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[Haspen]

Fuckin' ravens are fuckin' worse than medusa heads for fuck's sake. Who thought it was a good idea to put so goddamn many of them when all I have is a short sword and no upward attack.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Castlevania LeCarde Chronicles 2 fangame

_{AND I STILL DON'T KNOW HOW TO GET PASS THE INN'S DOOR!!}

* Haspen explodes

[Sirus]

I was ambushed by four janitorial buckets that proceeded to become eldritch space horrors and strangle the life out of me.

PREY

Goddamn I love this game. It's like System Shock, Dishonored, and Bioshock had a baby.

Are you talking about that old FPS with magical Native Americans or the new game that came out?

[Rethi-Eli]

I was ambushed by four janitorial buckets that proceeded to become eldritch space horrors and strangle the life out of me.

PREY

Goddamn I love this game. It's like System Shock, Dishonored, and Bioshock had a baby.

Are you talking about that old FPS with magical Native Americans or the new game that came out?

Probs the new one, considering the use of "eldritch space horror"

[Sirus]

I was ambushed by four janitorial buckets that proceeded to become eldritch space horrors and strangle the life out of me.

PREY

Goddamn I love this game. It's like System Shock, Dishonored, and Bioshock had a baby.

Are you talking about that old FPS with magical Native Americans or the new game that came out?

Probs the new one, considering the use of "eldritch space horror"

I mean, the old PREY also took place in space with plenty of horrific baddies. A bit light on the eldritch front but it did do a pretty good job of mindfucking the player with portals and gravity changes.

[Thexor]

Marienburg, Marienburg, Marienburg. How I despise you, and more importantly, your army. Your income means you can maintain more units than me, and you're coupling that with not leaving the safety of your capital. My attempts to fight you on open ground have been thwarted by your ridiculous (difficulty-based) morale boost, which lets your forces hold together even as they are surrounded, sliced apart by ranged fire, and suffering from the recent death of your lord, while your melee forces slowly whittle through my own troops. My attempt to siege your garrison is complicated by my second stack not being able to get close enough to reinforce when you sally forth. My attempts to bide my time waiting are hampered by Orcs (who have somehow allowed you to negotiate peace with them, despite your mutual hatred and territorial adjacency), and by a horde of Beastmen that are ignoring everything else in their path to assault my settlements that, barely reaching T2, cannot possibly have walls attached to them yet.

I will persevere. I will find a strategy to overcome your advantages. And I will take possession of your port. I just... can't manage it with a direct assault.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Total War: Warhammer, as the Empire on Very Hard. I easily stomped the Normal Empire campaign back when I was starting this game, and now a few hundred hours later I'm back for a VH playthrough. And wow, it's fun actually being challenged for a change... I just wish it wasn't entirely from the AI's forces being nigh-unbreakable!

[Tawa]

Goddammit, why does Finland suck? I mean, I love you and all, Finland, but I can raise maybe 3000 troops total from my chiefs in Finland and Lappland, which doesn't help AT ALL when I've got angry Vikings hungry for Suomi to the west, some pissed-off Lithuanian guy who keeps trying to subjugate me from the south, and Russians who are salty over my conquest of the Rus' to the east.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Crusader Kings II

Elective Gavelkind can go screw itself as well. I get irrationally nervous when I see that my kids are in line to inherit kingdoms that don't exist, and then do stupid stuff in a vain attempt to quickly reform the faith and switch over to regular Gavelkind.

[Haspen]

It was a terrible idea to try and see the beauty of Jeanne D'Albert, or whatshername.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Lecarde Chronicles 2

[Rolan7]

In my continuing quest to get owned by games I've played for two decades, I loaded up Alpha Centauri.  I'd been sharing tips with a friend, and wanted to see how my advice worked in practice.  Specifically, the Lord's Believers, possibly the trickiest faction.  I dared set the difficulty at 3/6.

Why did I think this was a rush faction, with no production bonus or morale bonus?!  Simply because the AI was always damnably aggressive with it?  Extra support is nice, but a mid-game strength really.

Ah- a hidden 50% attack bonus, not shown in-game that I can find.
That explains how my Spartan neighbors, with tech parity, effortlessly captured my capital even as my rovers destroyed their units in the field.  My usual strategy of fortifying and inviting assault won't work, here - I must actively scout and initiate combats.  Hrm.

