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[Rex_Nex]

Agh. Just need a outlet for all of this, and B12 is the only forum I trust (In before: AHAHA U TRUST US?!!?) with stuff like this.

Anyway, I hate women. Not in the "Ima go gai, kk?" kind of way, but in the way that they piss me off to the utmost extreme. Every single relationship I've had has been screwed over by the girl. I'm not trying to point fingers or anything, in fact, I want to know what I'm doing wrong. Any way, on to explaining.

I was dating this girl for about 7 months straight. She is completely adorable and she knows it, and maybe I got blinded by it. Anyway, I treated her with a lot of respect, I'd take her out on dates to movies and to the fair and stuff, I'd buy her roses and chocolates, hell, once I just gave her a few hundred dollars cash because of how great I thought she was (Big mistake, if you're wondering, it was gone by the next day.).

Figured out that she was cheating on me a few months later. I was peeping at her facebook to see one of my friend's comments that I oddly couldn't reach through my profile. I got a little curious and checked her private messages, and that's when I saw that she had been telling some other guy that she loved him.

Anyway, we talked about it, she told me she was so sorry, she was in tears and everything. She promised me it wouldn't happen again, and I forgave her. I mean, after all, she was just saying "I love you <3" to another guy. Not a big deal, right? Wrong. Just a week ago, I checked her facebook again, and this time she was admitting to the same guy that she had gotten sexual with YET ANOTHER GUY, and wanted to be with him more.

Of course, I dumped her. I really, honestly loved her, but I guess one guy just wasn't enough. Every time I go on facebook now, I cant help but go on her profile and read about all these guys she liked when we were together. It makes me seriously depressed, but I can't help looking.

This is just something I don't need. I've been diagnosed with Severe Depression before, and took a clusterfuck of meds for that. It feels like it's finally coming back.

[Makrond]

So you were cheated on and now you hate all women everywhere because one girl happened to not be satisfied with a monogamous relationship?

[G-Flex]

Your problem isn't women, it's people. Being screwed up isn't unique to one gender, but your bad experiences are generally just with the one due to the fact that you're heterosexual. But hey, don't let logic get in the way of you being a misogynistic child if you don't want it to.


Lots of people of both genders have a bad habit of getting involved with nasty people. I hate to blame the victim, but maybe you're one of them, and just aren't exactly picking winners. That, or maybe you aren't as blameless as you think (although obviously you can't really be blamed for someone straight-up cheating on you).

So you were cheated on and now you hate all women everywhere because one girl happened to not be satisfied with a monogamous relationship?

If you aren't satisfied with a monogamous relationship, the solution isn't cheating on them. It's actually, you know, telling them, and breaking it off.

[Rex_Nex]

As I've said, this is not my first time getting screwed over. Got cheated on in almost all of my relationships thus far, actually.

And I know I am not blameless. There's things I could have done better. Lots. But the whole time during this relationship, my closest friends were telling me to "dump her right away, she will just cheat on you.". At the time, that sounded completely dumb, I hadn't even given her a chance yet. But now... well I wouldn't date her again if I had the choice. Not because I think she is a bad person, but because I know it will just end in me being hurt.

And yes, of course "women" are not the ones to blame. I'm sure there is plenty of good and bad women, as well as men. But everything is just starting to feel pointless. All relationships hurt at one time or another, and that's just a fact of life. I guess I just have to answer the question "Is it worth it?". I can't just give up on dating, one of the most important things in life for me is knowing that someone cares about me. But... that also makes it hurt ten fold when I find out its just a lie. I'm not sure what to do.

[mnjiman]

Don't be easy all the time, do not search for love as much as you seem to be.
Live your life and go with the flow. Im not sure how old you are, but i assume your in high school atm.

[G-Flex]

As I've said, this is not my first time getting screwed over. Got cheated on in almost all of my relationships thus far, actually.

How many is "all"? If it's a significant number, then I'd say you've established a pattern you need to get out of, one way or another. Maybe it's where you're meeting them, or the kind of girls you're meeting, or something else, I don't know. Hell, maybe you're just unlucky.

