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[IronTomato]

I just used up every red eye orb I had. Every single one lead me to an area where the host had like three phantoms protecting them. Oh, and nobody bows anymore. Every time I bowed people either ran away to try and bait me into an ambush (IronTomato is not falling for that crap) or just blew me up with fireballs while I was busy doing it because being a poor sport is all the rage these days.

Dark Souls 3.

[SOLDIER First]

If they were different people, bad luck.

If it was the same people, they probably used a dried finger or whatever it's called, and were a gank squad with no care for others. I'm sorry.

[Akura]

Guts got nommed on by a walker.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Walking Dead, Season 1, Episode 3. Missed the "grab" command for the weapon, hit "look", which takes time for the walkers to get you.

[IronTomato]

(Holy shit this turned into a wall of text)

Yeah, I waited for a while for someone to invade me while I was killing enemies in the Undead Settlement. He wore a weird hat and an Exile Greatsword. I emerged from the house near the beginning with the fire pit and the 20 million Workers idling just outside, and used Jump For Joy to call him over to me. I could have thrown lightning bolts at him, but I didn't care. I was ready to have fun and have my first real fight.

He walked over to me, becoming more cautious as he got closer. I jumped at him and swung at him with my axe, causing him to dodge away. While I remained in place, he swung wildly at me wielding his two-hander one-handed like a retard. I backstepped away, and then stepped back in and smacked him with my axe. I continued pursuing him, attempting to hit him, usually succeeding as he made no effort to exploit his clearly superior reach, and never using his spinning attack or the super armor which I'm assuming his greatsword probably gave him. I ended up winning without taking damage.

The next fight was even worse due to the fact that it was basically the exact opposite. I was in the swamp, engaged in mortal combat with a giant enemy crab, attempting to find his weakpoint. I was invaded by a dark spirit, but I was determined to kill the GEC first so it wouldn't kill me while I was fighting the guy. Just as it was about to run out of health, a huge rain of magic pelted me from offscreen, killing me while I was at almost full health.

I used an ember. The same guy invaded almost immediately. This time, I sprawled out on the ground and waited for him to come to me. I was essentially holding my hands in the air, trusting him to find me and challenge me to an honest fight. Naturally, he did find me, although he didn't so much as hesitate to rush me and attempt to kill me as I lay on the ground defenseless. I was luckily able to roll out of the way just in time. He was weilding what looked like a mini-scythe in one hand, and a staff in the other which he immediately used to spam soul darts. I dodged them and hit him with my axe (truly a groundbreaking tactic, I know) hoping to stunlock him and hold him still. My strikes did pathetic damage. Just after my third hit or so, he seemed to magically become un-stunned, and instantly prepared an attack with his mini-pick-thing which met my face sooner than my axe had moved an inch from where it was before. It did nearly a third of my health. And then he hit me again. And again. And again. And I died.

This happened a good 10 more times over the next 10 minutes or so. I then decided to leave the area, and come back over an hour later. He immediately invaded me again. I couldn't win. His weird weapon somehow was able to damage me many times more than my lightning imbued axe (which has an attack power of over 400 and is a one-hander) he had so much more health than me that no amount of damage I ever did to him was significant (My health is already like 1000) and so much magic that he could endlessly spam sorceries as soon as I walked more than 3 feet away from him. I gave up, extending a goodbye to him by extending my middle finger.

Later, as I was in front of the area of the Abyss Watchers, I decided to invade someone again since I got several red eyes from those stupid knights who drop them. Lo and behold, there was the same exact guy, acting as a white phantom for the host of my victim. And he was facing away from me. I decided to give him a taste of his own medicine, running behind him for surprise buttsecks while he was in the middle of fighting. My riposte drained his health by about a quarter.

As he stood up, his health just fucking came back. He didn't even use estus, it just rose back up as if he was wolverine. I backstepped away from his attack, and then furiously wailed on him to the same result. Panicked, I dodged away from him, accidentally becoming stuck between a tree, a wall, and the host herself. Determined to take advantage of my horrible misfortune, they both descended on me as I rolled in place.

And then all was still.

Dark Souls 3

Maybe I should do a normal run in online mode instead of waiting until NG+ to play online. I don't know if that would actually help, though, since I have no clue how the matchmaking works.

[Greiger]

Ok there is one map tile of terrifying wilderness on a 5x4 embark.   What are the chances of getting attacked by zombie wildlife before I have a military prepared?

Pretty good actually.

Dwarf Fortress.  Giant Warthog Corpses are harsh.

[AzyWng]

Turns out when I play this game I stop blinking. Not good for my eyes, that.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Clustertruck. Was seriously wondering why my eyes hurt while playing; was going to blame it on the bright visuals until I realized I just wasn't blinking outright, for minutes on end. Dunno how long for; maybe a half hour of no blinking at some points?

Maybe you should talk with your doctor? I've never had anything as bad as eyes not blinking.

Usually I just forget to keep my mouth closed and I look like a pervert due to drooling.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

Flew to Disneyland, survived a couple days, but caught a virus that laid me out in bed for a week after returning home.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

real life

[Shadowlord]

I've never played dark souls 3. Do you think he was cheating/hacking, IronTomato?

[SOLDIER First]

Probably not.

[SeriousConcentrate]

He was cheating. Even with a bunch of buffs (there's a couple of miracles, a particular weapon infusion that can stack by having it on a weapon in each hand, and I think a ring) there's no way anyone's health can regen that fast. If he's playing on PC, that certainly clenches it as fighting some CE script kiddie.

