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[MetalSlimeHunt]

Well would YOU like to try and put out a fire using a hydrant with an alligator tied to it?

Have you ever been to Michigan?

Hint: All our alligators are in the zoo.

Don't believe him. He's just trying to lure you into a false sense of security so he can feed you to Michigan's wild alligators.

[RedWarrior0]

Well would YOU like to try and put out a fire using a hydrant with an alligator tied to it?

Have you ever been to Michigan?

Hint: All our alligators are in the zoo.

Don't believe him. He's just trying to lure you into a false sense of security so he can feed you to Michigan's wild alligators.

Absolutely not. It's the Michigan Walking Sharks you need to worry about.

[Bauglir]

-snip-

[Hugehead]

This entire page.
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

[Realmfighter]

Most of those go from mystifying to terrifying if you try to imagine such a warning being needed.

[smigenboger]

I like the rat poison box saying "Warning: has caused cancer in laboratory mice"

[ECrownofFire]

This entire page.
http://www.rinkworks.com/said/warnings.shtml

My favorites:

"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch
"In case of flood, proceed uphill. In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly." -- One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.
"Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar, vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour, emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents, enzymes, water. May contain: fruit." -- The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

[Hugehead]

Yep, that entire "What people Said" page is full of awesome stuff like that, entire site is pretty good, I use the Fantasy Name Generator often.

[Leafsnail]

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

I should damn well hope so.

[Aklyon]

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

I should damn well hope so.

Theres always the defective can, though.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

On the bottom of a tiremisu "Do not invert" On a can of chocolate Lynx "This chocolate flavoured spray is not food, do not eat(ingest)"

[ILikePie]

There's a kosher sign on my deodorant, it also says "Flammable!" and "Do not eat!" right under that. Silly rabbis.

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Hehe. On a pack of nytol "side effects include drowsiness..."
on a childrens cough bottle "This may cause drowsiness, do not operate heavy machinery"
*Edited for less retarded spelling*

[smjjames]

"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch

Maybe a mangled translation?

"Serving suggestion: Defrost." -- On a Swann frozen dinner.

Maybe it refers to the microwave setting? Might make sense if we knew what the entre was. Otherwise wierd....


"Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone." -- On a box of pills.

This one actually makes sense when you consider that if you don't take the entire dose of an antibiotic, it might not kill all of the bacteria. Which is how drug resistant bacteria develop. All it takes is one or a handful of survivors.


"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

Huh? Frisbees don't have any rings or whatever sticking out, ruins the aerodynamics anyway.

[Akura]

Yep, that entire "What people Said" page is full of awesome stuff like that, entire site is pretty good, I use the Fantasy Name Generator often.

Man, I'm reading the Computer Stupidities section of that.

Back in the mid-eighties, the high school I went to had just purchased a handful of 8086s along with some basic hardware -- at that time these things still were horribly expensive. A few weeks later, the computer lab was broken into and some of the hardware stolen. But the computers themselves had been left untouched: only the monitors and keyboards were gone. Apparently, the only computers the thieves had known were C64s or Apple II's, where the computer and keyboard are part of the same unit. Imagine the frustration when these guys tried to get the stolen machines to work!