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[SaberToothTiger]

I was doing poorly. I decided to restore the previous turn.

Then the game crashed.

I reloaded.

Then the game crashed.

I started a new game, this time I was doing decently. I defeated the bolsheviks feebly trying to crush the Good, Proper and Christian forces (that's us!) and chased them to the Kuban. My divisions were divided to take the smaller towns in the south while the 1st Corps seized the railroad, crucial to the war effort. Two Don Cossack corps rushed to Tsaritsyn, steamrolling the unprepared reds and forcing them to take refuge inside the massive city on the Volga. Thus begun a long siege, with the Red forces being more numerous and well dug in, forcing me to try to starve them out. I seized much artillery from the retreating reds, making my siege considerably easier.

In the Don area the things we not so smooth, however. Filthy Communist Scum Evil had scrambled together a powerful unit and started digging in Ekaterinodar. The city was a jewel of the Black Sea and it had a great value both as a symbol to our people and as home to a small but useful industry with which we would feed our war. Thus, I rallied a massive Corps (in actuality it had two Corps effectively merged into one) with over 30 thousand infantrymen, 10 thousand cavalrymen and 90 cannons. Under the brilliant command of our True Russian officers we assaulted the inferior Reds and smashed their filthy lines into dust, killing over 10 thousand men of the 30 thousand strong army and taking three thousand commies prisoner. The Bolsheviks, as usual, resorted to deception. I found out that the Reds had a division hidden in the swamps of the Kuban which was ready to strike at my triumphant yet exhausted force. If there would be a battle, over half of my forces would likely be routed and the war against the less-than-human Reds would be over. I bravely ordered my forces to, as the good Tzar said (God rest his and his family's souls), leg it. My newly-reorganised troops used the railroad to mount a daring retreat to the northeast, evading the crushing defeat which would be inflicted upon us if we stayed.

Then the game crashed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Revolution Under Siege Gold

[Akura]

I think I found one of the most irritating bosses of any game ever. A literal pile of vomit, whose somewhat lengthy preceding cutscene is punctuated by obnoxious burp sound effects, has insane defense, can poison, hits twice per attack, and summons smaller piles of vomit that can in turn summon more of themselves as well as blind the entire party at once.

Throwing every once of power at this guy isn't enough to kill it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Earthbound, against Belch. Actually figured out the gimmick, there's a certain item you have to use which locks him down for the entire battle. He might actually be unkillable until you use it, since he died much sooner than I had lasted without using it.

[Telgin]

Accidentally ran into lava with my last health point while fighting Ripto in Spyro 2.  Surprisingly, it only took 3 tries to beat him, I think, where Gulp took closer to 10.  It sucked because Gulp could heal himself by eating chickens...

Hmm, actually, I guess the actual last time I died was falling in a hole as Sheila in Spyro 3, but that's less interesting.

[MrRoboto75]

Dota 2, just end up permanently CC'd in every single fight.

I really just don't understand how to be relevant in this game.  I can do all the farming I want but the enemy team will still be many levels ahead of me and easily do twice or triple my damage.

[karhell]

Tested whether my Templar could stand up to Barmanu's ice meteor thingy...

Nope. Time to trek back through Chumbi Valley.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Titan Quest Anniversary (+Ragnarök, though it's mostly irrelevant to that part of the game)

[Greiger]

Died to the second boss of Star Ocean 4 again and again and again.  First time I fought him, I thought I was supposed to lose just because I could not damage him, the first boss of the game was the same way.  No wonder people claim the game is so bad, I only fought two bosses so far and both of them required hitting certain weak spots at certain times. 

Simple right?  But no they are very much not obvious. First one apparently needs me to hit it on it's most armored looking side for 1 or 2 about 50 times to break off the armor so I can do normal damage to it (but only that one side), That fight took about 2 hours, because I didn't look it up, I was only told the mechanics after by a friend with a similar problem.

