Playing as the Greek on Rome: Total war. Big army of mine in Corinth, with a bunch of armored hoplites and two generals, a few Spartans, and then the miscellaneous supporting troops like peltasts and milita hoplites. I spot a Brutii army, and attack it in the field with the bulk of my army, leaving behind maybe four armored hoplites, a unit of spartans, and a couple militia hoplites to defend the city. Turn before I hit the bastards, the Brutii reinforcements arrive.
Three. Full. Stack. Armies. They surround my fucking city on three sides. I crush the army and race back to support my sadly outnumbered and outmatched garrison. I reach the city, and begin the battle.
My general and his cousin race toward the north gate to slow down that army. I position my hoplites to best effect in the square (five entrances, five good units, two shitty ones) and get ready for the storm. The Romans roll in like the hammer of god. Wave after wave of these fuckers wash over the hoplites, getting beaten back by the impenetrable wall of spears. Unfortunately, this is only the first army to reach them, and most of my units were already missing troops. Eventually, I'm down to twenty spartans and perhaps a hundred other soldiers. I give the order to retreat to the square, then I see something glorious, something beautiful.
The general and his cousin singlehandedly raped an entire 1000+ man army of Brutii. My army had managed to make it to the square just as I gave the order. I ordered my men to hold, and rushed the reinforcements to the defensive positions just as the other army reached my lines, and I pulled the wounded units back behind my phalanx.
Victory was mine, motherfuckers. I just defeated over five thousand romans with maybe one point five thousand greeks. I look at the general (For narrative purposes, I wasn't micromanaging this guy like nobody's business.
) and realize the Brutii army he'd been dominating was reforming, and he'd been sitting pretty still for it. He gets hit by the enemy general and two units of roman cavalry. His cousin rushes to save him, but the unit is annihilated by the charge, the general dying.
Oh... The rage. Cold and crystal clear. I pulled the cousin back, and let the romans batter themselves into retreat.
Awesome badass general lost, but the city saved in the nick of time.
I proceeded on an extermination campaign of the romans, even going so far as to sign peace treaties with the People of Pontus (God I hate them so much) and the remnants of the Macedonian Empire so I could focus my forces on the Italian peninsula. I save Tarentum for last, and burn it to the ground. Gods damned Brutii.
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Topic: How did you last die? (Read 2371230 times)