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[Ottofar]

I take off my guard armor, and loot some normal clothes, then approach the leader with my newly worn disguise.

"Hi, guise! What were we doing here again, I took a hard hit to my head and got some kind of memory-amnesia-thing?"

[Dorten]

I go to my officer-in-command and play sissy, so he gets disgusted and lets me go

SURPRISE!!!

[Sensei]

Huh, didn't know someone got another one of these going. Pretty cool.

[Lemunde]

With a battlecry I immediately attack the bear with my bone mace. "Your skin is mine!"

[Jack A T]

TURN 10

Rush the rebels and search the house for my trophy.

[5] You charge through the rebels, search the house, and find a secret door.  Opening it, you find a secret storeroom, full of fancy-looking weapons, tools, armor, and...hey, that's your trophy over there.  You swiftly grab it.  As you grab it, however, one of the suits of armor comes to life and grabs a nice-looking sledgehammer.

Retrieve the mushroom and return to the mayoral mansion post-haste!

[5] You do so.  Locating and grabbing the mushroom, you return to the mayor's house/office.  It appears to be under attack.

I take off my guard armor, and loot some normal clothes, then approach the leader with my newly worn disguise.

"Hi, guise! What were we doing here again, I took a hard hit to my head and got some kind of memory-amnesia-thing?"

You start to do this, but the apparent leader charges into the house.

I go to my officer-in-command and play sissy, so he gets disgusted and lets me go

[5] “...How did you...oh, come on...get out of here.”  Yes, you've just been kicked out of the army for being the wrong person for the job.

With a battlecry I immediately attack the bear with my bone mace. "Your skin is mine!"

[6] You smash the bear so hard that its skin falls off and flies onto you.  Don't ask how this happened.

Alexander and his rebels vandalize the mayor's house a bit.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Dorten
Name: Dorten
Song: Не стреляй
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Slingshots (1), Sneaking (1), Knives (1)
Equipment: Army Uniform, Slingshot and ammo, Knife
History: You joined the kingdom's army a few months ago, taking advantage of your natural talent at hunting.  You've gotten sick of the killing.  Your conscience is getting in the way, so you have decided to leave the army, through whatever methods required, and go back to your nice, peaceful home in Mopcreek.
Mission: Leave Army, Go Home

Ottofar
Name: Olaf
Song: Sympathy for the Devil
Race: Humanish
Gender: M
Skills: Soul-Stealing (1), Swords (1), Blood/Soul Magic (2), Disguise (2), Sandwichmaking (-6)
Equipment: Ritual supplies, guard uniform, soul-stealing rapier (unstable), 4 empty soul storage gems, 1 full soul storage gem
History: You are secretly a worshipper of the Devil.  So...yeah.  You joined the guards to look nice, get combat training, and gain the ability to break in to peoples' houses more easily.  You know how to bring powerful evils to the world through the use of blood and souls.  What you don't know is how to make a sandwich.  That won't matter much, however, when Mopcreek is destroyed.
Mission: Destroy Mopcreek

Blackdutchie
Name: Ulli
Song: Ursvamp - Fintroll
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Wilderness Lore (1), Knives (1), Sneaking (1)
Equipment: Light clothing, hunting knife, giant boar
History: You are one of the mayor's own adventurers.  The mayor is horribly sick.  You have been sent to locate an ancient mushroom thought to be the only cure for the mayor's disease.  The mushroom is thought to be guarded by trolls.  Good luck.
Mission: Bring mushroom to mayor
Injuries: -1 to many physical rolls! Light right leg stab wound, moderate torso bruises, two broken ribs, bruised face

Sheb
Name:Sheb
Song: Ding ding dong
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Seduction (5), Brawling (1), Sneaking (-4), Weaponized Seduction (1)
Equipment: Clothing, Trophy
History: You are officially the most attractive man in Mopcreek.  You have slept with more women than you can count.  One of them stole your priceless Most Attractive Man in Mopcreek trophy.
Mission: Recover the trophy

ExKirby
Name: Alexander
Song: Holiday
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Axes (1), Stealth (1), Persuasion (1)
Equipment: Clothing, hatchet, bandages, inspiring revolutionary banner/cloak (+1 to persuading rebels)
History: You have become tired of the mayor's incompetence.  You are tired of watching him send adventurers to die.  You're angry.  Angry enough to start a rebellion.
Mission: Rebel, kill the mayor

Lemunde
Name: Kane
Song: God of Wind
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Maces (1), Stealth (-1), Wilderness Lore (1)
Equipment: Leather armor, bone mace, magic mushrooms, bear skin
History: You are a berserker from a clan that lives near Mopcreek.  While hallucinating, you saw a vision of a bear.  Said bear claimed that you could become a god of wind by killing it and wearing it.  Unfortunately, the only bear in the surrounding area is in the Mopcreek zoo.
Mission: Kill and loot bear, escape
Injuries: Light cut on left arm (bleeding)

[Sheb]

"Hey sweetie, want me to grease your joints?"

In case I fail and survive the failure, I just run back screaming.

[Dorten]

Travel to Mopcreek, hoping for peaceful life. Sing jolly songs on the way.

[Blackdutchie]

Sneak into the mayor's home and away from the crowd of angry rebels towards the mayor's sickbed, and use the mushroom to awaken the Legendary Warrior-Mayor.

