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[King Zultan]

I do not see the appeal of a bidet.

[ChairmanPoo]

I do not see the appeal of a bidet.

That's because you're an unwashed barbarian with a dirty butt

[hector13]

I do not see the appeal of a bidet.

Contrast how many times you have to wipe to get clean and how many times you have to use the bidet to get clean.

[Akura]

The plumbing at home crapped out today. That means no bathroom, I've got a painfully irritable bowel that I've been holding all day. And of course my mom waits until I've left work and already leaving the parking lot to tell me, or else I'd have just gone at work. And it won't get fixed until at least tomorrow. And that's if my stepdad's narcoleptic ass can actually be bothered to do it.

[Sirus]

This may or may not be possible depending on your financial situation, but I'd just pack dinner and an overnight bag, and check in at a nearby hotel for the night. It might not be the most comfortable experience, but at least the plumbing would probably work.

And I just realized that this was four hours ago, so uh, hope things are working out for you Akura.

[Akura]

Hotel is out of the question, there aren't any near me. Just one motel, the kind that advertises "hourly rates", but the idea is overkill anyway.

We do have this sort of chamber pot, the kind you'd probably find in a physically disabled person or something like that. I think my mom said her doctor gave it to her for stool collection, but I doubt that since for the sample collections I've had to give I got a plastic insert for the toilet seat. It's very uncomfortable to sit on. We line it with a plastic shopping bag, which is then placed into the garbage bag. I follow that up with a blast of Lysol; my parents don't. Fun fact, the bathroom is located in the interior of the house, meaning no windows, just a ventilation fan in the ceiling that my stepdad disabled due to noise and power costs.


Over 24 hours later the plumbing is still not fixed. My stepdad thinks it's possible to shower, but I'm not trusting him on that.

[EuchreJack]

Well, public bathrooms are a thing. Walmart, grocery stores, convenience stores, gas stations, park restrooms, etc.

[Akura]

Well, the plumbing is "mostly" fixed. Apparently, the people who built the house put a narrower pipe near the septic trap, which clogged. They cut a lot of corners, for example the wiring had to be pretty much completely replaced when we bought it - one of the outlets in my room had scorch marks around it when I moved in.

[Eric Blank]

Sounds like what the old man that sold us this property did; zero contractors, nothing up to any code, "septic tank" turned out to be one of those water tanks with the steel ribs flipped upside down and buried - which they are not built to withstand by any means. We didn't have plumbing for three months while a septic tank was shipped across the country.

[EuchreJack]

Would you rather have your penis chopped off or serve 3-5 years in prison*? Child rapists in Louisiana may be faced with that choice in August.

*Presumably an extra 3-5 years....

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

If an offender “fails to appear or refuses to undergo” surgical castration after a judge orders the procedure, they could be hit with “failure to comply” charge and face an additional three to five years in prison, based on the bill’s language.

https://apnews.com/article/louisiana-surgical-castration-sex-crime-offender-234cdd9da804382d90dec409756dc445

Hm, but what about the wrongly-convicted?

[pisskop]

Im sorry surgical castration?  I thought the new trend was towards chemical solutions?

And also, nah, Im good, let me keep my bits

[hector13]

Something you want to tell us there, pisskop?

[pisskop]

Id make a poor eunuch

[hector13]

Speaking of balls, I just learned one surefire way of distracting yourself from a sore knee is to get a kick in the nut from your toddler.

[King Zultan]

Why cut their nuts off, when the only real way to deal with pedophiles is to shot them, which is also cheaper than surgery.