Second one needs me to hit it in the back when it's doing a two part attack that not only knocks you away on the first part, it hits everything near it for tons of damage 2 seconds later if you are too close to it, literally leaving no space to actually hit the damn thing without getting hit back.  That one I looked up.

There is no hints or anything like that before or during the battle indicating these 'weak spots', the first boss simply seems straight up invulnerable until you hit it's sweet spot enough for it to take off it's armor, noting that said sweet spot gives no indication it is such even when yer hitting it.  And the 2nd boss actively discourages you from hitting it in it's vulnerable spot, the moment you get hit with that skill the first time anyone with a brain knows to stay the fuck away from it when it's using it. And to top all of this off, 3/4ths of your party is AI controlled and the AI does not understand anything more complicated than charge at enemy and hit it til the damage numbers stop, so the rest of your party is completely useless for the encounters.

Who the hell designed these boss fights this way?  I can see if they gave you some kind of indicator of how to fight them, but there is absolutely nothing, not even a special sound when you are doing things right, hell on the first boss you don't even do extra damage.  I am consitering just quitting the game here and now, Tri Ace was a god among developers, but they have clearly lost their touch if they think this is good game design.

[Man of Paper]

Spawned on Squad Leader, got immediately shot in the back of the head by said SL, right in time for tickets to run out.

Rising Storm 2: Vietnam

[Kagus]

Dota 2, just end up permanently CC'd in every single fight.

I really just don't understand how to be relevant in this game.  I can do all the farming I want but the enemy team will still be many levels ahead of me and easily do twice or triple my damage.

Step 1: Blame your team.

Step 2: Learn some Russian or Portuguese in order to blame your team better.


So, despite the word's origin and face value, the team's "carry" is really never meant to operate alone. Except in extreme circumstances, you are not the one who is supposed to lead the charge into the enemy midst, and you are not supposed to go bravely venturing where no teammate has gone before behind enemy lines. You are supposed to be safe, get fat, and be the hammer to your team's anvil.

You need initiators to start the fight by jumping in and either eating the enemy team's first few precious stuns or by stunning the fuck out of everyone to prevent them from doing that. Then you need some kind of followup to help pin and dismantle the team once the initiator has done their job of buying time. Then the carry goes in and starts eating the trussed-up piñatas that the enemy team has been turned into.

This is the optimal situation, and the one you should always try and aim for. If the enemy team is halfway competent or if your team isn't quite halfway competent, this likely won't be what actually happens, but it's still a good metric to try and follow.

Also, buy a goddamn BKB. If you do not have a BKB, you are not built yet. If you are not built yet, why are you fighting? Pre-built carry interaction should only be done very carefully and with good coordination with your teammates. Most carries simply cannot meaningfully contribute until they hit their sweet spot of gear and levels, so you getting into fights before then had better only be because your team is spoon-feeding you weakened enemy heroes so you can grow big and strong. If you're playing Antimage and your team is griping at you for not contributing in teamfights before you've even got a battlefury, they are being dorks and are likely intent on losing the game.

This does not mean you should ignore your team or refuse to help them. While you can't be expected to swing much weight around in the early game, you *can* still help out by listening to them and picking up easy kills or distracting/scaring someone trying to gank one of your supports, so long as you do not endanger yourself. Getting a kill as a carry is considerably less important than staying alive as a carry.


Now, I've only assumed that you're playing carry, because you're talking about damage and farming. If you are not playing a carry, those things are not your job. There are of course roles like mid or ganker where you need a certain level advantage and a couple core items in order to hit your stride, but they're often referred to as soft or semi-carries anyways. If you're playing CM, you shouldn't be stuck in the lane trying to get last hits. You should be out supporting your team, because you do not need expensive items or even that many levels in order to be relevant.


As a general suggestion, I'd like to recommend playing some coop vs. AI rounds. That gamemode tends to draw a slightly more chill crowd, and while the AI is hysterically predictable and dumb at times, they can still provide a good learning experience for some aspects of the game because they have terrifying reaction speeds. If you can properly lock down a bot team with CC or beat them in last hits, you're doing well (this mainly only applies to the higher difficulty bots, the lower difficulty ones are... Not very good at anything except walking in a straight line and dying).

