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Author Topic: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse  (Read 3461 times)

Yalishandaw

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A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« on: November 13, 2010, 03:01:19 pm »

In the vast majority of zombie fiction, zeds outnumber us by quite a bit.  This means preparing for surviving the zombie apocalypse is like getting ready to win the lottery.  Ergo, it make more sense to prepare for life as a zombie.  I recommend eating foods with lots of preservatives, sturdy shoes(hiking boots or running shoes, depending on zed variety), a good helmet, duct tape and taking excellent care of your teeth.  What would you do to prepare for life as a zombie?
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scriver

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2010, 03:34:51 pm »

Diapers. Lot's of them.
And since you'll never know when hell fills up, you have to wear them all the time.
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Virex

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2010, 04:55:25 pm »

The best way to prepare for a zombie apocalypse is to greatly reduce the amount of people in you... is the FBI watching this?
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Nikov

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2010, 04:59:00 pm »

Graft some enormous metal blades and plates onto my body, irradiate myself until I glow, then hope people run away thinking I'm some sort of champion of the underworld.
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Zrk2

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2010, 06:13:17 pm »

Acquire a shot gun of my own. Oh the irony!
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Sir Finkus

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2010, 01:30:08 pm »

I'm so ready
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I also have a 1911, and if left 4 dead has taught me anything, it's that 1911s start having infinite ammo during a zombie apocalypse.
:edit: I probably shouldn't have skimmed.  I'd tray and make it so that I'd look as normal as possible so I can get closer to the survivors without alerting them.  Then bitey bitey.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2010, 01:33:51 pm by Sir Finkus »
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ChairmanPoo

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2010, 01:36:39 pm »

Diapers. Lot's of them.
And since you'll never know when hell fills up, you have to wear them all the time.
This reminds me of how deadly dirty diapers were in Ultima VII. Using it on an enemy (ANY enemy, even an undead lich) would result in insta-routing it
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Criptfeind

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2010, 01:39:01 pm »

I will strap a motion activated sound system to my self that says "Oh thank god, someone is alive! You got to help me!"
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Yalishandaw

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2010, 11:53:05 pm »

Orange armband, to screw with college students.
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Cthulhu

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2010, 11:53:13 pm »

I'm so ready
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I also have a 1911, and if left 4 dead has taught me anything, it's that 1911s start having infinite ammo during a zombie apocalypse.
:edit: I probably shouldn't have skimmed.  I'd tray and make it so that I'd look as normal as possible so I can get closer to the survivors without alerting them.  Then bitey bitey.

Jeez man, an SKS?  7.62 ammo is expensive as hell and will be hard to find in a post-apocalyptic scenario.

9mm pistol, .22 rifle, 12 gauge shotgun.  Zombie apocalypse breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
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ZhangC1459

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2010, 11:56:04 pm »

I'm so ready
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
I also have a 1911, and if left 4 dead has taught me anything, it's that 1911s start having infinite ammo during a zombie apocalypse.
:edit: I probably shouldn't have skimmed.  I'd tray and make it so that I'd look as normal as possible so I can get closer to the survivors without alerting them.  Then bitey bitey.

I think you missed the point.  This is what we're going to do to make sure we're the most badass zombies around.  Because we WILL get you.

I'll masturbate a lot.  That means I'll have a huge right arm, then I'll play Charger and kill the shit out of everyone.

ChairmanPoo

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #11 on: November 14, 2010, 11:59:52 pm »

I'd cut holes on my abdomen and insert some eyearms. Those might come in handy
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eerr

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #12 on: November 15, 2010, 11:22:37 am »

Get myself a fresh camo suit, and a tribal mask.
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USEC_OFFICER

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #13 on: November 15, 2010, 11:29:45 am »

Aquire a solar powered exo-suit. That way, I can shamble at running speed, break bones, and have some protection against bullets. At least, until there's a cloudy day.
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Ephemeriis

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Re: A practical approach to preparing for the zombie apocalypse
« Reply #14 on: November 15, 2010, 11:37:18 am »

I will strap a motion activated sound system to my self that says "Oh thank god, someone is alive! You got to help me!"

I like this idea.

Combined with eating lots of preservative-laden foods and maybe wearing clothes that don't leave a whole lot of skin exposed.  Pass for living just long enough to get in close and take a bite out of someone.  Though I suspect it would only work once or twice...  You're sure to get shot by somebody you're chewing on before too long, and that ruins the whole "I'm not a zombie" look.

Me?  I'm thinking I'll go for something more Fido-esque.  Develop some good manual labor skills, cultivate a friendly disposition, and hope I can find some nice zombie-loving woman to take me in.
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