(It's a miracle I was able to maintain tech parity at all.  I formed a pact with the Morganites, and they granted me multiple techs *for free*.  Maybe I'll remember that generosity in my next attempt...  Which will be at Specialist (2) not Talent (3).  This faction is fairly alien to me, after all.)

Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri (vanilla, this time)

[Akura]

I swear, taking Hyperion Peaks from the Orks, as the Necrons, is all but impossible.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Warhammer 40k: Dawn of War: Dark Crusade. For the uninitiated, Hyperion Peaks is a special battle map where you must wipe out all the enemy structures, yet having no ability to build you own - you only have a large, unwieldy, and mostly vehicular force and that's it. The Necrons have a special problem; while all races can capture strategic points and build control structures/turrets on them, the Necrons cannot gather Requisition from them(the main reason to capture them), they only get a slight increase in the speed they research techs and summon warriors. Although they have two fully activated Monoliths and Necron Warriors are free, the Monoliths are slow as hell(and can get overwhelmed as the Orks spam Wartrukks and Armored Nobz) and the Warrior squads only come with three units(can be reinforced to eight).

The real problem is that Necrons only use Power as a resource, which requires building generators to get, which cannot be built. They need Power to repair, and Power to reinforce squads, Power that, if it runs out, will leave them screwed and overwhelmed by the greenskin hordes. Oh, and just because you blow up an area and move on, the Orks have Gretchins everywhere, and they have poor morale, run faster when morale breaks(which happens when a Flayed One so much as looks at them funny), and can capture strategic points and immediately build listening posts(which counts for the mission) on them.

It's a miracle I was able to maintain tech parity at all.  I formed a pact with the Morganites, and they granted me multiple techs *for free*.

Wait, Morgan gave you valuable technology for free? Was he on drugs or something? Maybe he should be checked for a mindworm infestation.

[Rolan7]

To be fair, the University was beating at his door.  I was a source of trade income, and no threat at all at that point.  It was in his interests that I fend off the Spartans. (and by default rules, tech is never captured from bases)
Capitalists know the value of investment.  I failed, but I wonder if he did?
Also the first tech he shared was the Free Market one, which he has a bias towards promoting.

Also I found the entry for The Lords Believers in the datalinks, it was under T instead of L or B as I expected.  And the attack bonus is only 25%, but still. 

Trying again now, still ironman but mere Specialist, and I think I've struck gold - first 2 pods granted tech, including information networks, and I started by the Uranium Flats.  No sign of opposition, either.  Scrambling to construct colonies and harvest that sweet energy, and establish territory.
I feel indebted to Morgan, I will be kind to him in this playthrough.

Investment.

[IronTomato]

IronTomato: GIT GUD GIT LMAOBOX

[Votekicking: IronTomato]
Reason given: Cheating
Yes: [ 9 ]          No: [ 0 ]

Vote passed.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Team Fortress 2

[Rethi-Eli]

Anor londo silver knight archers. I try running past them - they shoot me down. I try using a shield - they push me off the edge. I try rolling -
they just wait for me to run out of stamina and then shoot me down. I try sniping them with poison arrows - I miss, get too close from the animation, and... they shoot me down.

Man, Dark Souls is kicking my ass. If I wanted frustration, an overwhelming challenge, and the feeling that I have no idea what I'm doing, I'd just go back to Dwarf Fortress.

Spoiler: gaem is dark souls u idiut (click to show/hide)

Dark Souls

[flabort]

-snip-

But WERE you cheating?

[SeriousConcentrate]

Anor londo silver knight archers

Time your rolls. If you just rollspam you'll run out of stamina, so learn when your iframes are.

Alternatively, two-hand a shield with a high Stability stat.

[Greiger]

-snip-

But WERE you cheating?

Probably not.  Hell I've been banned from TF2 servers just for knowing how to fire rockets from around corners.  Admins will ban you from their servers at the drop of a hat if you are better than them.   I was banned on 3 diffrent servers back in the day for essentially being too good.  And I was really only good with solly and huntsman sniper (for some reason I couldn't use the rifle worth a damn)