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[Sirus]

Trying to figure out exactly what it takes to destroy a Swarm, especially one just one jump from my homeworld. Sent in the biggest fleet I've built yet, almost a dozen cruisers and slightly less that of start-game destroyers, plus a couple of CnC destroyers. For some reason, the game puts my ships with the rear facing the hive, and they immediately get swarmed. Despite the order I put fleet reinforcements in, the game kept throwing in the backup CnCs... which immediately got swarmed and destroyed. Managed to blow up the hive, but the queen(?) looked like it slipped away, and the remaining cruisers got mobbed by the rest of the swarm because for all their impressive dakka(mass drivers and dumbfire missiles galore), they can't hit shit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Sword of the Stars. *sigh* It'll take several turns to research Bursters for some flakdakka.

Yeah, don't go fighting swarm without point-defense weapons, preferably using a dedicated PD ship or two. Even red laser PD will be more effective than anything else at killing the smaller bugs.

If you don't have PD, emitters are supposedly pretty good against the smaller bugs due to their chaining effect.

As for attacking the Queen itself, click the queen's head to have your ships target it. Blowing the Queen's head off will remove her most powerful weapons.

[Silverthrone]

Piloting a Su-25T can be a rather tricky affair, it turns out. It likely did not help that I was drunk.

It and I are now smeared across a field in Chechnya.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I caved in, and gave the free DCS World flight simulator thing a go. I rather like it. It will be a while before I can be trusted to fly a kite, but it is one of those ridiculously detailed game that you want to learn.

[hector13]

The fucking Orient Express.

I spent the first half of the time limit in a game called Railroad Tycoon not actually building railroads because there's no way they're making enough money to actually fund your way from Vienna to Istanbul.

Still have no idea how the piss I'm expected to get the gold for this one.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Railroad Tycoon 3

[Sirus]

Overestimated how much damage Mozu could take, even when paired up with Effie. She survived two battles and counterkilled her attackers, but the third enemy killed her.

Fire Emblem: Conquest.

[Arx]

The oracle opened the door, and Temurdai stepped through with weapons drawn, flanked by the grotesquely misshapen alchemist and followed by the oracle. Across the room from him a decaying, four-armed humanoid began to scream and spit curses, brandishing a sword in each hand. He cautiously circled it as the oracle closed distance, keeping it at a spear's length.

As it moved on the oracle, he dashed across the room, effortlessly tumbling past the unliving beast's swipes and coming up spitting mad and slashing, blade sparking on blades. Covering fire began peppering the beast from the archer and musketeer, as the oracle chanted and Temurdai began to grow.

The undead turned on him, attacking with the strength of the unnatural. Temurdai turned the first strike aside, but the second tore into an old wound, the third split his arm from shoulder to elbow, and the last cut his legs from under him. He fell, bleeding and unconscious.

In moments, the oracle was forced to withdraw. The musketeer's gun failed, and the alchemist was forced to take a risk. He threw a bomb at the creature, but it flew wide - landing bare inches from Temurdai's unconscious form. The blast took his torso.


Pathfinder. RIPepperonis my barbarian, thought I'd write up the mild comedy of errors that can cause a 2nd-level barbarian to die in two or three turns. 4d6+6 is some grown man damage.

[Akura]

A general failure. Spent several minutes attempting to patch several(read: all) of the structural struts throughout the ship because blast-door blocks(which the frame is made of) are not airtight along any facing(even though two sides are fully solid). This took a while because it's a massive ship. Then I discover the patch was useless for two reasons. One, the inner hull is already sealed against the structural layer, and two, the problem was caused by a single hangar-door block in the missile launcher not being part of the control group as the rest of the door. As a result, the door didn't close, and I haven't sectioned off every part of the ship as I was only testing for airtightness of the inner hull as a whole(it is).

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Space Engineers. Also, I didn't apply enough of a patch, as some blast-door blocks were still exposed to space.

[Silverthrone]

I can now fly my Su-25 in a straight line to a satisfying degree. The on-board navigation waypoint system continues to elude me, however. It seems to lead me astray on purpose. I think that I shall give in one day, and follow the little green circle whereever it intends to take us, which is no doubt to my doom.

