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[Nikov]

I don't think he needs relationship advice so much as post-relationship advice. And I really don't think he needs a lecture on how all women aren't evil. He knows that, everyone knows that, we've all got mothers, its not relevant to the discussion.

My S.O.P. of cutting down deadstand timber is offered here as well. Also stop following her on Facebook, you're just pouring vinegar on the wound. I recommend your next relationship be one with as little sex and as much honest fun as possible. Find a girl who considers herself more a gatekeeper to paradise than the ticket vendor at an amusement park.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

I doubt it's anything more than a claim made out of bitterness, while he was actualy hurt by someone. I've said to people before that women were evil after having a woman do somthing unpleasent to me, but I certainly didn't mean it literally, I was just really frigging angry and wanted to vent said anger.

And to be entirely honest, I am very, very tired of people thinking it's somehow acceptable to lump women into a giant whole of flaky, stupid, whorish, psychotic wretches, even though you're slightly angry.  Sure, you're angry at one woman.  It just seems a bit... sad.  I see comments like this and it's a bit of the slap in the face, you know?  Does he trust B12 with his hateful language because there's very little probability of a woman coming by to tell him to cut it out... or what?  Does it make him a bigger person, the more people he can condemn for the hurt levied on him by one individual?

Are you seriously trying to defend this blanket statement?

Am I trying to defend his statement as correct? No. I'm trying to say that I don't think he seriously hates all women, and is just raging to a stereotype because his girlfriend cheated on him. No one is perfect. He shouldn't make claims like that, and neither should have I, but the fact of the matter is that none of us are without serious flaws. In my experiance, it's a simple matter to become angry at one person in a group, and then have your anger multiplied tenfold because they made you angry through acting like a stereotype of their group. With women, if a woman does act like the stereotype of  a

flaky, stupid, whorish, psychotic wretch

to me, then that gets even more enraging as whatever action gained my ire would normaly. I don't know why, seeing people act out a negitive stereotype just does that to me. A Berserk Button, I suppose. He's likely raging to us because this is over the internet, where it's far more impersonal and he doesn't have to care if we don't like his inner feelings on the matter.

[G-Flex]

Seriously though, he gave her the money. She can spend it as fast as she wants, on whatever she wants. Complaining that she did so is just silly.

I understand the point, but I disagree. Completely wasting it within a day or two indicates that she isn't responsible with it at all, and also possibly that she doesn't appreciate it enough to give its use any thought. That's speculation, obviously, but it's plausible.



Vector:

I think MSH is just trying to say that the statement against women was out of anger/bitterness and that he didn't really mean it. That being said, it's indicative of a disturbing tendency for people to paint with broad strokes; even if he didn't mean it, it's how he felt at the time, and what does that say for how he's being conditioned to feel/think about women?

[Vector]

And I really don't think he needs a lecture on how all women aren't evil.

Not lecturing him about the meaning, just sick and tired of sexist comments thrown out here like they're chump change.  Sorry to dampen your day.

He shouldn't make claims like that, and neither should have I, but the fact of the matter is that none of us are without serious flaws. In my experiance, it's a simple matter to become angry at one person in a group, and then have your anger multiplied tenfold because they made you angry through acting like a stereotype of their group.

Yup.  It's easy, and we all have flaws.  As such, we should obviously get off of his back for his hateful language, rather than politely suggesting that he might be going a bit overboard.

I think MSH is just trying to say that the statement against women was out of anger/bitterness and that he didn't really mean it. That being said, it's indicative of a disturbing tendency for people to paint with broad strokes; even if he didn't mean it, it's how he felt at the time, and what does that say for how he's being conditioned to feel/think about women?

I know he doesn't mean it.

That said, as I keep on saying, I am really tired of people thinking that for some reason this is acceptable.  Look: I don't care if it's men, women, retarded people, Christians, atheists, rednecks, hippies, liberal arts majors, or duck-enthusiasts.  I am sick of hearing this bullshit everywhere, only to be swept under the rug because "oh, he didn't mean it.  He was just angry."

Yeah.  Well, I'm getting pretty pissed, myself.  What makes this okay?  Why should it be fine for this to happen?  Would you feel the same way if he showed up and wrote "I hate all gay people, not because I'm a repressed homosexual or something, but just because they piss me off to the utmost extreme?"  How would you feel if he put in "black people" or "Asians?"