Also, the bots rarely taunt and jeer quite as much as an enemy human team, which can help.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Spawned on Squad Leader, got immediately shot in the back of the head by said SL, right in time for tickets to run out.

Rising Storm 2: Vietnam

An integral part of the Rising Storm experience for sure. You haven't fully enjoyed the game until you've died immediately on spawning at least ten separate times and kept on playing. _{Because while the game might have plenty of bullshit, it's balanced out by those moments where everything lines up perfectly. Like flanking an enemy firing line and getting five kills before anyone realizes you're there. Or sneaking behind enemy lines, skrimishing with freshly spawned soldiers, and sniping a commander who thinks he is completely safe. Those are the moments when I love the game the most. And then my next five deaths come from spawnkills, friendly fire, or just plain being shot out of the blue. The bullshit can't stay away forever.}

[Man of Paper]

I've had shit luck for the last week or so with RS2. I don't think I've been on a winning team in at least a dozen games, and I wish that was exaggeration. Haven't been able to get those badass moments I play the game for because of rampant teamkilling and Commanders deciding to wipe out their own teams. At least three games were lost because of Commanders dropping arty or napalm on a point we'd almost secured. I stopped playing last night after I had a commander napalm the team every single time he used it. The only way to survive was to rush onto the point into the buildings that the enemy were waiting for us in. And my lower spine is apparently the largest thing in existence, kept getting hit from 100+ meters away though thick jungle. I've played long enough (191 hours) to get that bullshit's going to happen, that's war. But last night especially was a mine of the purest salt.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Well fuck.

[EnigmaticHat]

-snip-

-snip-

Spoiler: practical advice, hopefully (click to show/hide)

In this current meta I'd avoid "hard" carries that don't fight until 30+ minutes; the game is usually decided by then.  I'd also avoid BKBs, because its an expensive defensive item and games are short.  And some meta supports have nasty CC that goes through spell immunity.  BKBs are good but a new player won't know when to get one.

Anyway, some basics.  If you're the carryiest guy on the team go to safelane (you can farm closer to tower).  As a carry you'll want to mix two sets of starting items: regen items, and things to help you last hit.  If you find yourself dying in lane as a hero get regen, if you can't last hit get last hitting items.  Tangos regen efficiently and during combat, salves heal super quick out of combat, mangos heal extremely slowly but can let low max mana heroes cast a spell if desperate.  To last hit you'll want your hero's primary stat (because that gives damage), and if you're melee get a quelling blade.  Best way to get primary stats is with the GG branch if you have the slots.  Otherwise you'll want to get slippers, gauntlet or mantel (each gives 3 in one of the 3 stats cheaply, get which ever is your primary).  If you 100% prioritize regen over last hits, get a magic stick + branch and later build them into a wand.

In lane you just want to get last hits without dying.  Practice last hitting as much as you can, its your meat and potatoes.  Your support (you really need one of those) is going to try to harass the enemy offlaner(s).  He's probably going to lose and run out of hp/mana, or chase them when he shouldn't.  You have to make a value judgement as to when to help your support harrass/chase and when to play defensively and keep your health high.  The only way to know is experience.  Letting your support die is sometimes a valid choice.  As a snowbally carry you absolutely need to not die during the laning phase, that's more important than getting kills and its more important than your teammates surviving.  After the laning phase dying is more acceptable.  Just don't keep fighting after you respawn.  That's a trap; cool off, farm a bit, then pick a fight when its in your interests.  If necessary ping your teammates position (hold alt, click minimap) and type "b" into chat (short for back, as in go back).

