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Author Topic: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?  (Read 2281 times)

squeakyReaper

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #15 on: October 27, 2010, 08:31:36 pm »

As it stands, I don't think hormones have a terrible lot to do with it.  But then I read that sentence again and go durr, because of course it does.  Though I'm not frustrated about the whole non-sex/whatever things, because that is more-or-less a non issue.  I'm not a forward person, and I'm a patient person.  And I never really hit a sex craved puberty anyways.

But that's going in the wrong direction there.  I am enjoying the relationship in the mean time, and it is evident she has a lot of growing up to do.  So do I.  It's just a bit sad how I set this up, heh.  Honestly, I wouldn't really change anything though.  It's fun so far, so it should be fun for a while.

And staying forever with?  Hell no.  I'm not that stupid.  She's nice but...  No one should ever fool themselves by setting that as a goal, especially where I'm standing at.  xD
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G-Flex

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2010, 08:35:16 pm »

In a way, I think you already know it's silly to predict what'll be "inevitable" years from now. I mean, that logic at the end of your last post pretty much applies.
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Astral

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2010, 10:18:27 pm »

Judging by your "2.5 years" and specific course of study, I predict that you go to ECPI. Which one in particular? VA Beach represent!

On another note: It may be worth your time to find someone else. Circumstances can always change, but 3 years younger (and underage), as well as not-in-your-grade-level seems a bit much. It'd be great if you can keep her as a friend, or keep in touch in the long term, but as of now it doesn't seem like it would work out. I know they don't have many parties, but get involved in a club or two.
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G-Flex

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2010, 10:19:55 pm »

I'm more of the opinion that if the age difference causes problems (as it may), those problems will reveal themselves over time, rather than ending things prematurely just because there might be.
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squeakyReaper

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2010, 10:20:50 pm »

Your deductive prowess knows no bounds.  You've got me.  xD

And I'll try to nab a club later.  My mother was a Phi Theta Kappa vice-pres, so I'm going to try and use that influence to join PTK here if possible.  Though I'm not much for clubs really.
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Astral

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #20 on: October 27, 2010, 10:27:39 pm »

My honest opinion is that the Players Club is a waste of time; I spent some time there (~eight months) and there were few to none as far as motivated individuals trying to get things done. I have friends in the programmers club (something I'm considering) and the robotics one, and haven't heard much about PTK, other than that they sold pizza at some of our tournaments (which were largely failures). After a bit of burnout with the gaming club, I'm staying away from them at the moment.

Plus, I was guessing on the VA Beach thing; that's the one I attend at the moment.
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What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the Earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle. -Stephen King's Cell
It's viable to keep a dead rabbit in the glove compartment to take a drink every now and then.

squeakyReaper

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2010, 10:29:45 pm »

That is still insanely scary that you can guess that.  There goes anonymity on the internet, huh?  [notes that his IP is tracked which reveals even more information, plus gave all the information needed to assume identity, so this is not a statement second guessing the internet's privacy]

ANYWAYS

PM'd you, because that's a little less public.
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Astral

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #22 on: October 27, 2010, 10:37:35 pm »

Well, back on topic: Really, if you can make it work, by all means try. If you do think that this is someone special, someone worth the time and effort it would take to keep her (LDR, or otherwise finding a way to stay together), then go for it. If there's some sort of doubt there, then maybe it's time to look for someone else.

Abduction always works too. [I keed, I keed]
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What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the Earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle. -Stephen King's Cell
It's viable to keep a dead rabbit in the glove compartment to take a drink every now and then.

Muz

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #23 on: October 27, 2010, 10:56:56 pm »

Age gap isn't a problem. Sad thing about society is that men are sort of expected to provide for their women. With all the "equality" going on, it's still the culture even in most developed nations. Men swoon over hot girls, women swoon over rich men. You'll get a job earlier than her, so in the long run, it's a nice thing to have an age gap. You won't feel it when 32 and she's 29, and even less so when you're 54, and she's only 51.

But if you can't see any future, then you should cut the cord while it's not too late. It hurts a lot more to break up after 6 years than it does after 3 years. And it'll lead to some resentment if she holds you back later in life. Just my opinion. I'm not really one for short flings with multiple women, better to find a quality girl I'd stick with all my life.

The age gap is nasty right now, though, because the USA will label you a sex criminal and put your name on the Internet for all your neighbors to see if you touch her when you're 18 and she's 17.

I've been in a spot where I dated a girl I never intended to marry. I couldn't enjoy it with her, I couldn't love her, and the closer we got together, the more I worried about how she'd feel if I dumped her. Eventually I did dump her. Both of us saw it coming.. she was pissed, I felt guilty, and if I could do it over again, I would've never dated her when I found out we were incompatible.

