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[Cowboy Colt]

Bled to death while running away from a group of zombies while wearing a motorcycle helmet and no trousers.

Oh, Mini DayZ you're so cruel 

[BlackFlyme]

"How the hell did we just lose everyone at the Allagan Manors!?"

"A black mage just used his limit break at Manors!!"

BLM must have gotten at least a dozen kills there.

PvP is fun. Incredibly hectic. Lots of death. Unfortunately none of my friends that play the game like PvP. Though we aren't all in the same Grand Company, so we wouldn't be able to join each other anyways.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Final Fantasy XIV

[IronTomato]

I HAVE PLAYED OVER 30 ONLINE MATCHES AND I'VE WON 2 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE I PLAY AGAINST HAVE THE SPEED AND REFLEXES OF FUCKING CHEETAHS. I PLAYED OFFLINE WITH LITTLE MAC UNTIL I COULD KO 3 RANDOM LEVEL 9 CPUS WITHOUT ITEMS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, BUT THEN I FIGHT ONE HUMAN AND I JUST BARELY LOST EVERY TIME. I BEAT A GUY, BUT THEN HE SWITCHED TO ZERO SUIT SAMUS AND I GOT MY ASS HANDED TO ME 10 MORE TIMES BECAUSE LITTLE MAC CAN'T STRIKE FAST ENOUGH TO HIT ZERO SUIT SAMUS BEFORE SHE HITS ME 30 TIMES,  AND I CAN'T COUNTER BECAUSE MY MOVES HAVE A DELAY WHEN I PLAY ONLINE WHICH MAKES COUNTERING THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS OF ALL. FUCK THIS. I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TORIBASH, AT LEAST I CAN WIN THAT CONSISTENTLY WHEN FIGHTING ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Super Smash Bros. 3DS

[Puzzlemaker]

Turns out using your wingsuit through a forest can have bad consequences.

Far Cry 4

[Cowboy Colt]

Turns out using your wingsuit through a forest can have bad consequences.

Far Cry 4

Shane McConkey taught you nothing, did he?

[Shadowlord]

Got killed by drowners in The Witcher 2, which is just mind-boggling. Drowners (not to mention most everything else) were effectively harmless the last time I saw them in the Witcher 1. Geralt must have gotten really out of shape, and forgotten how to fight (where'd group style go?).

[Cowboy Colt]

Got killed by drowners in The Witcher 2, which is just mind-boggling. Drowners (not to mention most everything else) were effectively harmless the last time I saw them in the Witcher 1. Geralt must have gotten really out of shape, and forgotten how to fight (where'd group style go?).

I swear everything in the Witcher seems deadly until you learn the mechanics.

[Spehss _]

I HAVE PLAYED OVER 30 ONLINE MATCHES AND I'VE WON 2 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE I PLAY AGAINST HAVE THE SPEED AND REFLEXES OF FUCKING CHEETAHS. I PLAYED OFFLINE WITH LITTLE MAC UNTIL I COULD KO 3 RANDOM LEVEL 9 CPUS WITHOUT ITEMS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, BUT THEN I FIGHT ONE HUMAN AND I JUST BARELY LOST EVERY TIME. I BEAT A GUY, BUT THEN HE SWITCHED TO ZERO SUIT SAMUS AND I GOT MY ASS HANDED TO ME 10 MORE TIMES BECAUSE LITTLE MAC CAN'T STRIKE FAST ENOUGH TO HIT ZERO SUIT SAMUS BEFORE SHE HITS ME 30 TIMES,  AND I CAN'T COUNTER BECAUSE MY MOVES HAVE A DELAY WHEN I PLAY ONLINE WHICH MAKES COUNTERING THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS OF ALL. FUCK THIS. I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TORIBASH, AT LEAST I CAN WIN THAT CONSISTENTLY WHEN FIGHTING ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Super Smash Bros. 3DS

Welcome to competitive smash, please enjoy your stay. Wavedashing to move anywhere is mandatory for membership.

(can you wavedash on 3DS?)