[V-Norrec]

I can say something like that has happened to me before, but I'm in a much better, monogamous, relationship now and were engaged to be married.  I got lucky and my fiance is the second person I ever went out with, but I can say with experience that the people you let closest to you can most effectively break you, in all senses of the word.

Really, I think your problem is you're getting too close too fast.  Don't be afraid to take your time, I'm not saying act like you don't care about the person mind you, but don't jump in with gusto in the first seven months like "She is the only one for me."  Anybody can act nice for a time, but over time their true selves will start to be revealed.  I know it's hard especially the younger you are, but really the best advice is slow, steady growth as the two of you learn to love each other, or decide to part your separate ways.

[Nikov]

So you were cheated on and now you hate all women everywhere because one girl happened to not be satisfied with a monogamous relationship?

If she wasn't "satisfied with a monogamous relationship", she should have broken up with him and then gone off to be "happy" in whatever disgraceful state she preferred. I'm stunned you'd defend someone who betrayed and lied to Rex, and then paint Rex as irrational for not just accepting this as perfectly ordinary behavior.

[eerr]

Nah, she's not in love with you, she's just using you.

You might be too nice.


Likely similar for the other guy.

[G-Flex]

Nah, she's not in love with you, she's just using you.

You might be too nice.


Likely similar for the other guy.

Who are you even talking to? If you're talking to V-Norrec, why would you automatically assume that his fiancee is "using him" given no information aside from... errr, aside from the fact that she exists, I guess.

[DJ]

The problem is that you keep picking the wrong ones, likely because you get blinded by infatuation. Try listening to your friends next time. Not that they're guaranteed to be right every time, but you really should try and see things from their angle before you decide whether they're right or not.

[eerr]

Nah, she's not in love with you, she's just using you.

You might be too nice.


Likely similar for the other guy.

Who are you even talking to? If you're talking to V-Norrec, why would you automatically assume that his fiancee is "using him" given no information aside from... errr, aside from the fact that she exists, I guess.

Well, assuming she 'loves' this other guy too, she sounds awfully like a woman using men.
It could be like her brother or dad or some 'friend' technically. But it sound like this dude has picked up way too many women that aren't really interested in him.

[SalmonGod]

One more voice here saying take it slow.

I met my wife online when I was 13.  Moved in together at 17.  Got married at 21.  Am now 27.  We have the longest lasting marriage of anyone we know under the age of 40. 

We have watched most of our friends jump headfirst into relationships because they fell so hard so fast that they were absolutely certain they were "the one" and committed themselves as deeply and quickly as able.  It's never ended well.

Then there's the people who find any temporary lack of romantic partner to be purest agony, and attach themselves to the nearest, most convenient person they can find any reason to develop affection for.  These people are constantly in trouble.

I think the problem is these people base their relationship on the other person's qualities.  They look for an ideal and think that when they've found a match that's the end of the story... but people change.  When the relationship is based on each person's perceptions of the other's qualities, everything falls apart when those perceptions change.

Personally, I think relationships aren't found.  They're built.

My marriage is FAR from ideal.  We have tons of issues.  We fight fairly often.  We are totally opposite people.  But our relationship is founded on a rich history of mutual support that goes back to well before we were a couple, not how well we fit into eachother's concept of a perfect partner.  I think it's because of this our relationship has survived for this long, when everyone around us has failed even though they were far more compatible.

So just live your life.  Pursue your interests.  This stuff will happen naturally.

[GTM]

I really see only one solution here.

You need to bone her mom.

[Cthulhu]

Nah, she's not in love with you, she's just using you.

You might be too nice.


Likely similar for the other guy.

Who are you even talking to? If you're talking to V-Norrec, why would you automatically assume that his fiancee is "using him" given no information aside from... errr, aside from the fact that she exists, I guess.

Well, assuming she 'loves' this other guy too, she sounds awfully like a woman using men.
It could be like her brother or dad or some 'friend' technically. But it sound like this dude has picked up way too many women that aren't really interested in him.

I think you're getting peopled mixed together, eerr.  There are two people with cheating-related anecdotes, Rex_Nex and V-Norrec.  Rex is the one with the girl who said she was loving people, V-Norrec is now in a happy, exclusive relationship but had other people cheating.