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[Heron TSG]

Even better would be to invite somebody from his family over who doesn't know what a bong is and flaunt how it's a vase to him and his family member. He can't get outwardly angry at you because he would need to explain what a bong is.

This sounds pretty good. It's like the vase idea, but with more action. I didn't think it was possible, but new things happen every day.

[Master Catfish]

Yeah, the vase idea is a good one.  Hot sauce/mace eventually if he doesn't get the picture.  His bong is very well resined and is not particularly attractive to look at any more. So it wouldn't make a very nice vase. 

I'm quite sure all of his family is aware that he smokes.  They're all old hippies, or siblings.  So forcing an awkward situation is not really possible.  Even if it were, his personality is such that he would be not be phased. 

I'll not use the vodka if there's a chance it will result in a lot of fire and burns.  I believe you need 50% alcohol for it to burn in liquid form, but it's definitely not worth the risk. 

I can't help but think he might be rewarded by finding a flower in his bong though.  He'll think something like,"Hey, if I leave my bong in my room then I wont get to look at a pretty flower while I get high." 

[Virex]

Just put in a pretty bouquet, then both of you are happy

[blackmagechill]

Pee in it

This, and the flower idea.

[winner]

Buy or pick some flowers, use it as a vase every time he leaves it out.

This is the best idea so far.

THis is the one you should do, it doesn't make enemies and is fairly funny.

[RedWarrior0]

Put beer in it. Sort of not quite like putting vodka in it, plus you get a beer bong.

[hemmingjay]

I may or may not have some expertise on this matter 

Why not solve the problem by creating a cool way to camouflage it. Trying to change his behavior is foolish for the many reasons you have listed. And technically, you are the one who has a problem with it(justifiably so). Your problem = your solution.

Also, I or someone like me used to add Southern Comfort to his bong for flavor and the buzz from alcohol vapors. It's amazing how much bad information people will pass around on the internet. It would be very unlikely for even pure grain alcohol to ignite while smoking a waterpipe. The flame from the lighter will not travel the entire length of the metal bowl and pipe pieces and even then it is submerged in the end. If a piece of hot ash was to get sucked in it would be extinguished as well. You need 3 things for fire: spark, oxygen, and fuel. The idea of it combusting and then traveling more than a couple of inches is as I said, highly unlikely, but I would not say impossible if using some sort of fuel between Everclear and Jet fuel.

[Melagius]

Hide it, then tell him where it is through the medium of expressive dance.

Otherwise, replace the water with Vodka.

Possible horrible fucking idea.

My friend was telling me of people who did that with a hookah, it crystallized in their lungs and killed them.

[Fossaman]

Hide it, then tell him where it is through the medium of expressive dance.

Otherwise, replace the water with Vodka.

Possible horrible fucking idea.

My friend was telling me of people who did that with a hookah, it crystallized in their lungs and killed them.

Yeah, expressive dance can be lethal.

[Enzo]

My friend was telling me of people who did that with a hookah, it crystallized in their lungs and killed them.

My friend was telling me about a guy who ate a watermelon seed, 3 months later he shit a watermelon. I'm calling bullshit on this.

[Master Catfish]

Yeah, I've never heard of alcohol crystallizing either.  I imagine it would take an extremely low temperature for that to occur.  I can see maybe inhaling fumes and asphyxiating, but that wouldn't happen if they took a breath between hits.

My friend was telling me about a guy who ate a watermelon seed, 3 months later he shit a watermelon.

I can confirm this.  I shit watermelons fairly regularly.  Good for the digestive system.

[Sir Pseudonymous]

Yeah, inhaling alcohol fumes isn't dangerous in the least, at least not more so than drinking it. Alcohol wouldn't crystallize in your lungs unless you're internal body temperature was so low you'd have long since been dead. There's even apparently an alcohol vaporizer that was put on the market a while back (and banned in North Carolina (and only North Carolina, apparently), because of the efforts of some preacher screaming about how "that there delivery system be evil causin it's so fast and don't give no hangovers what are GODS PUNISHMENT FOR DRINKEN SATAN JUICE!"), at least according to a post on some liquor review site.

[nenjin]

I'd say the quickest way to turn this from a prank into a domestic dispute would be to screw with the man's stash.

Replacing bong water with something is one thing. Lacing his weed is basically an invitation for an ass beating. Not to mention you don't know what you could do to him if he sparks up a bowl of, say, nutmeg.

Or let me put it a way people that don't do drugs can understand. It'd be like getting diaherria and wiping your ass all over someone else's car seats.

You want the BEST way to get his attention?

Smash a glass bottle bottle and leave the pieces all over the table. He'll walk in and the first thing he'll think is you've assassinated his bong. He'll figure it out quickly that you didn't, but it'll remind him not to leave that stuff lying around.

[Ø]

edit oops

Yeah it's a very bad idea to screw with his stash. I think the flower thing is harmless enough though if you kept the flowers and water for them in a separate container, like a baggie, inside of the bong. Making him think you smashed his bong might get his attention, but he'd probably be pretty pissed and would not be amused even after he found out you didn't.

[Master Catfish]

Actually, I really like the idea of making him think his bong had been broken.  It would be hard to get the right color of glass, but that sort of prank is my favorite kind.  Not so different from leaving fake cat poop in someones bed.  Initially, the pranked person is horrified, but then relieved when they find it to have only been a joke.  He'd think it was funny, and it would get the message across.

However, it looks like the most effective thing to do was to make this thread, and then show it to him.  That was part of my intent all along, and it did the trick nicely.  I have not seen his bong since I showed him this thread.

Thanks folks!