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[Kaiser Reinhard]

So yeah, I've got a girl who's been great friends with me for about 10 years now, ever since we were both about 6. About this year I started to have a crush on her, and I've been going out with her more often. I'd really like to let her know that I like her, but then I'm afraid that if I do and if she rejects me, she might not want to be friends with me anymore. I really don't want that to happen.

What should I do?

[Deon]

If she has no boyfriend then you have a good chance. However I know (from my experience) that such relations are quite hard to maintain because she knows so much about you. Sometimes it's much easier to love someone you don't know because you make up cool stories about them and consider them to be a better person than they are, while well-known people are not that interesting for a romance.

I would suggest to at least try this, because you may happen in a situation when she gets a boyfriend and rushes to you to tell how it's great to have a love... That would really suck.

[nenjin]

If you've been friends that long, I don't think her rejecting you would make her not want to be your friend anymore.

Unless you get all hurt/resentful/weird about it.

There's nothing wrong with finding out how she feels. The only thing you truly have control over is your own reaction to her feelings. So why not find out. If she rejects you and then goes on to say she doesn't want to be your friend anymore either.....did you really want her as a friend anyways?

[Kaiser Reinhard]

She hasn't got a boyfriend.

And yes, I do want her as a friend. I immensely enjoy simply spending time with her just chatting the time away, and losing that would suck.

[Il Palazzo]

She hasn't got a boyfriend.

And yes, I do want her as a friend. I immensely enjoy simply spending time with her just chatting the time away, and losing that would suck.

Go for it mate. You know her for so long that you can just casually tell her how you've begun to feel, without all that usual drama and beating around the bush.

[Lordinquisitor]

Just go for it. Most girls are cool about it; And i doubt that she would cancel the friendship if she isn`t interested in you.

[Kaiser Reinhard]

Guess I'll tell her about it sometime this month. Hope everything goes well, I guess.

[Muz]

However I know (from my experience) that such relations are quite hard to maintain because she knows so much about you. Sometimes it's much easier to love someone you don't know because you make up cool stories about them and consider them to be a better person than they are, while well-known people are not that interesting for a romance.

Er, I'd argue that they're easier to maintain because they do know so much. I mean hey, sometimes you get attracted to a girl, then find out years later that they have some annoying quirk that you can't live with, like being racist, being a slut/furry, smokes/drinks/junkie, not liking books, not wanting kids, etc. Yeah, it's not as fun for a fling, but actually great for a long-term romance.

Oh, and yeah, you should go for it. I have a friend who once joked to a girl he was friends with that he liked her. She was quite upset because he didn't tell her earlier before she had a boyfriend.. she admitted that she's had a crush on him for a while but didn't make a move, but doesn't want to dump her boyfriend for him. He decided to never tell her that it was just a joke

A lot of people do stay friends with their ex-es. Just as long as the break-up isn't too harsh. Go for it, it's by far, the most likely way a crush can become something mroe. And since you've been friends for so long, you won't likely lose her as a friend.

[eerr]

Why are you asking us, when the answer is obviously yes?

[DJ]

As long as you can handle potential rejection in a mature and reasonable manner, go for it.

[Soulwynd]

What do you value more?

Friendship (includes watching her making out with other people) or;
Getting in her pants.

If you don't think you'd be able to feel well with her dating someone else, try to date her even if that costs the friendship. If things go bad you can cut that out right away and save yourself from a lot of pain and pissed-off-ness. On the other hand, if you really think asking her out would fuck up the friendship and you'd be okay with her fucking someone else in a near future, then don't bother trying to date her.

[Lordinquisitor]

The chance that asking her out could destroy the friendship if she says no is pretty low, though.

[Ephemeriis]

As Soulwynd indicated, you need to take a look at your own thoughts/feelings before worrying about her's.

What, exactly, do you mean when you say you're crushing on her?  What is it that you think you're pursuing?  What is it that you want, that you don't have in your current relationship?  What is it that you want to attain?

How would you feel if you continued to be "just friends", and she had a romantic/intimate relationship with someone else?  What would that do for your friendship?

How would you feel if she rejected you?  If she's happy with the relationship as it is?

To be honest, you're more or less doing it the right way.  You've actually gotten to know her before trying to get in her pants.  You'd be amazed at how few people do that these days.  And people are still surprised when they see the divorce statistics...

You can't control her actions, emotions, or response.  She's either interested, or she isn't.  She'll either get weird after you broach the subject, or she won't.  And that's entirely out of your hands.

But you can control your own actions, emotions, and response.  That's what you need to worry about.  Evaluate what you're feeling, what you're looking for, what kind of things you can tolerate, and what things you cannot.  Then make the appropriate decision.

Although...  To be completely honest, it almost doesn't matter.  You said you'd known her for 10 years, since you were both 6?  The odds of the two of you actually staying close friends through the rest of highschool/college/life/whatever are pretty slim.  It'd be a shame to pass up the opportunity just because you thought you'd lose a friend, only to lose her anyway.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Don't go for it. You're gambling with a long-term friendship here, and that makes the stakes quite high indeed.

[Soulwynd]

Meh... Friends come and go.

While I enjoy the friends I have at any given moment, I don't fool myself thinking they will be there forever.