[IronTomato]

I HAVE PLAYED OVER 30 ONLINE MATCHES AND I'VE WON 2 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE I PLAY AGAINST HAVE THE SPEED AND REFLEXES OF FUCKING CHEETAHS. I PLAYED OFFLINE WITH LITTLE MAC UNTIL I COULD KO 3 RANDOM LEVEL 9 CPUS WITHOUT ITEMS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, BUT THEN I FIGHT ONE HUMAN AND I JUST BARELY LOST EVERY TIME. I BEAT A GUY, BUT THEN HE SWITCHED TO ZERO SUIT SAMUS AND I GOT MY ASS HANDED TO ME 10 MORE TIMES BECAUSE LITTLE MAC CAN'T STRIKE FAST ENOUGH TO HIT ZERO SUIT SAMUS BEFORE SHE HITS ME 30 TIMES,  AND I CAN'T COUNTER BECAUSE MY MOVES HAVE A DELAY WHEN I PLAY ONLINE WHICH MAKES COUNTERING THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS OF ALL. FUCK THIS. I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TORIBASH, AT LEAST I CAN WIN THAT CONSISTENTLY WHEN FIGHTING ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Super Smash Bros. 3DS

Welcome to competitive smash, please enjoy your stay. Wavedashing to move anywhere is mandatory for membership.

(can you wavedash on 3DS?)

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO IT SO I CAN'T TRY

I'VE NEVER SEEN ANYONE GO FLYING WHEN I HADN'T PUNCHED THEM, SO PROBABLY NOT

[EnigmaticHat]

I HAVE PLAYED OVER 30 ONLINE MATCHES AND I'VE WON 2 BECAUSE THE PEOPLE I PLAY AGAINST HAVE THE SPEED AND REFLEXES OF FUCKING CHEETAHS. I PLAYED OFFLINE WITH LITTLE MAC UNTIL I COULD KO 3 RANDOM LEVEL 9 CPUS WITHOUT ITEMS WITHOUT EVEN TRYING, BUT THEN I FIGHT ONE HUMAN AND I JUST BARELY LOST EVERY TIME. I BEAT A GUY, BUT THEN HE SWITCHED TO ZERO SUIT SAMUS AND I GOT MY ASS HANDED TO ME 10 MORE TIMES BECAUSE LITTLE MAC CAN'T STRIKE FAST ENOUGH TO HIT ZERO SUIT SAMUS BEFORE SHE HITS ME 30 TIMES,  AND I CAN'T COUNTER BECAUSE MY MOVES HAVE A DELAY WHEN I PLAY ONLINE WHICH MAKES COUNTERING THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE ASS OF ALL. FUCK THIS. I'M GOING TO GO PLAY TORIBASH, AT LEAST I CAN WIN THAT CONSISTENTLY WHEN FIGHTING ACTUAL PEOPLE.

Super Smash Bros. 3DS

Welcome to competitive smash, please enjoy your stay. Wavedashing to move anywhere is mandatory for membership.

(can you wavedash on 3DS?)

No, you can't.

And I wouldn't feel too bad IronTomato, the way online play with difficult games tends to work is that the worse people slowly quit until only the really good people remain.  It'll probably get even worse over time.  Play For Fun 2v2s if you want a more sane setting.

[Spehss _]

Died to a giant ant queen. Almost killed it. Keyword being "almost."

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ADOM

[Reudh]

snippity

Super Smash Bros. 3DS

Welcome to competitive smash, please enjoy your stay. Wavedashing to move anywhere is mandatory for membership.

(can you wavedash on 3DS?)

No, you can't.

And I wouldn't feel too bad IronTomato, the way online play with difficult games tends to work is that the worse people slowly quit until only the really good people remain.  It'll probably get even worse over time.  Play For Fun 2v2s if you want a more sane setting.

I'm about the same level. I can cope with 1v1 lv 9s no items final destination just fine, most of the time, and I've got a pretty decently reliable win rate in For Fun, about 55%.

Don't try For Glory until you're well and truly able to cope with For Fun.

[itisnotlogical]

The bat was carrying the White Key and apparently had no intention of dropping it, so I went to go look for the sword. I wasn't sure if you could kill the bat or not, but I definitely wanted to try. I end up in the dark maze and saw the White Key lying next to the Magnet, so the bat must have dropped the White Key and picked up something else. Okay, whatever.

I see the green dragon coming for me, so I start running away with my prize. At some point I hear the "bloololip!" sound of picking something up, but the screen's flashing and I'm in the dark maze so I can't tell. When I finally get out of the dark maze, I see what has occurred.

The bat had dropped the white key and picked up the green dragon. And I was carrying the bat.

Adventure.

[Spehss _]

A carrion crawler got a lucky hit through my defenses, paralyzed me, then slowly cherry tapped my helpless paralyzed ass to death over the course of many many turns.

Thus ends the overpowered rampage of the berserk Candleborn troll beastfighter Trog. RIP in pieces Trog, you were getting boring.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ADOM

[Aedel]

"YOU ARE AGAINST A WALL AND I AM THE WALL!"

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Payday 2. Four bulldozers at once + small room = rip.