Whoooo boy.
Once was a child, this hero we see /
Clothed in the trappings of his destiny /
Rode to the base of the Life-Giving Tree /
Fruit in its branches, acquired with glee /
Eaten, consumed and devoured to wit /
Intestinal poisoning, that stupid git /
Regretted at once, that apple he bit /
Fell to the ground; he convulsed in a fit /
Once but a corpse on the side of the road /
None but the cold earth to offer abode /
Necromancy, to which his debt is owed /
Rose from the ground craving brains à la mode /
'Twas hubris that caused this tragic demise /
This unhallowed corpse; forgotten blood ties /
Shrunken black pits where there once had been eyes /
"Will that be all, Sir, or would you like fries?"
Kindly old man: "What? You want to hear one of my absolutely true tales of the past? Oh, alright.
Once there was a lad named Alfred. He thought he had magic powers. One day, he decided to steal an apple from a witch's tree. It was the best apple he'd ever eaten, despite the deadly poison running through it. He died, of course. Time passed, and the world entered another ice age. One day, Alfred rose up as a zombie. People were terrified, but he had no interest in eating brains. His only purpose was to obey the witch's last order, and obey it he did: preserve the witch's long-forgotten knowledge.
I think I have a clue of where it might be ..."
Kindly old man: "Hey, do you have any magic scrolls written by zombies for sale?"
Clerk: "..."
Panel 1:
Character 1: Well, before you take a decision, let me tell you a story.
Panel 2 (Character 1 is narrator)
Character 1: Once upon a time was a young man, strong and handsome, but poor. In order to make some money, he got a job, and dangerous one: collecting magic apple.
Panel 3:
Character 1 (Still narrator): He managed to steal the wizard's apples, but not to flee before getting curse. On his way back, he was so hungry he bit one of the apples, and instantly fell dead.
Panel 4:
Character 1 (Still narrator): But his sense of duty was so strong to he raised from among the dead and came back to his village, not caring about the scare he cause.
Panel 5:
Character 1 (still narrator): All that so that he could bring the apples back to his employers, the White Mage, that turned them into this here magic potion!
Panel 6:
Character 2 (to character 1): Still, I think 25 gold coins is too much for that Vial of Gra!
"Welcome to my Tavern dear sir! What will you be having today?"
"Hmmm... What's good?"
"Well, we've got special applejuice!
A long time ago, a man was picking apples from a sacred tree. When he was done, he ate one, and died. But he became a ghost, who could not find peace until he sold his basket of apples.
However, everyone would turn and run at the sight of him, and he could not sell them. At long last, he sold them to little red ridinghood, who then made juice from the apples, and that's what I'm selling!"
"...Nah, I'll pass."
Man 1: Oh look at this amazing tavern, I think I will go inside for a snack. (Does so)
*Man 1 sits down, and a waiter bring him a menu.
Man 1: I believe I shall have this item.
*Switch view to a man lying in an apple orchard, with apple cores around him.
*Man 2 holds an apple, and chases Man 1 with it
Man 2: I'm going to get you!
*MANLY MAN 3 grabs the apple, and kicks Man 2
MANLY MAN 3: THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!
*View changes back to the tavern, where Man 1 has exploded, leaving only his lower legs standing.
Panel 1: *Bar* A walks into a bar. B is barman.
Panel 2: A sits on a bar stool. B offers a bottle of tequila.
Panel 3: *Garden of Eden* C is sitting under an apple tree lifting weights.
Panel 4: D comes,holding an apple.
Panel 5: C:"OMGWTFBBQ"
Panel 6: D chases C.
Panel 7: E the bodybuilder steps in between C and D and gestures at D to stop.
Panel 8: D stops. D:"What do you want?"
Panel 9: E:"THIS IS SPARTA!" E kicks D into chasm.
Panel 10:*Bar* As upper body implodes. B:"WhatisthisIdon'teven-"
Author
Topic: Re: Telephone Comics Round 4: Open Enrollment! Free Freedom! Less Filling! (Read 21464 times)