Some jerks would also say that you should stick around with her, until you find someone one better. But it's a douche move, and it'll look like you're cheating on her. I'd say just leave now and save yourself some pain later. You'll always find someone compatible with you, even if you're a weird fellow like Armok.
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G-Flex

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #24 on: October 27, 2010, 11:05:10 pm »

Age gap isn't a problem.

This is honestly a really, really creepy thing to say. How do you know it isn't a problem? He's in college, and she's in high school; that alone can cause issues.

Age gap isn't always a problem, but it very well can be. You honestly don't know enough about the people involved to say, and it comes off as really creepy when you straight-up assume that it's not.

You won't feel it when 32 and she's 29, and even less so when you're 54, and she's only 51.

It's a shame we're talking about the present, and not the far future. That logic has little bearing on what's going on right now. I wouldn't consider it reasonable for a 12-year-old to go out with a 17-year-old, but that's sure as hell different from a 40-year-old going out with a 45-year-old.
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== Human Renovation: My Deus Ex mod/fan patch (v1.30, updated 5/31/2012) ==

squeakyReaper

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #25 on: October 27, 2010, 11:06:21 pm »

Compatibility doesn't seem to be the problem at the moment.  I'm not going to be running my code by her, or gushing about Nippon Ichi's latest releases to her, but we work together quite well.  Sitting on the couch watching horror movies, walking on the beach or what have you, it's all good fun.  The age bit is nasty, and some of her friends don't approve.  There was a funny situation where I was friends with one of her friends for a month.  She approved and all, and thought I was perfect for her and all.  Then she asked why she didn't see me around school, I said I was in college- that kinda did it, heh.  Haters gonna hate.

It'd be pretty awesome to have a whole future ahead for both of us together and all, but even I can't worry about marriage and the like.  That sounds like a good way to seem like a total creep.  Just not looking forward to the little bump that's coming in a few years.
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Astral

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #26 on: October 27, 2010, 11:06:27 pm »

@Muz: Good advice. Especially considering that I recently dated a girl (only for a mere two months) before figuring out how bad the relationship likely would've been for the two of us in the long run. It was fun while it lasted, but better a little pain and suffering now when it wasn't a big deal rather than later when there could be more at stake.
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What Darwin was too polite to say, my friends, is that we came to rule the Earth not because we were the smartest, or even the meanest, but because we have always been the craziest, most murderous motherfuckers in the jungle. -Stephen King's Cell
It's viable to keep a dead rabbit in the glove compartment to take a drink every now and then.

Muz

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #27 on: October 28, 2010, 07:27:30 am »

Age gap isn't a problem.

This is honestly a really, really creepy thing to say. How do you know it isn't a problem? He's in college, and she's in high school; that alone can cause issues.

Age gap isn't always a problem, but it very well can be. You honestly don't know enough about the people involved to say, and it comes off as really creepy when you straight-up assume that it's not.

You won't feel it when 32 and she's 29, and even less so when you're 54, and she's only 51.

It's a shame we're talking about the present, and not the far future. That logic has little bearing on what's going on right now. I wouldn't consider it reasonable for a 12-year-old to go out with a 17-year-old, but that's sure as hell different from a 40-year-old going out with a 45-year-old.

Well, squeaky did say there was just a ~3 year gap between them and that he's worried about how things will be many years from now. Age gap is a problem now... if he has no trouble dating her now, he'll have much less problem as time goes by, and post-college on, the age gap becomes almost an advantage.
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squeakyReaper

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #28 on: October 28, 2010, 10:36:10 am »

Aye, a couple of her friends think it's a bit weird but you really cannot please everyone, so I'm hardly worried about that.  It's not the age gap that bothers me much at all (It might later, but right now it hardly fazes me).  The only place that the age gap will come into play is that when she graduates from highschool I'll be graduating from college, so the whole moving/resistance to moving thing comes into place.

Not that I condone large age gaps.  It just doesn't bother me, as ethically wrong as it seems.
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Footkerchief

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Re: Is it worth it to try against the inevitable?
« Reply #29 on: October 28, 2010, 01:59:54 pm »

If you've only been dating for four months, and she's 15, and you're 18, then I'd stop worrying about your love coming to an end in two and a half years due to distance constraints.  Thinking that far ahead at your age is just silly.

Yeah, this.  If you've only began together for four months, chances are good that you'll break up for some other reason long before distance becomes an issue.  This is like a motorcyclist worrying about dying of a heart attack at age 70.
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