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[Jack A T]

So... Throw a rock into the obstacle course. Then throw a kitten into the obstacle course. Then lure an elephant (a dog, if no elephants are in the vicinity) into the obstacle course. Then carefully try to enter, making one step at a time and looking for moving parts.

I suppose, that Dorten doesn't have problem with killing animals, being a talented huner and such?

This isn't killing, this is advance scouting!  (No real problems with killing animals)

[Ottofar]

I go somewhere quiet, and attempt to summon some kind of demon.

[Sheb]

SeeingExKirby: If I lend my sex-appeal to your cause, would you help me get the throphy?

[Blackdutchie]

I shall grab the pitchfork with one hand, using the other to cut open the farmer. Preferably on the chest.

[Lemunde]

I point behind the guard and yell "It's a trap!" and then try to bash him in the head with my bone mace.

[RedWarrior0]

A comic result of the advance scouting would be that the obstacle course appears to be a metal wall. That is actually a single blade moving so fast that it only looks like a wall.

[ExKirby]

Try again... this HAS to work eventually.

[Sheb]

Well, then I'll Go on the main square and ask any woman present if she know how to get my trophy back.

[Jack A T]

TURN 5

Note about combat rolls: First roll is attacker's roll, second is defender's roll.

So... Throw a rock into the obstacle course. Then throw a kitten into the obstacle course. Then lure an elephant (a dog, if no elephants are in the vicinity) into the obstacle course. Then carefully try to enter, making one step at a time and looking for moving parts.

The rock hits the ground, and does little of worth.  The kitten (standard distraction) hits the ground, and  dies due to injuries taken from the fall.  Nothing of real worth happens.  [3] You're sure you saw an elephant for a second, but no luck.  [5] You slowly enter, and finally realize what's so dangerous about the course.  A few dozen arrows are shot at you from above, but you dodge them with awesomeness and find light shelter.

I go somewhere quiet, and attempt to summon some kind of demon.

[1]  You run off to a quieter alley, and try to summon a demon with your two stolen souls and the blood of the guard.  You manage to summon a humanoid demon about one and a half times as tall as the average human.  Sadly, you lack any control over it.

I shall grab the pitchfork with one hand, using the other to cut open the farmer. Preferably on the chest.

[3] vs [4]: You fail to get a good hold, but you deflect the pitchfork.
[1] vs [6]: ...oh.  Oh my.  This is just terrible.  You do an epic-looking bit of dexterous knife flipping, and thrust it into thin air, giving the farmer a nice opportunity to grab you and throw you off of the donkey, bruising you badly and breaking a couple of your ribs

I point behind the guard and yell "It's a trap!" and then try to bash him in the head with my bone mace.

[2] The guard is somehow not that gullible, and draws his knife.  [5] vs. [2]: You bash him in the head anyway, breaking his skull open.  Unfortunately for you, he manages to scream in terror before death.  All of the guards in the area (at least 6) seem to have been alerted.

Try again... this HAS to work eventually.

[2+1] (woo, two 3s in a row) A few of the poorer-looking people join you in the calls for revolution.

Well, then I'll Go on the main square and ask any woman present if she know how to get my trophy back.

[3+5] Searching the main square, you manage to locate a woman who tells you that the trophy has been bought by Brian Jones, bartender at the Mopcreeker Tavern.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Dorten
Name: Dorten
Song: Не стреляй
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Slingshots (1), Sneaking (1), Knives (1)
Equipment: Army Uniform, Slingshot and ammo, Knife
History: You joined the kingdom's army a few months ago, taking advantage of your natural talent at hunting.  You've gotten sick of the killing.  Your conscience is getting in the way, so you have decided to leave the army, through whatever methods required, and go back to your nice, peaceful home in Mopcreek.
Mission: Leave Army, Go Home

Ottofar
Name: Olaf
Song: Sympathy for the Devil
Race: Humanish
Gender: M
Skills: Soul-Stealing (1), Swords (1), Blood/Soul Magic (2), Disguise (2), Sandwichmaking (-6)
Equipment: Ritual supplies, guard uniform, soul-stealing rapier (unstable), 5 empty soul storage gems, 0 full soul storage gems
History: You are secretly a worshipper of the Devil.  So...yeah.  You joined the guards to look nice, get combat training, and gain the ability to break in to peoples' houses more easily.  You know how to bring powerful evils to the world through the use of blood and souls.  What you don't know is how to make a sandwich.  That won't matter much, however, when Mopcreek is destroyed.
Mission: Destroy Mopcreek

Blackdutchie
Name: Ulli
Song: Ursvamp - Fintroll
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Wilderness Lore (1), Knives (1), Sneaking (1)
Equipment: Light clothing, hunting knife, donkey
History: You are one of the mayor's own adventurers.  The mayor is horribly sick.  You have been sent to locate an ancient mushroom thought to be the only cure for the mayor's disease.  The mushroom is thought to be guarded by trolls.  Good luck.
Mission: Bring mushroom to mayor
Injuries: -1 to physical rolls! Light right leg stab wound (bleeding), moderate torso bruises, two broken ribs

Sheb
Name:Sheb
Song: Ding ding dong
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Seduction (5), Brawling (1), Sneaking (-4), Weaponized Seduction (1)
Equipment: Clothing
History: You are officially the most attractive man in Mopcreek.  You have slept with more women than you can count.  One of them stole your priceless Most Attractive Man in Mopcreek trophy.
Mission: Recover the trophy

ExKirby
Name: Alexander
Song: Holiday
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Axes (1), Stealth (1), Persuasion (1)
Equipment: Clothing, hatchet, bandages, inspiring revolutionary banner/cloak (+1 to persuading rebels)
History: You have become tired of the mayor's incompetence.  You are tired of watching him send adventurers to die.  You're angry.  Angry enough to start a rebellion.
Mission: Rebel, kill the mayor

Lemunde
Name: Kane
Song: God of Wind
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Maces (1), Stealth (-1), Wilderness Lore (1)
Equipment: Leather armor, bone mace, magic mushrooms
History: You are a berserker from a clan that lives near Mopcreek.  While hallucinating, you saw a vision of a bear.  Said bear claimed that you could become a god of wind by killing it and wearing it.  Unfortunately, the only bear in the surrounding area is in the Mopcreek zoo.
Mission: Kill and loot bear, escape

[ExKirby]

SeeingExKirby: If I lend my sex-appeal to your cause, would you help me get the throphy?

With pleasure.

MORE RECRUITMENT!

[Sheb]

Go the Mopcreeper Tavern and ask for my trophy. When he refuses to give it back to me (What kind of DM would make the quest that easy?) Go outside and shout "Death to the thief! Qui m'aime me suive!" (Qui m'aime me suive is a french idiom which mean "Anyone loving me follow me."

[Blackdutchie]

I shall plead with the farmer to just give me his donkey because it's for the good of the king.
If that fails, i will give the donkey a cut, turning it into a distraction, and i shall run home to gather my brothers and ask old father for advice.

[Lemunde]

I fly into a rage and start attacking all the guards.

[Ottofar]

I run.

[Jack A T]

Just waiting for Dorten now...