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[LordBaal]

Hello kid! How are you? And your kittens?

[methylatedspirit]

I've actually been doing really well! Mental health-wise, I'm just been enjoying life quite a lot. College... "eh" is my best response. I'm doing it. I'm slogging through it.

...the kittens, I'm sorry to say, I don't know. The mother avoided me throughout the semester, and the kittens were nowhere to be found. I'm hoping they're living a good life.

[dragdeler]

a

[scriver]

Welcome back into our lives, meth! You've been missed.

[Vector]

In the meantime, I've been... discovering myself? Let's see, I'm now a girl (for some small and variable measure of "girl"), I've gone from being merely Linux-curious to being a Linux zealot (I still don't use Arch btw), and found people who I'd trust with my life. I hate my parents now, but that was inevitable, just that being around people I identify with accelerated that process. Standard LGBT adolescent/young-adult things, you know.

Anyway, my WTF here is that Bay12 has remained mostly static for that long. I've become accustomed to Discord servers being fast-moving things, where people cycle in and out at breakneck pace. The "famous people" on $SERVER today might not be the same in one month. Here, it's remained the same. I still recognize everyone posting in GD, as I did all those months ago. Ah, it's good to come back to something familiar.

LOL. Welcome home darling!

Not sure if you mean "fluid" by variable but you might want to connect with hops either way. She (I think those are the correct pronouns right now) also grew up on the forums u_u

[itisnotlogical]

My cancer is in my brain currently. Besides just having a hard time remembering and figuring things out, a lot of bizarre things that I could never have imagined have taken place over the last 3-4 months.

• I'm a follower of an obscure former musician and current Twitch streamer who goes by "MadHatter" (yes, currently his legal name) or "RetroGameChampion" (on Twitch.) While I was only semi-conscious after a seizure, I started sharing his music with my mother because I finally felt like I understood some of the lyrics, while at the same time keeping in touch with him through his Discord. After serving as an in-between for them, MadHatter is asking if my mother could update everyone in his Discord server if something comes up and I can't do so myself. This person a little under twice my age who I've idolized since I was a preteen. Imagine if Toady or (insert relevant celebrity) expressed sincere condolences about your pet dying. Then imagine if they were "famous" to you and maybe 10 other people in the whole world.
• My ex-wife, who I haven't seen for at least a year, is telling our mutual friends that I've died. Once when I was literally mid-conversation with them. Not only is this an incredibly hurtful betrayal of the deepest trust I've ever held, it's completely and utterly baffling. I don't think I could understand it even if I were thinking clearly.
• Another ex of mine, my first ever "serious" partner, who now identifies as "trans nonbinary" (whatever that means, I genuinely do not understand) reached out to apologize for the way they handled themselves in high school after roughly six years of complete non-contact. There is no way I could have foreseen this, I thought they were gone from my life for good, and now we're calling and texting like we've been best friends the whole time.
• My mother has been violently anti-marijuana her whole life. Once I was formally diagnosed with cancer, all it took was some alt-health lunatic on Facebook to convince her that I need the ganja in my life like, yesterday. I'm not complaining, just... baffled.

[Vector]

You've got a lot going on in your life right now ...

If you need someone to talk with about what "nonbinary" is, I'm happy to help

[itisnotlogical]

I know what "trans" and "non-binary" mean individually. I'm just not clear what it means when they're combined like that.

EDIT: They messaged back and explained, they don't consider themselves male or female.

[Vector]

Yes, "nonbinary" is an umbrella term for identities that are not just male or female. It's sometimes considered to be more of a sexual identity (like butch in the context of lesbianism) and sometimes considered to be more related to gender, in which case the person in question will often also identify as trans.

Anywho that's pretty cool! Yay friendship!

[dragdeler]

a

[Akura]

I, uh, almost got hit by a tornado on the way home from work today. About 5 minutes away from home, rain was sideways and half of it wasn't raindrops but sizable pieces of hail.

A few minutes ago my mom showed me a photo someone posted of the tornado about a mile from where we were at that moment.

[LordBaal]

Im really glad you posted here isnltlogical! Was a bit worried and for many reasons I havent been able to use discord in a couple of weeks.

[itisnotlogical]

forgive me if I say that but I did not expect to hear again from you itsnotlogical, and you know with those new bombshells it's hard to talk of relief. Happy to see you but also concerned and alarmed. As so often with you, I'm pretty much at a loss for words, and not for a lack of trying.

What your ex did was not okay, probably best to waste no thoughts on her motives either, but how enraging. What about the people that know you, but are fed this misinformation, and thusly don't try to reach out thereafter? How vile.

You really reminded me about 3-4 people that live a little further away, I promised to go see at some point these past years and still haven't, I'm such a... mmh 

The very best luck to you, we're here if you want to.

See, even this is weirding me out a bit (although I do very much appreciate any thoughts, prayers, well-wishes etc. you want to send my way.) Aside from one or two people who've reached out in PMs in the past, and of course my IRL friends and family I keep in touch with online, I felt a bit like the Internet in general was like... not shouting into a void, but maybe sharing your woes with a large group of strangers you might see again tomorrow, but also might not see again for the rest of your life. For example, I had no idea that you had been keeping up with my story so closely until now.

I'm pretty close with all the people that really matter in my life, so I'm not too concerned about misinformation. Related, and even more bizarre: at the same time she was texting my best friend in the whole world that I'd passed away, she was giving generic "he's doing okay" sort of answers to her aunt whenever she would ask about me, when I hadn't seen or talked to my ex or her aunt for months by that point. It was to the point that auntie was convinced I had moved out of town and was genuinely surprised when we rolled up to check on her (and correct the misinformation, once we found out about it.)

The only explanation I can come up with is that my ex is very, very seriously mentally ill, and I had the biggest, most opaque blinders in the world over my face. At the very least, she's a compulsive liar.

[Rolan7]

Seconding this!  Hops is a good person to talk to about such things.
I myself sometimes feel genderfluid rather than my natural state: nonbinary.
Gender:  A fine place to visit, not to stay.  (This is how *I* feel, not a recommendation.)

[methylatedspirit]

Not sure if you mean "fluid" by variable (...)

Yes.

Gender:  A fine place to visit, not to stay.  (This is how *I* feel, not a recommendation.)

I personally prefer calling gender "nonportable". Don't rely on it to behave the same way on every person, don't assume it even exists, and even if it does, nowhere in the spec does it say it won't return random and/or malformed data.