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[Gabeux]

Self-immolated my fleet using area weapons-against a pirate base that had about 1/4 the total collective firepower of my fleet. The only damage the pirate base basically did was using tractor beams to pull my ships into my own weapons' area of effect 

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Distatn Worlds:Universe. Fuck area weapons, going back to energy torps

I almost lost my game in the first few minutes because newly made military ships would engage giant krators automatically, and I couldn't find a way to keep them from doing that (I recently reinstalled the game after ages without playing it).
The monsters got ridiculously big and killed a LOT of stuff before I managed to get my crap together and kill them.
They even reproduced.

[Rolan7]

I arranged with another lord to attack a Nord castle.  The north-men are masters of horseless combat, making their castles exceptionally deadly to siege.  I wasn't worried, though.  The castle was understaffed, their faction crumbling under a long but successful campaign.  My character is skilled at sniping defenders from their walls, then taking and holding said walls with a massive claymore.  Even versus Nords.

All I needed was some men to push the siege ladder up to the wall while I took care of business.  This lord had more than enough.  But mysteriously he didn't show, leaving me to attack with a token "army" of three fresh recruits from a local village.  The recruits died in seconds, and my heroine couldn't push the siege tower alone.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Mount&Blade: Warband

It's weird.  I suggested that he siege the city, he agreed and did so.  Several days later I approached and suggested we start the attack, and he dutifully repositioned.  But when I approach the city myself I'm prompted to construct the siege tower, which takes me three days, and after it's done the lord doesn't join the assault despite standing *right there* on the world map.  Maybe I have to wait for him to finish the siege preparations first...

Edit:  Ah, worked it out.  I suggested the assault a second time and this time he said he wouldn't be ready for six hours.  Still a bit screwy, but fortunately I saved the game.

Naturally the Vaegir Kingdom is off having a feast as 90 men and 1 woman storm what I just realized is the last Nord holding.  It's like they *want* the faction to bounce back.

[Itnetlolor]

One thing I've learned about playing through this game again is that if I recognize the dialogue at the start of the mission, then I'm in for a bad time.

"I've missed you, kiddo, since you've joined the Rebellion."

Cue five or six minutes of boring minesweeping followed by swarms of miniscule 1hp targets attacking my 1hp escort quest. FUUUUU-

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Star Wars: X-Wing Alliance

FINALLY completed it, but man, fuck that mission. Can I get back in an A-Wing now?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is it that one mission where you face off against the Black Sun Pirates while rescuing your sister and her mining crew buddies? I hated that mission (though I liked the music that played for the first times playing it). Had to interrupt my boarding, just to deal with all those Supafighters before I could continue where I left off, and have to sit there that whole time picking them up with nothing to do for the next 5-odd minutes. Screw taking the turret position while they dilly-dally onto the ship, I'm better when dogfighting.

The other mission I hated doing was flying the A-Wing and having to inspect all the capital ships in an imperial fleet, as well as the one mission where Liberty is under attack by experimental TIEs. Found a loophole in that one by hiding in the hangar until things blew over, I was so frustrated with it. This time around, I might actually do better with it. But still, that mission sucked.

[itisnotlogical]

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

With the ingenious design of "the same ship but with a second command module for Bill", I bravely set off to rescue my wayward astronaut.

Turns out, it helps if you actually throttle up the rockets before firing them and disengaging the structural supports.

Kerbal Space Program.

[Satarus]

Ran off a small walkway because I didn't turn fast enough

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Dark Souls

[Iceblaster]

Back on that PvP quest, way late at night so that I don't get instantly rekt by high-level Klingon players. It turns out, there's actually a lot more Borg on the map than is apparent at first glance. And the Cubes (basically a signal that you can't win this fight and to come back with help) wake up once you start capturing objectives... provided you even get close to the objectives, since they're surrounded by 5+ Borg probes accompanied by a Sphere. And asking for help is difficult when you can't zone chat until you reach a certain level.

Star Trek Online.

Solution? Defiants.

Loads and loads of Defiants.

Unless STO has it using the Star Trek Armada method and have Defiants be shit compared to Sovereigns.

:3

[itisnotlogical]

I never manage to burn aggressively enough at the thingy where you throttle your engines to go into orbit, so I always end up turning my lovingly hand-crafted munar lander into a ballistic missile.

Kerbal Space Program again.

[monk12]

One thing I've learned about playing through this game again is that if I recognize the dialogue at the start of the mission, then I'm in for a bad time.

"I've missed you, kiddo, since you've joined the Rebellion."

Cue five or six minutes of boring minesweeping followed by swarms of miniscule 1hp targets attacking my 1hp escort quest. FUUUUU-

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Star Wars: X-Wing Alliance

FINALLY completed it, but man, fuck that mission. Can I get back in an A-Wing now?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Is it that one mission where you face off against the Black Sun Pirates while rescuing your sister and her mining crew buddies? I hated that mission (though I liked the music that played for the first times playing it). Had to interrupt my boarding, just to deal with all those Supafighters before I could continue where I left off, and have to sit there that whole time picking them up with nothing to do for the next 5-odd minutes. Screw taking the turret position while they dilly-dally onto the ship, I'm better when dogfighting.