If you find yourself dying after the first couple minutes you need armor (if its physical hits) or spell resistance (if its magic).  Best way to get armor on a carry is to get ring of protection and build it into a ring of basilius; turn off the passive or it will push the creeps to the enemy tower.  Spell resistance is expensive and doesn't build into anything you want, so unless you're getting nuked constantly, don't bother.  If you truly don't want to get nuked, buy a bracer or a cloak.  Neither builds into anything you want but its better than dying.  All of thats for the earlygame.  In the lategame... people seem to like desolator and maelstrom I guess?  Manta Style is a damage item you can use to purge "soft" CC (like silences and slows).  Buy damage items that give you your primary stat, or strength for the hp if you're feeding.  If you're a strength carry in the lategame buy a lotus orb.  It might be effective but its always hilarious.

In the midgame carry a TP everywhere and watch the map.  When your team isn't actively attacking you'll want to stay on your side of the map farming lanes and jungle creeps.  When you see enemy heroes in your jungle (turn on minimap hero faces), TP in to join the fight.  When you're a little better at the game you can memorize which heroes have stuns and use your TPs to escape (damage doesn't cancel TP).  Double tap the button to go back to fountain.  Unfortunately the current meta favors characters with hard stuns so that strat is of limited use.

DOTA 2 favors aggression.  Unfortunately, this contradicts the common advice that new players should play cautious; this is one of those things to learn by experience.  Aggression starts at -15 seconds (contesting bounty runes) and ends when the game is over.  As a carry you don't want to leave your lane to gank (lost farm time) but if you see an ally coming towards your lane wait till they're close and then rush your laning opponent.  Don't give up the gank by attacking early.  In the mid/lategame you need your teammates to do anything aggressive.  Don't enter the enemy jungle unless you have vision there, you have people with you, and/or most enemies are visible on minimap.  If enough of those things are true that you feel safe, congrats, you're ready to gank.  Look for a hero alone on the minimap and go kill them.  If an enemy is alone in your jungle ping them and your team will probably converge on them for the easy kill.  Take towers whenever you can.  Only try to take towers if one of the following is true: its a T1 tower, your team is grouping up for an attack, or an enemy heavyhitter is dead for 20+ seconds (visible under their portrait).

Carries I'd recommend to a new player: Wraith King, Gyrocopter (remember to use your q when there's only one target near you), Drow (if you're from LoL she most resembles a LoL ADC).

Carries I'd recommend for current meta: Faceless Void, Phantom Assassin... that's what I got.

[Culise]

Told a Pyro Jack that "mascots are cool." It told me off for confusing it with its brother Jack and murdered me in a single hit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Shin Megami Tensei: Strange Journey Redux

[Kagus]

SS13 again. Was in the process of handling a pyroclasm in the AI satellite when one of the turrets stunned me just in time for a slime to spawn and sit on my head. After a nasty battle, I was left with severe cellular damage. Headed over to medbay, was about to get put in the cryotubes by the virologist/chemist when someone with the CE's ID card ran in and just murdered both of us with mining loot stuffed into a bag of holding. Virologist's body got stuffed into the incinerator and permanently destroyed, mine got stuffed into the gibber and permanently destroyed.

An admin-observer had taken offense at the fact that this was an extended (no roundstart threats) shift, so he took one of the legally grey-area ghost roles and found an excuse to launch a genocide on the station.


This was done apparently from the moral high ground of creating more hostility on the server. He has a tendency to either find a casus belli for murdering people, or just throw himself into the supermatter engine to destabilize it because lolz. So, in this case, the lesson was "if you see any ashwalkers, just murder all of them" (note that this is the same ashwalker role as from my last SS13 story), because regardless of how friendly the first ones might be, someone (him) is inevitably going to join and kill everyone else. Also, we apparently need more people who take up the noble cause of just flat out killing everyone, because "5-hour rounds kill the server".

So yeah, thanks. Lesson learned. Never play that role again, despite having a fondness for it, and shoot every one of them on sight despite the fun times I've had with them, because eventually someone is gonna shit in the punchbowl. And always kill everyone, because long rounds with very few people where they work on big projects and test game mechanics are toxic and should be replaced with a deathmatch.

[Rince Wind]

Played MWO for the first time in ages.

MWO