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[breadbocks]

We already keeled it.

[JoshBrickstien]

We already keeled it.

This is correct.

[Tarran]

Try to light our Fire Cracker. Then throw it in a group of small creatures. While they're distracted, proceed blast them into a green mist.

[Phantom]

Yell: "HEY LOOK AN ARCHVILLE!"
And then run away.

[JoshBrickstien]

Try to light our Fire Cracker. Then throw it in a group of small creatures. While they're distracted, proceed blast them into a green mist.

You consider lighting your Firecracker and distracting the creatures, but you have no Ignition sources.  You slowly back away, to the barricade, and turn around to ask the Defenders if they have any lighters. That's when you discover they are dead. This bodes ill. You also make note that one of them is still moving... Though it appears to have one of the crab-things on it's head. As you ponder this, you look into the Hunting store. Another of those tall Bipedal creatures. You unleash Justice upon it with your shotgun. However, you miss it's head, and merely hit it's body. It seems to be clinging on very loosely to life. It holds up it's hands and seems to slowly charge up static electricity. However, it dies of blood loss shortly there after, before it can do anything else to you. This bodes very ill.

Name: Jacques Beaumont
Date: May 16, 2009 [9:20]
Location: Earth, North America, United States, New Mexico, Hunting Store
Status: Human
Health: Perfect

Weapons: Couch Leg with Screw Driver attached {M} - Hammer {M} - Baseball bat {M} - Crowbar {M} - Nail Gun {R} - Sledge Hammer with Knife attached {M} - Spaz 12 {R}
Munitions: 80 Shotgun Shells - 12 Shotgun Slugs - 25 Nails

Wearing: Casual clothing covered with Yellowish-green slime
Inventory: Soda - 9 assorted Kitchen knives - Duct tape 97% - Canned goods x35 - bottled water x8 - Fire cracker - Screwdrivers - Pain killers - Cell Phone - Empty Notebook and pencil

[Tarran]

If I'm not mistaken, those crab creatures are Head Crabs, or at least something like them.

FFGFHGHGREGDFHFGFH

Hmmm...

Go to the nearest military base. It's our only hope...

[JoshBrickstien]

If I'm not mistaken, those crab creatures are Head Crabs, or at least something like them.

FFGFHGHGREGDFHFGFH

Hmmm...

Go to the nearest military base. It's our only hope...

Warning, True spoilers contained:
Do not read if you want to be surprised by anything that's about to happen

Spoiler: Warning :Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yes, they are Headcrabs. For those who haven't figured it out already (which seems like all of you, and I don't blame you) This all takes place on the day of the Black Mesa incident. Hence the exact date and time of when hell broke loose. Granted, the year being 2009 is not confirmed by Valve, as they have only said it was 200-, not saying what the last year was. I put it at 2009 so as to be at the far end of the spectrum. Here's to hoping Jacques makes it to the Rise and Fall of City 17.
Also, the Bipedal green things are Vortigaunts. The other HL1 enemies will come soon. Just be glad I haven't thrown any Hunters in yet.

[KaguroDraven]

Obviously the only way out of this is to grab a crowbar.

[breadbocks]

^^^^

I had kinda guessed what the reference is, and the HC's sealed the deal.

[JoshBrickstien]

Go to the nearest military base. It's our only hope...

Failing coming up with any better ideas, you mount your Bike for the several mile ride to the nearest military base. You wonder if this is happening all over the world, or if it's just in your city.
You suspect that an alien race capable of teleporting in from another dimension wouldn't be limited to your Suburban area.
After a Good Hour's bike, you arrive at the base. It seems they are having trouble as well. However, on the bike ride here, you had to stop several times to shoot creatures in your way, consuming some of your Shotgun Shells. You have also taken small amounts of damage from being knocked off of your bike by the crabs.

Obviously the only way out of this is to grab a crowbar.

You already have a Crowbar. you picked it up in your house, remember?

Spoiler: additional stuff for the lolz (click to show/hide)

You briefly consider dialing 911, but you suppose they already know about the emergency. And even if they didn't, can you imagine being called by someone saying they were being attacked by alien crabs?

Name: Jacques Beaumont
Date: May 16, 2009 [9:20]
Location: Earth, North America, United States, New Mexico, Hunting Store
Status: Human
Health: Slightly nicked up

Weapons: Couch Leg with Screw Driver attached {M} - Hammer {M} - Baseball bat {M} - Crowbar {M} - Nail Gun {R} - Sledge Hammer with Knife attached {M} - Spaz 12 {R}
Munitions: 72 Shotgun Shells - 12 Shotgun Slugs - 25 Nails

Wearing: Casual clothing covered with Yellowish-green slime
Inventory: Soda - 9 assorted Kitchen knives - Duct tape 97% - Canned goods x35 - bottled water x8 - Fire cracker - Screwdrivers - Pain killers - Cell Phone - Empty Notebook and pencil

[breadbocks]

Wear a crab as a hat.

[Tarran]

Assist the military personnel.

Wear a crab as a hat.

...

...

...No. NONONOONOONONONO.

[KaguroDraven]

Wear a crab as a hat.

Eat a crab.

[breadbocks]

I said. Wear. A. Crab.

[KaguroDraven]

Compromise? Eat one crab while wearing another?