My operation was going smoothly. I'd removed both the small and large intestines with minimal blood-loss, and so far the erratic bouncing of my ambulance had neither tossed my replacement kidneys out the back door, nor sent any massive air tanks or fire extinguishers flying into my patient's chest cavity. A few deft strokes of the scalpel, a couple of violent tugs, and both faulty kidneys were removed. Finally, the coup de grace - the replacement kidneys were placed into the chest cavity.
Except the kidneys don't just have to rest inside the chest cavity, they have to rest in the
correct spots in the chest cavity. I'd left several major organs in place, as well as the top of the ribcage protecting them, which meant I had to squish each kidney up against the existing organs. Unfortunately, the ambulance's constant movement caused the kidneys to roll lower in the patient's body, where they were almost impossible to grab on to. And even if I could grab one kidney and get it back in place, it would always roll out of position before I could grab the second kidney.
Finally, after 10 minutes of frustratingly grabbing, smacking, and shoving the kidneys, I resorted to sawing the ribcage open and ripping out the remaining organs. Unfortunately, this caused serious and rapid blood loss, and the patient died shortly thereafter.
TL;DR: Rip out half the organs in a patient's body with ease. Completely fail to drop new organs in place, patient dies when the other half of his organs are removed.
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Topic: How did you last die? (Read 2402789 times)