But it's fine here, huh?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

It's fine, and would in fact be fine with any other group, because this is momentary anger. He won't stay like this for the rest of his life. He isn't going to form a Ant-Woman Party and try to run for office, he isn't even going to go all WBC on us and go to the streets yelling "God Hates Women!".

This is just a momentary and short-sighted reaction to a slight commited against him, and while it isn't right, it's no reason to immediately jump on the condemnation train.

[Vector]

This is just a momentary and short-sighted reaction to a slight commited against him, and while it isn't right, it's no reason to immediately jump on the condemnation train.

Anyway, I hate women. Not in the "Ima go gai, kk?" kind of way, but in the way that they piss me off to the utmost extreme.

... I'm sorry that women have invoked your ire, but this is kind of inappropriate, don't you think?

Seems mean-spirited to say that he hates all women, too.  The fact that an injury has been done to him does not give him the right to levy an injury against others.

Okay.  Look, I'm sorry.  I'm getting kind of angry because it seems like every relationship thread I run into here is full of objectification and just general ... crap.  I don't condemn the OP.  I don't dislike him.  I am just tired of the way people are treating each other here.  I'm tired of the "funny" lolsexism and "haha, you seriously wouldn't let her do X--she's a woman!" comments I hear in my daily life.  Sick of it.  Disgusted.

And no, this probably isn't the right place to unload this, for which I am very sorry.

[Ø]

Okay.  Look, I'm sorry.  I'm getting kind of angry because it seems like every relationship thread I run into here is full of objectification and just general ... crap.  I don't condemn the OP.  I don't dislike him.  I am just tired of the way people are treating each other here.  I'm tired of the "funny" lolsexism and "haha, you seriously wouldn't let her do X--she's a woman!" comments I hear in my daily life.  Sick of it.  Disgusted.

I don't care if you make basement dwelling neck-beard male-targeting jokes about me. If there was a women majority here, you'd see more anti-male stereotyping. Feel free to even it out if you can keep it in joke format. It's the internet. Even 'nigger' is funny if he stole my bike.

I think the OP learned a valuable lesson on how to spot someone that's just using him. Live and learn.

[Vector]

Feel free to even it out if you can keep it in joke format.

Then I hope the OP modifies his post to include (lol) after saying that he hates all women.  Because then I'll be a lot more prone to laughter.

[G-Flex]

That said, as I keep on saying, I am really tired of people thinking that for some reason this is acceptable.  Look: I don't care if it's men, women, retarded people, Christians, atheists, rednecks, hippies, liberal arts majors, or duck-enthusiasts.  I am sick of hearing this bullshit everywhere, only to be swept under the rug because "oh, he didn't mean it.  He was just angry."

Yeah.  Well, I'm getting pretty pissed, myself.  What makes this okay?  Why should it be fine for this to happen?  Would you feel the same way if he showed up and wrote "I hate all gay people, not because I'm a repressed homosexual or something, but just because they piss me off to the utmost extreme?"  How would you feel if he put in "black people" or "Asians?"

But it's fine here, huh?

I know you weren't really replying to me in particular here, but I definitely agree. It's stupid, harmful, and is indicative of problems with how society operates/teaches people to operate. It's not acceptable, and we're right to say so.

Okay.  Look, I'm sorry.  I'm getting kind of angry because it seems like every relationship thread I run into here is full of objectification and just general ... crap.  I don't condemn the OP.  I don't dislike him.  I am just tired of the way people are treating each other here.  I'm tired of the "funny" lolsexism and "haha, you seriously wouldn't let her do X--she's a woman!" comments I hear in my daily life.  Sick of it.  Disgusted.

And no, this probably isn't the right place to unload this, for which I am very sorry.

You're on an Internet forum largely composed of adolescent boys with varying degrees and types of geekishness. That sort of demographic on the Internet seems to think that misogyny is hilarious comedy fodder to begin with sometimes, and it doesn't really help that Life Advice is full of trolling and idiotic joke-posting. Obviously, none of this is a good thing, but I'm not the least bit surprised by any of it. Of course, the fact that it's predictable enough to expect tends to make it even more frustrating.

