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[Iapetus]

From one of my early 40d forts:

A blind dragon attacks.

Passes out.

Gets beaten to death by a horde of hastily-drafted civilians.

***

In my current game (40d), a champion wrestler got chased around the map by two skeletal hoary marmots (until he got backed into a corner and was forced to fight, and destroyed them in about two seconds).

***

A different sort of anticlimatic battle occured in my last game with the new version of DF (and hence why I'm currently playing 40d).  I had multiple squads of militia soldiers, set to permenantly carry weapons and armour, and cycle through patroling, training, and normal work.  However, something went drastically wrong (possibly triggered by an attempt to swap their gear for better quality stuff), and when a small goblin ambush popped up, all my dwarf refused to fight, and I ended up having my entire population massacred by about six gobbos.

[Mantonio]

The first time I ever got a 'Such and Such has come!', it was a Titan made of salt

Sent my semi-competent Hammerdwarfs at it. One of them knocked his head off (in what I like to imagine is a Baseball style) and the rest of it just collapsed into salt.

Bit disappointed, I was.

[Lint938]

Minotaur came to the front of my fortress a squad of 3 speardwarfs took care of him in seconds only lost one dwarf due to suffocating? after the fight was over. Being the first real fight ive had in game I was expecting him to be stronger than the random goblin ambushes.

[SurfinShroom]

Forgotten Beasts seem to be akin to Toady playing Russian Roulette with your fortress, as they can be anything from harmless giant worms made of mud to necrotic-gas spewing nigh-invunerable iron hydras of doom.

I lol'ed

[jonny211]

In one of my first forts (that always got wiped as I couldn't figure out the military) my first Titan rocked up, I sealed the fortress and let the dwarves drink heavily whilst waiting for certain death but he/it decided that admiring a waterwheel was a better plan than fighting and was hacked to bits by a lone human guard of a departing caravan.

JollyGreen Giant cancels killmaimdestroy: Interrupted by pretty waterwheel.

[Bererez]

My first (semi)mega beast was an Ettin. When the game froze and centered on him I thought, "well, time for some fun..." because I thought I was doomed. I had 4 war dogs and 6 axedwarves without armor, wielding training axes. The Ettin rushes into my base (down 2 Zs of 1x1 up/down stairs), kills a war dog, and then dies. I check the logs and see that one of my axedwarves used the butt of his rubberwood training axe to push the Ettin's nose into its brain. I was disappointed. I wanted to see some carnage unfold because I have yet to lose a fort to fun

[iceball3]

My first (semi)mega beast was an Ettin. When the game froze and centered on him I thought, "well, time for some fun..." because I thought I was doomed. I had 4 war dogs and 6 axedwarves without armor, wielding training axes. The Ettin rushes into my base (down 2 Zs of 1x1 up/down stairs), kills a war dog, and then dies. I check the logs and see that one of my axedwarves used the butt of his rubberwood training axe to push the Ettin's nose into its brain. I was disappointed. I wanted to see some carnage unfold because I have yet to lose a fort to fun

Dwarf fortress, your sad because you didn't lose.

[Hans Lemurson]

A Jasper Quadruped slipped through a crack in my walls that separated the "safe" section of the cavern that I was farming in from the greater cavern area.  I quickly evacuated the area but an idiot-child was caught in the boiling gas it belched forth as its attack.  He shortly thereafter suffocated.  While it was distracted by destroying my spider-silk industry, I was able to place s series of doors in the hallway leading to my main stairwell and dug some tunnels behind it and carved fortifications in the walls so that I would be able to have my marksdwarves rain volleys down on it undisturbed while it slowly battered through a series of 6 locked iron doors.

I was tense as if broke through the first door and I was afraid that it would counter-attack my marksdwarves with its poisonous gas, but my fears were averted when it didn't respond to their iron pinpricks.  In fact it didn't do ANYTHING.  It didn't even attack the 2nd door.  It just sat there and did nothing.  In fact, my marksdwarves had to be relieved from their post because they ran out of food an ammunition.

It's been a year, and the Jasper Quadruped is still alive and kicking.  Well, not the kicking part, since the 80+ bolts that have managed to embed themselves in its body have fractured all 4 of its limbs.  With its helpless immobility, I have walled it off as best i could and turned it into my "Live-fire training zone" while I reclaim my cave-farms.

I'm fairly sure I encountered a bug of some sort, but regardless of the cause it certainly resulted in an anti-climactic battle.

