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[Flintus10]

Tell the humans that I am the manifestation of the volcano they worship and that I recently smote a whole village of kobolds

[Frelock]

Go into the forest, and begin scavenging for food.

[quip]

Try to comfort Epinura and take her away from the nasty water, also set self on fire to say sorry.
(well, I guess I have to set myself on fire in protest to what I did...  Whoops)

[Humaan]

Ascend to Logic Elemental-dom LOGICALLY!

[Biag]

Turn 4

This Time It's Personal Squared

Jfrible (NewsMuffin)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[quote auther=NewsMuffin]Seduction spree![/quote]

[5] You manage to seduce 2 women. Which is really impressive, considering that you're not even the same species. Even more impressive? They're twins. The universe high-fives you.

Status Effect Gained: Confidence

Urist (JacenHan)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Randomly walk to the graveyard.

[5] Once you are deep in the graveyard, you hear moaning behind you. You turn around and... OH NOES! You've uncovered a zombie! It lunges for you, and you brace yourself, waiting for the cold teeth on your poor exposed kobold flesh... The zombie gives you a friendly hug.

What do you name your new pet?

Pet Zombie Gained!

Ice (iceball3)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Crash comet.

[3] Meager success! Not the best crash landing you've ever seen, but it's alright. You hit that squirrel with a shard of ice, but you cut your arm pretty bad.

Damage Roll [4] Current HP: 6/10

Klack (Flintus10)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Impersonate a volcano god.

[4] You throw open the doors to the village church and declare your holiness to the priest there. He cowers in awe.

Servant Gained: Human Priest

Twi'lek (Frelock)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Scavenge for food.

[5+1] You go hunting. So many deer and rabbits fall to your knife that the forest is quickly depopulated. But at least you won't go hungry!

Item Gained: Lots of Meat

Brob (quip)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Comfort Epinura.

[2] You move to comfort her with epic snuggles, but she pushes you away and continues sobbing. [3+1] In a last-ditch attempt to save your relationship, you light yourself and Epinura on fire. The warmth melts the ice around her heart. She loves you once again.

Relationship Saved!
Skill Gained: Relationships I

Derefi (Humaan)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Become a Logic Elemental.

[4+1] You draw a chessboard on the ground and stare at it. What is it? What does it MEAN? Suddenly, you glimpse into the great Logic that runs under all the world, and you see.

It's a double chessboard.

A double chessboard all the way across the sky.

In fact, you think...

You think it's starting to be a TRIPLE chessboard.

You can't even capture it on your camera.

Skill Gained: Logic II

The General State of Things.
Wow, you guys have a lot of pets/followers. Also a lot of interesting new powers. And I managed to bring in one meme already! Awesome.

[iceball3]

Look around for that logic guy, take his cheesboard, and practice leaping high in the air and dropping it on someone with me on top of it, punctuating that action with a great "WWRRRYYYYY!!!".

[JacenHanLovesLegos]

Name pet zombie Gravom, after grave and random. Ask zombie where the other zombies are.

[Humaan]

Look around for that logic guy, take his cheesboard, and practice leaping high in the air and dropping it on someone with me on top of it, punctuating that action with a great "WWRRRYYYYY!!!".

Spoiler: For Epicness and Size (click to show/hide)

Prove why this action is not possible, using logic, of course

[Flintus10]

Have my priest gather the townspeople and make them aware of my god-like status. And then make them build me a throne.

[NewsMuffin]

Seduce the twins into an indefinite state of kobold dick lust. CONFIDENTLY. WITH CUTENESS.

[Humaan]

Seduce the twins into an indefinite state of kobold dick lust. CONFIDENTLY. WITH CUTENESS.

No, just... no.


MY BRAIN, WHERE IS THE BLEACH!?!

[Flintus10]

Seduce the twins into an indefinite state of kobold dick lust. CONFIDENTLY. WITH CUTENESS.

No, just... no.


MY BRAIN, WHERE IS THE BLEACH!?!

Success = disturbing
Failure= potentially hilarious/also disturbing.

Either way I hope this course of actions ends sooner rather than later 

[Frelock]

Indeed.  I think this party could use a plot, or at least a sense of direction.

Use meat to tame wild animals.  Run away if this fails.

[quip]

Indeed.  I think this party could use a plot, or at least a sense of direction.

There is a plot, it's Koblods getting all the girls, mountains, zombies and elemental things. Oh and there was a village at one point full of Koblods. So, yeah...
Anyway...
Create a cult worshipping all Kobolds, especially us, as GODS!!!!!!!!! Prove divinity by walking through fire/ asking Epinura to demonstrate powers

[Biag]

Turn 5

Is subjugation really so awful if you do it on accident?

Ice (iceball3)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Look around for that logic guy, take his cheesboard, and practice leaping high in the air and dropping it on someone with me on top of it, punctuating that action with a great "WWRRRYYYYY!!!".

[4] During your practice, you smash a chunk out of the mountain. The mountain is now angry.

Urist (JacenHan)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Name pet zombie Gravom, after grave and random. Ask zombie where the other zombies are.

[1] You ask Gravom where his friends are. He cocks his head at you and moans, then leads you into a crypt. Inside the crypt is a Ravenous Zombie Horde. Behind them are the skeletal remains of a kobold; it appears to have a map clutched in its hand.

Derefi (Humaan)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Be Phoenix Wright.

[2] The proof is sound in your head, but it doesn't quite come out right. Actually, now that you're hearing it out loud it sounds kind of stupid. Why would you ever think of that?

Status Effect Gained: Confused

Klack (Flintus10)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Have my priest gather the townspeople and make them aware of my god-like status. And then make them build me a throne.

[6] The townspeople assemble before you in the village square. "My flock!" booms the preacher. "This may seem like an ordinary skulking fiend, but he is in fact our GOD!" The crowd cheers. The priest turns to you and says, "Now, my Eternal Master. We have recognized Your Flaminess... will you grant us but one miracle in return?"

Jfrible (NewsMuffin)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Seduce twins into love-slavedom, LCS-style.

[4+1-1+1=5] Using your [convincing gestures], you manage to [persuade] the twins that kobolds are [nice people] they should [hang around] with as much as their young, nubile bodies can handle.

...God, I hate you.

Follower Gained: Twin 1
Follower Gained: Twin 2
Status Effect Gained: Double Confidence
Status Effect Gained: The GM Has A Vendetta

Twi'lek (Frelock)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Use meat to tame animals.

[6] You're one lucky bastard. Or unlucky, some might say. You are now the proud owner of a mob of Carnivorous Woodland Creatures. You also can't seem to get them to go away.

Followers Gained: Carnivorous Woodland Creatures

Brob (quip)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Kobold Kult.

[5] You leap onto the platform with Klack and get the humans' attention. [4+1] Luckily, you manage to convince Epinura to perform a miracle to convince them. Hopefully she'll come through.

Epinura (NPC)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Perform Miracle

[1] She does some hand gestures, points to Brob, and... uh-oh, looks like her aim was off. The priest's robe is now made of lava. He dies.

The General State of Things.

The Townsfolk have been convinced to Fear All Kobolds. They will do your bidding if you threaten them.

Urist has discovered A Clue to the Plot.

Jfrible has Angered the GM with his Success. Retribution May Not Be Swift, but Lord is it Coming.

The GM's Style Continues to Change with Every Post.