I don't think it's a bad idea to have brought it up here, since that's really all you can do: Bring it up when it's relevant and make it clear that it's harmful.

Of course, I don't think this thread is the best example of it, either, but even just the single frustrated comment about "women" is sort of groan-inducing in light of its precedents.

I don't care if you make basement dwelling neck-beard male-targeting jokes about me. If there was a women majority here, you'd see more anti-male stereotyping. Feel free to even it out if you can keep it in joke format. It's the internet. Even 'nigger' is funny if he stole my bike.

I think the OP learned a valuable lesson on how to spot someone that's just using him. Live and learn.

It wasn't "male-targeting". It was sexism-targeting. She's already stated that she knows it would be just as bad if a woman were doing it regarding men.

Even 'nigger' is funny if he stole my bike.

Quoting this again with emphasis. First off, this isn't even relevant: The statement in this thread wasn't even meant as a joke. This isn't an example of someone making a tasteless joke, it's an example of someone painting with broad strokes because he's frustrated with a particular person (or people).

It's also kind of annoying how a lot of the Internet has this quasi-hipster "ironic" bullshit attitude towards things like sexism, racism, and homophobia, where they'll constantly say and think rather hideous things about those subjects, but mask over it with "I'm just joking around" -- to some of these people, I don't think there's a difference between "joking" and sincerity anymore. Not that I'm condemning the very concept of a tasteless joke, but there are trends surrounding them on the Internet that are, quite frankly, disturbing, and say more about some people than they'd let on.

[Footkerchief]

And I really don't think he needs a lecture on how all women aren't evil. He knows that, everyone knows that, we've all got mothers, its not relevant to the discussion.

"I hate women" is the third sentence in the OP; of course it's relevant.  Also please show me a sexist that doesn't have a mother.

I'm in complete agreement with Vector and G-Flex that if you express your "momentary anger" in bigoted terms, you've definitely got some underlying issues.  That shit doesn't just come out of nowhere.

[Ø]

First off, this isn't even relevant: The statement in this thread wasn't even meant as a joke.

Not regarding what the OP said. How she should react to it. If she can at least use "a quasi-hipster "ironic" bullshit attitude", it's more or less an acceptable means. It's still tasteless yeah.

I'm in complete agreement with Vector and G-Flex that if you express your "momentary anger" in bigoted terms, you've definitely got some underlying issues.  That shit doesn't just come out of nowhere.

"Momentary anger" tends to make people lean towards bigoted things. If he did it every day in all seriousness, then he has some serious underlying issues, but for what happened to him I'm really not surprised. In fact, if he didn't, I'd be surprised.

[Vector]

How she should react to it.

Sorry.  I'm not just going to lie down when people act this way.  It might be more pleasant for everyone involved if I did, but fuck it: it isn't right.  Many apologies for my offensive attitude, blah blah blah.

"Momentary anger" tends to make people lean towards bigoted things. If he did it every day in all seriousness, then he has some serious underlying issues, but for what happened to him I'm really not surprised. In fact, if he didn't, I'd be surprised.

Let's all embrace temporary, casual bigotry in our daily lives as an alternative to growing the stones to stay calm under pressure.  Because immaturity will lead us to a more peaceful, egalitarian world.

[Mysteriousbluepuppet]

Actually. if all the women he had in his life caused problems like this one, i could understand that he would get that kind of feeling, especially when he is at the bottom of the curve. Pretty easy to have conflicting emotions when long term relationship goes to hell, and after a string of unlucky and paifnfull relationship.  Frankly , broads strokes happen when you are emotive and conflicted with this kind of thing.

[Vector]

Actually. if all the women he had in his life caused problems like this one, i could understand that he would get that kind of feeling, especially when he is at the bottom of the curve. Pretty easy to have conflicting emotions when long term relationship goes to hell, and after a string of unlucky and paifnfull relationship.  Frankly , broads strokes happen when you are emotive and conflicted with this kind of thing.

Just because there are justifications and excuses does not make it right.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

How she should react to it.

Sorry.  I'm not just going to lie down when people act this way.  It might be more pleasant for everyone involved if I did, but fuck it: it isn't right.  Many apologies for my offensive attitude, blah blah blah.

You shouldn't apologize for defending your position. By all means, argue for what you think is right.