So, here I am, making a perfectly legitimate fortress in a nice, peaceful... sinister volcano area. Suddenly, a huge wave of vultures comes and steals almost all of my food! "What will I do about this?" I think, utilizing the awesome power of quotation marks to allow me to be lazy and not use italic tags. "That's it! I will build a roof over the little hut where my food is stored! Excellent!"
And so, work begins. However, before this can be finished, yet
another (that's right, bold!) wave of Vultures comes flying in, accompanied by the signature major lagspike as they path through and try to find a way in. So, I order my military into the fortress, and the battle begins. It is a great battle, and many great dwarves lose... I dunno... a couple of hours of their day. But not their lives! However, one of the little bastards escapes, flying around. I'm looking around in the open space to find him, finally realizing that it'd be a better idea to check with the unit menu. What do I see?
Vulture Wild Animal (Caged)
What luck! It had flown into the one cage trap I had bothered to rig up! So, given that it was a volcano, I quickly rigged up something to
set an example for all future vultures.
(The notes are for my friends, who are not DF players.)
So, laughing maniacally like the movie villain/dwarf abomination that I now was, I ordered the bridge to be destroyed. But, every time, the dwarf would try to tunnel through from the wrong side! Thinking quickly, I ordered some people to channel the stuff off of the bridge; perhaps breaking that support would knock it out. Proud of my impending victory, I went off to see what dwarves were going to mine it... Unfortunately, a sudden freeze made me miss some of the action. However, through the unit list, I viewed that the vulture had, indeed, perished. What I didn't expect, on the other hand, was...
We honor your sacrifice, Urist McMiner. Die knowing only that your wife does not have to see your final moments, screaming hopelessly in pain as the magma enters your lungs and melting you from the inside out as fire imps begin to feast upon your bones.