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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14935921 times)

wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160380 on: July 20, 2022, 07:44:53 am »

"pop tarts" are an extremely overhyped toaster pastry.

Basically, an unleavened 'flour paste' based crust, similar to pie crust but not anywhere near as good (since it isnt flaky), surrounding a sweetened fruit preserves/puree/jam filling, with a hard frosting smear on top.
I believe it is an attempt by US Mass Marketing giant, Kellogg foods, to produce mass-market "Slab Pie".

Pillsbury toaster strudel is infinitely superior as a product (in that the crust actually puffs when you toast it, but the filling is still inferior to anything home-made), but lacks the "It can survive a nuclear war" shelf stability of the former, and must remain frozen until ready to toast. (Poptart is stored room temperature as an imperishable.)




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Mathel

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160381 on: July 20, 2022, 09:03:28 am »

My mother is convinced peanut butter, Ritz and Wheat Thins brand crackers, and pop tarts are all banned/near-impossible to acquire in Europe (generic "Europe", guessing EU)
Living in Czech Republic:
Peanut butter is rare, but can be acquired. I do not know Ritz, Wheat Thins, or pop tarts.
My guess is that they aren't banned, but there is not sufficient interest for them to be sold in most stores.
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EuchreJack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160382 on: July 20, 2022, 10:53:33 am »

Pillsbury toaster strudel is infinitely superior as a product (in that the crust actually puffs when you toast it, but the filling is still inferior to anything home-made), but lacks the "It can survive a nuclear war" shelf stability of the former, and must remain frozen until ready to toast. (Poptart is stored room temperature as an imperishable.)
You also have to put the frosting on yourself after toasting it. I mean, yeah, it's better frosting, but who has time for that?
EDIT: Added "after toasting it" for safety reasons.

Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160383 on: July 20, 2022, 12:38:33 pm »

I mean, you don't have to. You can also just not eat the frosting (this is actually one of my preferred ways to do it, because the things are fine without and then I can put the frosting on something else later, like toast or whatev'), or just eat the frosting straight from the dispenser. You don't have to put it on the pastry.
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Egan_BW

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160384 on: July 20, 2022, 04:36:57 pm »

How many people actually toast poptarts? Toasting them doesn't really make them better so they're more of a thing you can stick in your mouth in the morning / when you're lazy and desire sugar.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160385 on: July 20, 2022, 04:41:13 pm »

Yeah to me those are just a "shove it in your mouth so you have a morning calorie" sort of item.
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TamerVirus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160386 on: July 20, 2022, 04:42:11 pm »

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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160387 on: July 20, 2022, 04:45:53 pm »

How many people actually toast poptarts? Toasting them doesn't really make them better so they're more of a thing you can stick in your mouth in the morning / when you're lazy and desire sugar.
I've done it occasionally. It doesn't necessarily make them better, but it does make them different, and sometimes that's enough, y'know? Plus if you're doing something fancy you might want it easier to melt things on them, like marshmallows or whatev'.
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EuchreJack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160388 on: July 20, 2022, 07:31:57 pm »

Well, they at least picked the best poptarts to rebrand.

Criptfeind

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160389 on: July 20, 2022, 09:13:13 pm »

I feel like this is going to be blasphemy to say, but I actually sorta like pop tarts... Not like, a lot, but I think they are decent. Better then toaster strudel, since toaster strudel really is just bottom of the (trash, not grocery) bin quality pastry. Pop tarts aren't good either, but they have this kinda unique dry crumbly texture to the pastry that I like. Although name brand pop tarts are almost uneatable in how sweet they are imo, the generic brand is much better balanced.
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King Zultan

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160390 on: July 21, 2022, 02:33:01 am »

I feel it depends on the flavor as to weather or not they're good, I tried the cinnamon ones and they are nasty.
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scriver

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160391 on: July 21, 2022, 02:57:10 am »

Pop tarts is one of the American Things I'd like to try. It seems very strange to me to put the jam on before you toast the bread.

I hate it when American Things overtakes our Things though. Fuck you, Oreos. We have our own shitty sugarfilled crackers. I'd take Ballerinas or Singoallas over you any day. Don't you come over here.
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wierd

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160392 on: July 21, 2022, 03:02:01 am »

The Hydrox cookie wants a word with you...

Also, poptart is not worth your time. You can actually taste the reduced iron they add to the flour. Or at least, I can.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160393 on: July 21, 2022, 03:02:09 am »

You won't revel in the glories of pop tarts either. They're stale, dry, and have only the tiniest sliver of filling in them anyway. At least save yourself a couple bucks and buy the off brand ones.
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King Zultan

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #160394 on: July 21, 2022, 03:05:57 am »

But the off brand I like don't exist anymore.
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