Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

Author Topic: Male child-bearing.  (Read 711 times)

Patarak

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Male child-bearing.
« on: January 25, 2008, 06:03:00 am »
It has come to my attention that male dwarves can give birth to yung-uns. That ain't right.  :eek:
Logged

Jreengus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Si Hoc Legere Scis Nimium Eruditionis Habes
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2008, 07:35:00 am »
Where do they come out of??? the thought of the baby trying to exit through the front is painful
Logged
Quote from: Aqizzar on March 21, 2010, 01:47:38 am
Oh yeah baby, you know you like it.  Now stop crying and get in my lungs.
Quote from: Jackrabbit on April 19, 2010, 06:48:17 pm
Boil your penis. I'm convinced that's how it happened.
My HoM.

Kayla

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2008, 08:08:00 am »
I don't think there is a place they come from, except from The Stork. Lets examine all the male 'holes', if you will. You have the ears. Oww. The nostrils. Oww x2. The mouth, Oww x3. The....'behind', Oww x10. And the ....'front', Oww xohmygosh.


So, I think it was the stork indeed.

Logged

Sithlordz

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2008, 08:37:00 am »
... EWWWWW. Perhaps you have a transvestite dwarf.
Logged
You are sentenced to 2477 consecutive life terms.  Have a nice day.

Torak

  • Bay Watcher
  • God of Gods of Blood.
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2008, 09:37:00 am »
Rename him Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Logged
As you journey to the center of the world, feel free to read the death announcements of those dwarves that suffer your neglect.

One billion b-balls dribbling simultaneously throughout the galaxy. One trillion b-balls being slam dunked through a hoop throughout the cosmos. I can feel every single b-ball that has ever existed at my fingertips, I can feel their collective knowledge channeling through my veins. Every jumpshot, every rebound and three-pointer, every layup, dunk and free throw.

jonnym

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2008, 11:01:00 am »
kill him and his ..child do not let the purity of the dwarfven race be polluted with mutations!
Logged

Asehujiko

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2008, 11:15:00 am »
Sea horse dwarves?
Logged
Code: [Select]
Tremble, mortal, and despair! Doom has come to this world!
.....EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EE.EE.EEE.EE..EE.EE.E.EE.EE.E.EE.
......E..EE.EE.EE.EE..E...EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EEE...E.EEE.
.☺..EE.E...E.EE.EE...E.EE..E..EE.EE.EE.EE..E...EE.EE..E.E
.....E..E.E.E.E.E.EE.E.E.EE.E...E.EE.EE...E.EE.EE.EEE...E
....E.EE.EEE.EE..EE.EE.E..EEEE..E..E.E...EEE.EEE..E.E..EE

Alfador

  • Bay Watcher
  • Dangerous Lunatic
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #7 on: January 25, 2008, 12:04:00 pm »
quote:
Originally posted by Kayla:
<STRONG>I don't think there is a place they come from, except from The Stork. Lets examine all the male 'holes', if you will. You have the ears. Oww. The nostrils. Oww x2. The mouth, Oww x3. The....'behind', Oww x10. And the ....'front', Oww xohmygosh.


So, I think it was the stork indeed.</STRONG>

I would place the nostrils at third most Oww since they're so small and the nose is so cartilaginous. The ears would be second since that's your freaking SKULL. And the 'front'... I agree with your placement there mate.

quote:
Originally posted by Asehujiko:
<STRONG>Sea horse dwarves?</STRONG>

...Yeah!!!  :D

[ January 25, 2008: Message edited by: Alfador ]

Logged
This is a fox skull helmet. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It menaces with spikes of fox bone and is encircled with bands of fox leather. This item is haunted by the ghost of Alfador Angrorung the fox.

Aquillion

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #8 on: January 26, 2008, 06:40:00 am »
You forgot the logical place:

The beard.  Baby dwarves emerge from their father's beards.

Logged
We don't want another cheap fantasy universe, we want a cheap fantasy universe generator. --Toady One

penguinofhonor

  • Bay Watcher
  • Minister of Love
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #9 on: January 26, 2008, 12:20:00 pm »
quote:
Originally posted by Aquillion:
<STRONG>You forgot the logical place:

The beard.  Baby dwarves emerge from their father's beards.</STRONG>

Yeah, people. Isn't it obvious?

Logged

MickEfinn

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #10 on: January 28, 2008, 12:03:00 pm »
Oh Please... you people oughta remember your history...

Remember how Athena came into being? Zeus was having headaches, so Hephaestus took his hammer and cracked open his skull, and out she sprang!

In our case, Dwarves being less godly, their babies do not spring out fully grown and in armor. They get used AS armor, but that's besides the point.

But this means the Hammerer is not a punishment giver, but is in fact a Nurse Maid or Mid-wife. And this being the dark ages and all, most people don't make it.

To further add to this silliness, I demand Toady add Trepanation as a possible contraceptive aid to dwarf fortress.

:p

Logged

Kagus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Olive oil. Don't you?
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #11 on: January 29, 2008, 02:45:00 am »
I think the ability for dwarves to conceive should be added before the ability for dwarves to prevent conception.  Just seems logical to me.


But then again, a male dwarf giving birth doesn't really follow standard lines of logic...

P.S.
A transvestite is someone who just dresses as the opposite sex.  A transsexual is someone who undergoes stronger methods to try and become the opposite sex.  A Hermaphrodite has both sets of genitalia.

Get your gender-confused terminology right.

Logged

Sithlordz

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #12 on: January 29, 2008, 03:26:00 am »
Transvestite as-in, a dwarf that dresses like a man (Hopefully convincing enough to make you believe so), whom got pregnant, so is a woman.  If Discworld is to be trusted, the genders are hard to tell apart.  Beat that.
Logged
You are sentenced to 2477 consecutive life terms.  Have a nice day.

Kagus

  • Bay Watcher
  • Olive oil. Don't you?
    • View Profile
Re: Male child-bearing.
« Reply #13 on: January 29, 2008, 03:30:00 am »
Dresses like a man?  So, a flowing dress and a thong?

Dwarves have an innately hard time of dressing up as the other gender, because they all wear exactly the same stuff.

Logged