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[iceball3]

By quoting all of that, you furthered the enthusiasm of pyramid building.
Please don't feed the trolls.

[warwizard]

D came to visit and the first to meet it was a dog, shortly a !!dog!!, Olen the wood cutter was waiting around the corner, drafted at exactly the right time he steps around the corner face to face with the dragon. Dragon gets in the first bite, left arm gone from the sholder... counter strike, dead dragon, Olin "dragon slayer" turns around seeing the squad of marks dwarves rushing into position, and says: "go back to yer beer, ye worthless boozers"

[Deus Machina]

The forgotten beast Bronzespider McFleshEatingBlood has arrived!

Send the whole military out, an axedwarf lops off a toe to create a spray of blood that sends almost the entire military to the hospital with fingers and toes and feet and eyeballs rotting out of their sockets left right and center.

The beast follows them inside, I lock a door, it tries another path--and walks right into a cage trap.

That one is fake.
Forgotten beasts don't trigger cage traps unless a GCS web is on it.

Just checked my logs, you're correct. I currently have the ettin that arrived before and wandered around in a cage.

The FB (Ricote Vaficethiliri Isa Nuwetha, a huge quadruped composed of vomit. It has a broad shell and it squirms and fidgets. Beware its poisonous vapors!) dodged off a ledge, and promptly got a *donkey bone bolt* through the spine.

[Deus Machina]

Whoops, double tap.

[mnjiman]

Massive siege of almost 80 Goblins and 20 trolls. At this point in time i had no traps ready for battle. I had a army of 30 dwarfs. 20 axe and 10 hammer dwarfs.

I send in my dwarfs, preparing for a massive battle! I know I can win this fight!!!! bridge retracts.


....


my entire army falls into lava.

If that wasnt enough, there was (for some reason). Another way into my fortress besides the closed bridge.

O, it looked like a insane dwarf decided to pull the lever or some such.

[LilGunmanX]

Mine was when I set up an interesting way to kill invading goblins. It was a drawbridge suspended over a pit that has a series of inescapable ledges inside it. Near the top of the pit is water to push invaders off of the ledges down into a small hole which drops like 10 floors down onto a spike trap. From there, the invaders are harmlessly collected at the bottom and the water is pushed out of a bunch of grates, which then drain down into the second cavern layer.

A forgotten beast, a quadruped composed entirely of steam, shows up right as I'm testing the drainage system. It worked fine, with all of the water draining down into the cavern below... but the beast decided that today was a perfect day to take a bath, despite being entirely made of steam. It is hit with the water, and the water blasts half of its body off, killing it immediately.

This, or something similar, happened to another quadruped composed of snow on that same map, in that same cavern layer.

[Lord Dakoth]

My fortress had anger management issues. I hadn't built any beds yet, and everyone was drinking water. I broke into the emergency *Roasts* and Sunshine to cheer everyone up. The tantrums slowed, but never really stopped. I lost a few dwarves to general insanity.

A few years later, the tantrums were still going on, but on a much more manageable scale. I'd estimate that about 80% of my fortress had knocked something over or hit someone at some point in time.

Then the Hammerer arrived. There were no survivors.

[Polar_Atom]

Mine was probably:
"The carp misses you!
You rush at the carp.
You have been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice."

And I hoped to have an awesome fight <.<

Divine intervention by the dark, evil carp god.

Well, the carp are all dead, so I think I won.

I feel bad for Urist though, frozen in the ice, watching the twenty carp frozen all around him. Its too bad freezing means instant death, or else it would be a winter of the utmost suspense!

[Ten_Tacles]

Mine was probably:
"The carp misses you!
You rush at the carp.
You have been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice.
The carp has been encased in ice."

And I hoped to have an awesome fight <.<

Divine intervention by the dark, evil carp god.

Well, the carp are all dead, so I think I won.

I feel bad for Urist though, frozen in the ice, watching the twenty carp frozen all around him. Its too bad freezing means instant death, or else it would be a winter of the utmost suspense!

Dwarven Hell.
Forever looking at your uttermost enemies.


If I would still have that world, and knew where he died, I would make a fort there and make statues out of the ice in which they died.

"This is a statue of Urist McCarpkiller. He is encased in ice."
"This is a statue of a carp. It is encased in ice." *13

[Untouchable]

I once had a fire demon in a neighboring goblin fortress who shot a cone of flames at kobold invaders and, when the ground was set on fire, promptly died from the heat.  I was looking forward to the siege when they would all become hostile

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Asno Sulozedan Lungukbosathen, demon that should not have survived to lead.

[WrathNail]

Most FBs that aren't outright invulnerable tend to end up like this.

Also, a classic one: Bronze collossus appears. Steps into a cage trap. The End.

[Wastedlabor]

True story.

I didn't have much chances to fight humans or elves snatched by goblins until my last fortress, in which goblins seem to have dungeons full of them.

So, I send my mixed quality squad to fight the ambush, and Thikut "Crewedshoot", one of my half decent soldiers with a particular inclination for certain colors, decides to engage the human. "Good", I thought. "It must be just some wretched mercenary, enticed to face a certain death for the sake of his lords. He won't have a chance. It isn't like he knows karate."

So there goes Thikut and, even before landing a hit, the human strikes a vital point and Thikut falls dead.

Yeah, he knew karate.

[celem]

In an attempt to have a Fun embark I arrive in a terrifying biome with 7 dwarves and 2 doggies, with respect to the surroundings one of my dwarves is an axe user.

Immediately on hitting unpause 3 zombie alligators rise from the river (about 5 tiles from the wagon) and I think 'here we go!'.  Its gonna be a wipe, I can feel it.  I swiftly draft the axe dwarf and prepare to have him defend the site.

Well his axe is on the wagon....and the zombie alligators are on the wagon, so he spends the next 5 minutes running back and forth scared by the damn 'gators.

During said 5 minutes my 2 mutts tear all the alligators to bits before bleeding out......errr...no that wasnt the plan

[HungryHobo]

A dragon appears, in my young fortress I'm thinking I'll have a real battle.

I issue a kill order for the dragon and my military start charging out of the fortress in full armor with axes in hand.

before they even get close one of my hunters in pursuit of a groundhog pauses for a moment to casually kill the ancient and terrible lizard with a couple of bolts before setting off again after his far more elusive and cunning adversary- the groundhog.

Then there were a few forgotten beasts which turned up and were hacked to bits without even scratching a single dwarf.
I don't think FB's like axes much.

completely immortal and unkillable forgotten beasts were annoying but they've been toned down just a little too much now.
They should cause problems even for a number of legendary dwarves.

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Most FBs that aren't outright invulnerable tend to end up like this.

Also, a classic one: Bronze collossus appears. Steps into a cage trap. The End.

Or : Bronze collossus appears. Visiting adventurer throws fluffy wamblers. The end.