Honestly, if you want to PvP, just go back to Dark Souls 2. Dark Souls 3 is utterly unbalanced in favor of the host, and I say that as someone who does not like PvP and doesn't engage in it. Estus-chugging is unpunishable (you can't even use a Lloyd's Talisman to shut down estus anymore; my brother has a video on his Ps4 of him doing that to a host and the guy literally rolling about 25 times in a row until the debuff ran out and then chugging immediately because rolling doesn't take stamina anymore), the host's phantoms can chug, the invader has 30% less health for no real reason, R2s can't stunlock, there's no quick way to guardbreak so hosts can just turtle while their three phantoms beat on you, and they can just hide and summon all day.

That and there's literally only one (1) PvE build, and only one (1) PvP build: PvE is 40/40 Dex/Str straightsword, preferably Kirk's sword with a Hollow infusion because it has built-in bleed and Hollow makes that more powerful. PvP is git gud at parrying, put on the Hornet Ring, and find a weapon that can one-shot the enemy on a riposte because otherwise you're not going to win.

[Tiruin]

(Holy shit this turned into a wall of text)

Duuuuude, I enjoyed reading that. So smooth and easy to imagine :3
Also as an aside I ARGH at probably never being able to ever have internets that can even hold a stable multiplayer anything. :I

The game is Endless Legend (on share from a buddy over steam, and HNNGGGG I LOVE THIS GAME SO MUCH but lack the monies to buy it :I It's one of the few-...It's one game I would love to have given the months of how long I recall I liked games o_O Maybe I'm just tired and it's this kindling my liking these things, but it still makes me ♥ it.)

This is one reason why tutorials or manuals are nice to read. ...I didn't understand how initiative worked in battle, and thus had my hero and other starting army being ded against DEEEMONS because Archery != Flying counter. Given that 1 initiative makes them go first, fly up to me, and then wipe my forces off in melee.

It's not the battle that made me die, it's my 'not reading the modifiers I picked in the custom race'. I picked -30% to health, because I figured 'hey I'm going all ranged, it won't hurt that much'. As there was no note of initiative bonus or otherwise, my defense stat didn't make much use if all it was protecting was squishy spacefaring-stranded-tech-crossbowwomen. Gahh.

They would've won if but for 30% of life more.

[SOLDIER First]

For gankers:

Sellsword Twinblades.
Darkmoon Blade.
Profit.

[IronTomato]

I'm not sure I care all that much about it being harder for the invaders in Dark Souls 3. After all, if you want to have a real fight with someone you can always either use red summon signs or just wait for someone who isn't a dumbass to invade you, preferably the former, except I haven't actually come across any red summon signs yet and I have no clue how to find the red soapstone. If you just barge into someone's game suddenly to try and kill them without permission, it kind of makes sense that it would usually be difficult to win.

Either way, the only reason that I can see why it would be hard for most invaders is because in DS2 people used summons somewhat sparingly and now everyone is always in the Way of the Blue and has a perpetual sunbro following them.

[IronTomato]

Yeah, sorry for doublepost, but it doesn't really have anything to do with the last one so I guess it gets a new one.

Yesterday, when I tried the PVP for the first time it was a somewhat shitty experience, but when I tried it again today it was actually really funny and good.

I went and got the smooth red eye orb, and tested it out in the poison swamp just before the Abyss Watchers where there are all those weird slugs. Fairly quickly, surprisingly, I got summonned as a dark spirit. I impatiently fatrolled around in the deep areas, searching for the person / people who I would be accosting, and realized that I was probably looking like an idiot as I turned to the right and saw the host, a white phantom, and a Warrior of Sunlight waiting patiently by the area entrance. Embarassed, I paused for a moment, and bowed. To my pleasant surprise, they all bowed back, marking the first time anyone else returned my attempts at friendly gestures in this game. The Warrior of Sunlight, who wielded a Zeihander AKA The Bass Cannon, began to approach me. I figured they had some sort of routine set up where they would fight invaders one at a time, so I began attempting to engage him. I immediately began to regret this, as I recklessly left myself open to the other two, who diced me into ribbons in record time. I wasn't sure if it had been their plan to do this the whole time, but I couldn't be angry at them since it was kind of my fault for being a stupid. Bravo, you bastards.

Then I went back into the swamp with all the crabs again, and when I arrived at my victim's area I witnessed complete chaos. A Giant Seed had already been used, so the giant crabs were already attacking me, as well as the host, another red phantom, a Darkmoon whatever, and to top it all off, a Watchdog of Farron invaded shortly after me. Completely confused and not sure what to do, I began defending myself from crabs. The host, wearing armor which made him look fat and using an exile greatsword, also began to attack me. I threw lightning at him to demonstrate my range advantage and establish dominance, but it didn't really matter in the end since he was attacked by crabs and I, for some reason, was attacked by the other dark phantom. After a brief tussle, I killed the dark phantom and a giant crab, and finished off the Darkmoon guy with a lightning bolt, and was greeted with silence. I turned around to see the Watchdog hiding behind a tree, with the host innocently standing next to him, even though he had attacked me before. I jumped for joy, in celebration of our victory, as if we weren't all supposed to be on different sides. We spun in circles, yelled at each other, and killed more crabs together, effectively becoming a group of three unlikely jolly cooperators. Then another Darkmoon blade arrived "by concord" presumably to protect the host since I don't actually know what they do. She immediately attacked and killed poor old me, ruining the fun. The host bowed mournfully as I died on the ground, slightly grumpy.

Dark Souls 3

[itisnotlogical]

Note to self: If a player five times your size is making a peace offering, be suspicious and turn the other way.

Agar.io.