[Lemunde]

I take the bear's claws.

[Ottofar]

Is there any chance there may be some kind of gunpowder tower?

If yes, blow it up.

If no, blow the castle up with magic.
Or rush in. Whichever's easier.

[ExKirby]

LET'S BLOW THIS JOINT (and I mean that literally)

[Jack A T]

TURN 11

"Hey sweetie, want me to grease your joints?"

In case I fail and survive the failure, I just run back screaming.

[6+5-4]...oh.  Wow.  You somehow manage to seduce the ANIMATED ARMOR, which, for some reason, allows you to wear it.  And wield the sledgehammer.  This is going to be awesome.

Travel to Mopcreek, hoping for peaceful life. Sing jolly songs on the way.

You eventually make it to the gates of Mopcreek...which happen to be locked.

Sneak into the mayor's home and away from the crowd of angry rebels towards the mayor's sickbed, and use the mushroom to awaken the Legendary Warrior-Mayor.

[6+1] Leaving your boar outside, you manage to sneak through the mayor's home, to the mayor.  You hand him the mushroom.  He tells you to acquire the sacred cup (which, for some reason, had been used as some guy's trophy) from his secret storeroom.  Also, a bit of holy water would be nice.

I take the bear's claws.

You do so.

Is there any chance there may be some kind of gunpowder tower?

If yes, blow it up.

If no, blow the castle up with magic.
Or rush in. Whichever's easier.

You blast the house with an epic magical blast, powered by the soul you've stolen...[1]...or not.  The spell fizzles, and the soul storage gem shatters.

LET'S BLOW THIS JOINT (and I mean that literally)

You search for some explosives. [3] The search doesn't go well.

Spoiler: Players (click to show/hide)

Dorten
Name: Dorten
Song: Не стреляй
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Slingshots (1), Sneaking (1), Knives (1)
Equipment: Army Uniform, Slingshot and ammo, Knife
History: You joined the kingdom's army a few months ago, taking advantage of your natural talent at hunting.  You've gotten sick of the killing.  Your conscience is getting in the way, so you have decided to leave the army, through whatever methods required, and go back to your nice, peaceful home in Mopcreek.
Mission: Leave Army, Go Home

Ottofar
Name: Olaf
Song: Sympathy for the Devil
Race: Humanish
Gender: M
Skills: Soul-Stealing (1), Swords (1), Blood/Soul Magic (2), Disguise (2), Sandwichmaking (-6)
Equipment: Ritual supplies, guard uniform, soul-stealing rapier (unstable), 4 empty soul storage gems
History: You are secretly a worshipper of the Devil.  So...yeah.  You joined the guards to look nice, get combat training, and gain the ability to break in to peoples' houses more easily.  You know how to bring powerful evils to the world through the use of blood and souls.  What you don't know is how to make a sandwich.  That won't matter much, however, when Mopcreek is destroyed.
Mission: Destroy Mopcreek

Blackdutchie
Name: Ulli
Song: Ursvamp - Fintroll
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Wilderness Lore (1), Knives (1), Sneaking (1)
Equipment: Light clothing, hunting knife, giant boar (outside)
History: You are one of the mayor's own adventurers.  The mayor is horribly sick.  You have been sent to locate an ancient mushroom thought to be the only cure for the mayor's disease.  The mushroom is thought to be guarded by trolls.  Good luck.
Mission: Bring mushroom to mayor
Injuries: -1 to many physical rolls! Light right leg stab wound, moderate torso bruises, two broken ribs, bruised face

Sheb
Name:Sheb
Song: Ding ding dong
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Seduction (5), Brawling (1), Sneaking (-4), Weaponized Seduction (1)
Equipment: Clothing, Trophy, Magic Sledgehammer, Magic Armor
History: You are officially the most attractive man in Mopcreek.  You have slept with more women than you can count.  One of them stole your priceless Most Attractive Man in Mopcreek trophy.
Mission: Recover the trophy

ExKirby
Name: Alexander
Song: Holiday
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Axes (1), Stealth (1), Persuasion (1)
Equipment: Clothing, hatchet, bandages, inspiring revolutionary banner/cloak (+1 to persuading rebels)
History: You have become tired of the mayor's incompetence.  You are tired of watching him send adventurers to die.  You're angry.  Angry enough to start a rebellion.
Mission: Rebel, kill the mayor

Lemunde
Name: Kane
Song: God of Wind
Race: Human
Gender: M
Skills: Maces (1), Stealth (-1), Wilderness Lore (1)
Equipment: Leather armor, bone mace, magic mushrooms, bear skin, bear claws
History: You are a berserker from a clan that lives near Mopcreek.  While hallucinating, you saw a vision of a bear.  Said bear claimed that you could become a god of wind by killing it and wearing it.  Unfortunately, the only bear in the surrounding area is in the Mopcreek zoo.
Mission: Kill and loot bear, escape
Injuries: Light cut on left arm (bleeding)

[ExKirby]

To the gunpowder storage room!

[Blackdutchie]

Exclaim, in a loud and domineering voice: 'You will eat that and you will like it, and you better have eaten it before I come back!'
Then, run back to my boar and ride it to the secret storage room, looking for the trophy mug.

[Ottofar]

I go in the castle, looking for jewellery.