[V12US]

I once got a goblin siege, 20 odd goblins on various mounts, with a complementary squad of trolls to bash in doors and the like. The goblin leader was some dangerous lasher chap on a jabberer.

This happened at a time when my military consisted of a handful of dabbling axe and hammer dwarves, clad in random pieces of iron armor, scrounged together from ambush fatalities that ran themselves into my traps.

Ofcourse I believed there was no way I was going to win this one. The enemies far outnumbered the traps I had at the entrance, and my military probably wouldn't even down a single goblin.

I told every dwarf in the fort to back down to the lowest floor, where they would make their last stand and die. Then I unpaused the game to watch the fort end, only for the goblin leader to run himself into a trap and die, causing every other goblin to flee the site in fear.


Eventhough it was fortunate, it felt so underwhelming.

[Aspgren]

In 40d a large number of goblins lead by a axelord approached my fortress. A marksdwarf shot the axelord in the face and he died immediately ... the others just turned and left.

[TactlessScumbag]

From someone else : A FB spawned in caverns, he/she sent the whole army at it. They all died. Then a stray cat killed it.

Hmmm... anti-climactic end to a climactic situation.  I had an issue like that.  After a particularly horrific siege my dwarves had all but killed each other in a fit of crazy (those who hadn't already died by their wounds).  It eventually came down to a crazed, berserking axedwarf (trained) who chopped up the rest of my military (he killed the local hero in his sleep) and proceeded to kill the remaining adults, children and animals.  I soon realized that there were only 3 adult dwarfs left:

A doctor, a bedridden marksdwarf and a psychotic axe-murderer. 

If the two stable dwarves were to die there would be no stopping the axeman; the children of the fortress would be doomed.  I carefully snuck the doctor down to a bunker I'd built for the dwarves.  The marksdwarf was there as well, resting his grievous wounds in the barracks.  My doctor had never carried a weapon before in his life, and he would surely be doomed, but he had no choice and went to suit up.  If he fell, the wounded marksdwarf (and the fortress) would fall with them.  The inexperienced doctor picked out a spear and several pieces of leather and bone armor.

Together, the doctor and the marksdwarf awaited their destiny.


And waited.

And waited some more. 


...as it turns out, the axedwarf had died and would never hurt the fortress and its denizens ever again.  I thought at first that he simply died of dehydration.  After a bit of research I discovered, to my complete shock (and possibly awe) that this was not the case:

The axemurderer had been killed by perhaps the greatest warrior I never realized we had.

He was defeated... by a cow. 

Apparently the dwarf approached to chop the cow into tiny bits and the animal just wouldn't have it.  When the axedwarf took a swing the cow proceeded to bash his brains in with its mighty hooves.  At last, after nearly a year of forgotten beasts, goblin sieges and psychokillers, the fortress was safe.

I then celebrated by barbecuing the fortress Messiah, turning him into a nigh impenetrable piece of leather armor.  And I'd do it again.


Come to think of it... death by cow isn't as anti-climactic as I thought.   

[MrNuke]

Forgotten Beasts seem to be akin to Toady playing Russian Roulette with your fortress, as they can be anything from harmless giant worms made of mud to necrotic-gas spewing nigh-invunerable iron hydras of doom.

Sigg'd   

[Kaiser Reinhard]

A steam titan approaches my fortress. My entire military is mobilized to engage it, all decked in steel armaments, save for the hammers which were silver. They dwarves charge, while a sniper fires a wooden bolt, and then moment the bolt connects with the titan, it simply EVAPORATES.

I thought it'd be impossible to kill thanks to not being made of an organic material, too.

[Willfrey]

An Ambush!  Curse them!

My lone axedwarf was harvesting wood when a group of Kobolds popped up and attacked.  A half second later another ambush!  This time it was goblins.  Turns out the goblins and koblds were at war with one another, so they proceeded to slaughter eachother.  I hasitly draft the axedwarf into the military just in case, the last remaining goblin was badly injured and passed out by the time I got him there for the mop up.

[Karakzon]

millatery of 20 dwarfs. 1 forgotten beast bird thing.

i send them all down, encased in steel with short swords or with crossbows -and with short swords, yeah, my marks dofs dual weild somehow, supprised they didnt shoot their swords-

anyhoots: they killed it because their was so many it didnt know what to hit.

my entire millatery then took 5 steps and passed out and bled. i thought they were all going to die.

5min later they all got back up and went for a drink xP