I am doing less well with my weapon systems, however. For a lark, I loaded up a difficult mission where I am meant to destroy enemy AA vehicles with anti-radar missiles (that I still do not know how to use).

*Beep! Beep!*
"Why, that beeping sounds worrying."
*Beep beep beep beep!*
"And so do those smoke trails. What is the chaff button again?"
*BEEPBEEPBEEP*

Most of me landed in someone's back garden, this time.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

DCS World.

[AzyWng]

Lost to a pretty asshole three times before finally beating him.

Then lost to a crazy chef asshole several times before giving the fuck up.

I'm no good with boxing games, it seems.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Patobox Demo.

[Greiger]

Lightning Stake vs Power attacking greatsword means everyone loses.

Dark souls 3, undead match. (I did not know matches could end in a draw)

[Yottawhat]

Jumped repeatedly on to spikes. I wasn't even a hard jump but it took at least 3 tries to get over it.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Cave Story+

[AzyWng]

Failed at least 4 or 5 rushes in a row. At the very beginning of a new vault.

This is why I hate percent chances in video games.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Fallout Shelter

[SOLDIER First]

I must have invaded, like, thirty separate times over several hours and died so. Many. Times. I succeeded, as in the host died, three times, bringing me to four shackles. One of those successes was by my own hand: A one-on-one duel, which is a fucking miracle when invading, that I won by the skin of my teeth. The second 'win' was after invading the same three guys doing a silly swamp-men thing three times in only a few minutes. They dropped 99 embers for me and then suicided (I messaged them on Steam and they kept up the act still. Points for that). The third win was a big clusterfuck of the host, a summon, me, those two Exiles right before Farron Keep proper, and a Watchdog who landed the last hit but still granted me my precious shackle.

Every other invasion was me getting ganked, or another clusterfuck I didn't live to see the end of, or Black Crystal-ing because they popped a Seed, and fuck trying to handle that in Crucifixion Woods. During the latter type I had had a duel across the woods with a summon and in the middle of it the host, who at this point was content with letting us duel, decided to use a Seed. Like, why? How does that benefit you? I just want my fucking Bloodlust, man. Please.

Dark Souls Fuck Invading 3

[Draignean]

I must have invaded, like, thirty separate times over several hours and died so. Many. Times. I succeeded, as in the host died, three times, bringing me to four shackles. One of those successes was by my own hand: A one-on-one duel, which is a fucking miracle when invading, that I won by the skin of my teeth. The second 'win' was after invading the same three guys doing a silly swamp-men thing three times in only a few minutes. They dropped 99 embers for me and then suicided (I messaged them on Steam and they kept up the act still. Points for that). The third win was a big clusterfuck of the host, a summon, me, those two Exiles right before Farron Keep proper, and a Watchdog who landed the last hit but still granted me my precious shackle.

Every other invasion was me getting ganked, or another clusterfuck I didn't live to see the end of, or Black Crystal-ing because they popped a Seed, and fuck trying to handle that in Crucifixion Woods. During the latter type I had had a duel across the woods with a summon and in the middle of it the host, who at this point was content with letting us duel, decided to use a Seed. Like, why? How does that benefit you? I just want my fucking Bloodlust, man. Please.

Dark Souls Fuck Invading 3

Why are you using the Black Crystal when they drop the Seed? The Seed is a fucking gift. Go find the biggest, nastiest mobs you can, and drag them all back to the host. Know the land. If they drop a Seed, check to see if they've killed the Exile and his buddy, if not then you've got all the 'allies' you'll ever need.  Otherwise, go find a couple red blokes and bring them with you. Aggro the entire population of the lower tower.

The Seed doesn't protect the host, it just makes it so you can bring every piece of hell on the map straight to them. I love people who use giant seeds, they make my bloody day.

If you like dueling, you can often (20% of the time, or close enough) invite people into successive one-on-one fights against their phantoms and finally the host if you're careful about your bows and show them an estus chug in the beginning.

If you want, I'll help you farm shackles.

[Devstorm]

The Black Plague. I was among the first to rot.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Reigns

[SOLDIER First]

Because I have enough trouble with two enemies, I don't want to handle 30+ while running around.