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Should elves be regarded as an acceptable civilization?

Yes
No

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Author Topic: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread  (Read 14482 times)

cog disso

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #45 on: October 30, 2010, 03:47:25 am »

Let's be fair here: dwarves are a nightmare for any neighboring ecosystem unlucky enough to be in their path. The crimes here are strip mining, wanton destruction of entire forests, introduction of foreign domesticated species, harvestation of endangered turtles, REROUTING OF VOLCANOS, damming streams, draining marshlands and (in Adventure Mode), deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson.

A dwarf is a short, bearded, drunk embodiment of Survival of the Fittest, chasing you around and admiring your haunting moos.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2010, 03:54:19 am by cog disso »
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Zidane

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #46 on: October 30, 2010, 04:00:26 am »

Let's be fair here: dwarves are a nightmare for any neighboring ecosystem unlucky enough to be in their path. The crimes here are strip mining, wanton destruction of entire forests, introduction of foreign domesticated species, harvestation of endangered turtles, REROUTING OF VOLCANOS, damming streams, draining marshlands and (in Adventure Mode), deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson.

But in return they get trinkets with engraving of dwarfs DOING THOSE THINGS! See, equivalent exchange.
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lolghurt

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #47 on: October 30, 2010, 04:01:00 am »

Don't forget the other shit they'll haul off for you: goblin loincloths, Clothes covered in stuff that will melt your skin, FB corpses that can melt your skin, Buckets full of magma (made of something other than wood), Clown cages, etc

Wait, what?  How?
I dunno. You can occasionally get really, really weird stuff into buckets.
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Silent_Thunder

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #48 on: October 30, 2010, 01:04:03 pm »

The worst is when they freak out about you selling them wood products, when they are your ONLY wood source.

NewSheoth

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #49 on: October 30, 2010, 01:57:55 pm »

The worst is when they freak out about you selling them wood products, when they are your ONLY wood source.

No, the worst is when you've spent an entire winter churning out untold amounts of stuff, then designated it all painstakingly, one by one (by the way, is there a way to designate them all for bringing to the depot at once? I never found one.), then picked everything in the elven caravan and selected a lot of stuff from your piles, only to have ONE rogue wood item in there.
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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #50 on: October 30, 2010, 02:58:23 pm »

I liked them when they'd bring me tons of cloth, actually; my first really successful fort acquired a legendary clothier early on, so I decided to go with the flow. I think that fort ended up cornering the market in wholesale dwarf-size garments across most of the continent.
Then one of the elven caravan guards (a feature I'd modded in out of pity) took on an entire squad of goblins single-handed and killed five of them before going down right in front of the squad of axedwarves sprinting to his aid.

I built a statue on the spot where he fell.
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NewSheoth

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #51 on: October 30, 2010, 03:01:53 pm »

Seems that it differs from person to person - some keep getting jerkass arrogant annoying elves, while others get the fairly benign and not so bad overall kind. My latest fort defintely got the latter - they brought lots of empty barrels and brew-filled ones too, tons of wood and cloth for a dwarf that's been injured days before their arrival.
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Rolan7

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #52 on: October 30, 2010, 04:35:39 pm »

Elves can bring Sunberries, which I love.
The only beef I have with them is the interface-hassle of selling them cheap items like crafts, given their bin-phobia.  With cooking so incredibly lucrative, though, this isn't a real problem.  The value ought to be reduced, but as long as it takes forever to select bins of goods, I don't feel bad.
But elves?  I'm cool with them for now.  Their cannibalism makes me think we'll be dealing with far more tricksy, dangerous elves in the future, and that will be "fun"!
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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #53 on: October 30, 2010, 04:49:26 pm »

I never minded elves.  Sure it's annoying when I discover there's wood in my goods somewhere, but I always took that as a sign I was going to get something good next spring and not bins of cloth.  Heck, in my volcano fort, they brought me a tamed giant desert scorpion the first spring.  And cloth is actually useful in this incarnation - can never overstock your hospital with the stuff.

So, no elf bone bolts in my forts.
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Naz

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #54 on: October 30, 2010, 08:22:40 pm »

Last I checked the votes were 49 in favor of elves, or, as I call it, HERESY and 59 against. That being said the pointy eared pukes get to live as long as they're useful. I like to think of their merchant caravans as "tribute".
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Eagle_eye

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #55 on: October 30, 2010, 08:48:58 pm »

I like to posses elven adventurers and throw them into the fiery maw of hell to have their flesh rent by demonic beasts. Does that count as acceptance?
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Internet Kraken

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #56 on: October 30, 2010, 09:26:41 pm »

Let's be fair here: dwarves are a nightmare for any neighboring ecosystem unlucky enough to be in their path. The crimes here are strip mining, wanton destruction of entire forests, introduction of foreign domesticated species, harvestation of endangered turtles, REROUTING OF VOLCANOS, damming streams, draining marshlands and (in Adventure Mode), deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson after deliberate forest arson.

A dwarf is a short, bearded, drunk embodiment of Survival of the Fittest, chasing you around and admiring your haunting moos.

And yet the Elves only complain about you tearing down forests, even though forests always grow back in DF regardless of the number of trees you cut down. They have strange priorities.
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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #57 on: October 30, 2010, 09:35:15 pm »

Let's be fair here: dwarves are a nightmare for any neighboring ecosystem unlucky enough to be in their path. The crimes here are [...] introduction of foreign domesticated species


To be fair, the elves do this too, and worse than dwarves can do on their own. Otherwise they wouldn't be selling you tamed elephants and desert animals while you're up in a boreal forest.
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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #58 on: October 30, 2010, 11:20:01 pm »

Realistically within game terms I love the elves, but were I a dwarf in Amethaecamo or Orid Thran I would need to say with bluntness and vigor:

I would not regard Elves as acceptable, they are pompous self-righteous murderers and hypocrites worshiping that which they kill to protect what they worship.

Despite lacking enough free brain cells after their over-sized bodies and inability to maintain homeostasis without cellular micromanagement due to lack of hair, fat, or sufficient alcohol, I've never been at war with them, not once. I simply use so little wood in the course of normal activities that they very rarely even send a diplomat. They provide wood enough themselves to satisfy me, in return for taking away (literally) mountains of unwanted rock crafts. They don't even mind if I steal from them or if 99% of their caravans die in ambushes/sieges/field tests of traps/honest accidents/attempts to provoke war.
« Last Edit: October 30, 2010, 11:21:53 pm by Eric Blank »
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cog disso

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Re: The Elf Acception (or not so much) Thread
« Reply #59 on: October 30, 2010, 11:20:39 pm »

Let's be fair here: dwarves are a nightmare for any neighboring ecosystem unlucky enough to be in their path. The crimes here are [...] introduction of foreign domesticated species


To be fair, the elves do this too, and worse than dwarves can do on their own. Otherwise they wouldn't be selling you tamed elephants and desert animals while you're up in a boreal forest.

Staring at the mountain of stone I've got, Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm going to vote that the dwarves are more of an ecological horror show.
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