time in my life, get laid.  I spent the night freaking the fuck out, because I've always felt that if you're not in it for the long haul, then what's the point, and I knew that girl was just a little bit too crazy (not good crazy; wont-go-to-a-doctor crazy) for me. 
And I started thinking about the other girl, my friend, with whom I loved to just hang around and talk... and I knew she was single (due to douche ex cheating on her, not that anyone was surprised by that :| ), and, the more I thought about her, the more I realized... I'd been in love with her since we'd met. At 12. I was just young and stupid, and VERY unconfident with myself (always been the weird one, always been overweight, never really happy with my body), and, to my shame, couldn't see past the image of beauty that the world'd force-fed me - specifically b/c she has MS, and the lazy eye and crutches always made me awkward (gotten over that now). But, well, I figured I didn't have much to loose... and over the course of... oh, about 3 hours (on AIM, she's not at my school ), I managed, while trying not to vomit up my liver from nerves, to confess that I loved her, I was her friend, and I asked, finally, "Would you consider entering into a romantic relationship with me?"  I know; the wording of everything was all couched in indirect poetic terms - waaayyy to nervous to just ASK, you know?
She thought I might have been joking up until I called and she heard it in my voice. It was kind of funny, actually. We both treated that first... 'date' like some kind of business dinner, at least as for plans. She said... something like "Uh... I don't know about romantic...we could.. try?"
Finally, over Thanksgiving break, I show up at her house in the evening (with ice cream for her and her mother, for which I, apparently, won serious points,) and we're talking awkwardly on the couch for a while... I decide to bite the bullet, and just said "oh, come over here so I can hug you," and... well, pretty much she's been like putty ever since.
The long distance helps, I think, in some ways. For instance, I know it's not just sex - I barely got to speak with her for a semester while she was in Ireland - because, when you can't have something (eg sex), you want it more, and if you're willing to go through that for another person specifically... well, it just speaks for itself.  (not that there's been any sex anyway ><. Bad self-image = all sorts of issues around sex. I'm still helping her get though it all, and she's still not comfortable with her own sexuality.)

tl;dr bite the bullet, try writing out what you'll say - but don't make it too flowery, just what you'd say (and don't edit it much), and if it's about being with her more than sex, than you've got it gold.
Unexpected gifts do well too. I didn't bring flowers the first time for a reason. Just like I didn't buy her flowers for Valentine's Day - I had a pineapple delivered to her dorm.




...holy crap that is a wall of text 

[Soulwynd]

Ice cream always wins some major cookie-points. (unless someone's lactose intolerant, then you win nasty gas)

Cooking and doing silly spontaneous date ideas help too. Just don't go overboard or they might expect it more often than they should. =p

@Bowdown
Don't take this the wrong way, but it does sound like it will be problematic if you two don't get over those sexual issues. Also, someone not being able to handle 6 months without sexual stuff is more of a psychological issue than how you feel about someone. Sure if you really want someone you might wait, but when you start thinking that way you're just shifting the problem around.

[bowdown2q]

Tell me about it. Nah, she's alright. It's jsut she's always had HUGE self-image issues. You'd think a girl woudl have said, at least once in her life, "I'm pretty" by 21 :/. We're working on it.

And yes, cook for a girl and she'll bend herself over the table (awesomeface.jpg)