The other mission I hated doing was flying the A-Wing and having to inspect all the capital ships in an imperial fleet, as well as the one mission where Liberty is under attack by experimental TIEs. Found a loophole in that one by hiding in the hangar until things blew over, I was so frustrated with it. This time around, I might actually do better with it. But still, that mission sucked.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I still have that one to look forward to, unfortunately. This is the one where you're trying to hack an Imperial comm satellite, and by "you" I mean "Aeron in a crappy EVA suit that dies if you sneeze near it" and then an assault shuttle full of Stormtroopers in EVA suits pulls up 3k away and starts disgorging them all over the damn place. You're supposed to blow them away with missiles, but if they get too close to Aeron the AOE will kill her too, which is likely if the missile misses on the first pass and then circles around to blow them up later. Oh, and TIE fighters show up right at the end, just in time to unload a volley while Aeron gets back in the ship, which of course can kill her and start you over. It wouldn't be so bad if minesweeper duty wasn't so boring.

Hopefully I don't have to get back in a turret for a while.

[EnigmaticHat]

Playing a moba heroes of the storm.  I hate most mobas but friend gave me a free beta key, so whatever, worth a shot.  We lose a skirmish on the bottom lane, me and my friend bail when it becomes a 4v2, we're both low on health, there's a tower near but no actual walls and the enemy is faster.  My friend behind me drops, and they are coming at me, I run by a health fountain and grab it, to try to extend my hp.  I also throw some kind of ice snare behind me to try to snare them, since there is no way in hell I'm outrunning them all the way back to base.  I don't make it.

Then I get chewed out for turning around to throw attacks and stopping.  I'm sorry, but on my screen I grabbed the health fountain while moving, and the only attack I made was my ice block to try to snare the players who were obviously gaining on me.  The nearest safety was a screenlength away, and even then there was nothing there to prevent a towerdive.  I'm sorry but what exactly was I expected to do?  Keep running and NOT do anything to try to extend my life?

I hate mobas.

Heroes of the Storm

The single best advice I've ever heard about learning MOBAs is if anyone says anything even slightly mean to anyone, mute them instantly.  No questions asked.

You might be slightly less effective but you'll have a LOT more fun.

[i2amroy]

The single best advice I've ever heard about learning MOBAs is if anyone says anything even slightly mean to anyone, mute them instantly.  No questions asked.

You might be slightly less effective but you'll have a LOT more fun.

I generally give people one warning first, then mute them, but yeah, this is definitely my advice.

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

You didn't just use the jetpack to get back to the ladder?

[itisnotlogical]

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

You didn't just use the jetpack to get back to the ladder?

I didn't know how to use the jetpack, and by the time I found out the ship was out of sight.

[Facekillz058]

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

You didn't just use the jetpack to get back to the ladder?

I didn't know how to use the jetpack, and by the time I found out the ship was out of sight.

I think if you use the jetpack to break his orbit and get down to Kerbin, which might be possible? You should be able to land with him head first and he'll survive, no rescue mission involved. I may also be wrong.

[Execute/Dumbo.exe]

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

You didn't just use the jetpack to get back to the ladder?

I didn't know how to use the jetpack, and by the time I found out the ship was out of sight.

I think if you use the jetpack to break his orbit and get down to Kerbin, which might be possible? You should be able to land with him head first and he'll survive, no rescue mission involved. I may also be wrong.

*Kssh*'Houston, we have a problem,'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'What is it alpha 909er tango whatson?'*Kssh*
*kssh*'A stranded astronaut just Re-Entered the earths atmosphere, sir.'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'Well then alpha 909er tango whatson that's fine, isn't it? The rescue mission was a success!'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'That's the thing sir, he wasn't in a shuttle.'*Kssh*

[Akura]

Headshot a guy with a Mosin/Nagant. Despite this, he crosses the map in one turn and has enough AP to cripple me one a single hit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caravaneer 2

Kill one ninja, all the while his partner is plinking crossbow bolts at me for no damage. I figure I could just outshoot him. Then he hits me, kills me in one shot from high HP.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Caravaneer 2 again. Seriously? Fucking Shinobi pillagers.

[itisnotlogical]

I wanted Bill Kerman to very briefly go outside, look at space, and then go back in. But I accidentally went too far down the ladder and Bill stepped off. However, since Bill was in a (very shitty, elliptical, off-kilter) orbit, I decided that it would be possible to mount a rescue mission.

You didn't just use the jetpack to get back to the ladder?

I didn't know how to use the jetpack, and by the time I found out the ship was out of sight.

I think if you use the jetpack to break his orbit and get down to Kerbin, which might be possible? You should be able to land with him head first and he'll survive, no rescue mission involved. I may also be wrong.

*Kssh*'Houston, we have a problem,'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'What is it alpha 909er tango whatson?'*Kssh*
*kssh*'A stranded astronaut just Re-Entered the earths atmosphere, sir.'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'Well then alpha 909er tango whatson that's fine, isn't it? The rescue mission was a success!'*Kssh*
*Kssh*'That's the thing sir, he wasn't in a shuttle.'*Kssh*

That actually did happen, on an attempt to get to the Mun (in the demo, so I only have so many kinds of parts). I managed to get an encounter with the Mun, but didn't have enough fuel to make it an orbit. Being desperate to at least do something on the Mun's surface, I had my poor Kerbal go into EVA and try to use his jetpack to push the lander into orbit around the Mun. I ended up spiraling out of control and losing the lander.

HOWEVER, the Kerbal lived! Through blind luck, he somehow ended up getting an encounter with Kerbin. By jamming on the jetpack and being very lucky, he managed to land on solid ground and was completely fine. On the opposite side of the planet from the Space Center of course, but better than I've managed before or since.