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[Rolan7]

Someone's car horn has been going off for 10 minutes straight.  Someone already went to the person's door but there was no response.  Their next door neighbor came out and there was a conversation with frustrated gestures.  It's almost 1AM.

It's not a car alarm, it's just a flat fricken tone.  I guess an alarm would be even more annoying.  Why would this even happen?  I'm just glad it only seems audible from my room, because my housemate has to get up *early*.

[Frumple]

Dunno what the exact cause is, but I've encountered it before. It's... some kind of malfunction, obviously enough, heh.

If there's a bright side, it's that if someone can't shut it up it'll give out eventually. After a point the horn or the power gives out

Though, not gon' lie, a dying car horn is a pretty damn odd sound, especially if it doesn't so much stop as just get much quieter and keep going.

[methylatedspirit]

I opened a bank account today (because disability benefits can only be paid to one specific bank, and I don't have an account with said bank), and my account addresses me as "Mr". Problems with being NB aside, it still feels weird as hell that I'm old enough to be called "Mr". I'm 18 now, yes, but that's the first time I've been addressed so formally. It's probably SOP for banks to do that with all adults, but still.


In more confusing news, a friend told me to suck his dick. It's literally the sentence "suck my dick". No context that would make it sound like an insult or epithet. I can't tell if he's fucking with me, but the tone made it sound like an earnest request to, well, suck his dick. First off, what the fuck? Second, I've never been sexually attracted towards penises. It's actually a slight repulsion (not towards the people with them, just the genitals themselves); I just don't particularly enjoy looking at people's dicks. Not that it matters much; my libido's at an all-time low. My interest wouldn't be that great, even if it was a girl asking me a similar thing.

And related: I lent my phone power adapter to another friend, and he told me "I love you" or something to that effect. Uh... that's just common decency. I don't even know-- I swear my friends are trying to fuck with me, just trying to tell me stuff like that to see my confused reaction. Maybe my face's entertaining to look at in that state, not that I can actually tell myself with higher precision than "Oh, my facial expression's changed".

[Eschar]

As far as I know, it's not uncommon for people familiar with someone to use "I love you" as an exaggerated/joking expression of thanks.

[methylatedspirit]

Yeah, but in the larger context of me apparently being the unaware protagonist of a harem manga, it's... interesting. I'm not saying it's evidence, but it's interesting in that light. I don't think it's completely innocent, let's put it that way.

[Rolan7]

"Suck my dick" can sometimes be nothing more than a crude but unmalicious scoff.  Like the shark meme that uses the phrase - the shark is dismissing you and the rest of the reality because, wow, it's a shark.  It doesn't hate us, it's too busy being an awesome shark.  I have no idea what your friend means by it though.  It's a bit, uh, crude and familiar.

"I love you" can be like "you're a life saver", an expression of thanks that emphasizes how special your help was.  Like if no one else could help them, or because they're relieved that you actually had the power adapter around so they exaggerate a bit.

Being called Mr/Mrs/Mx LastName is still a bit weird even into my early 30's.  Actually I feel like most important documents use my full name anyway, thankfully.  The classic joke for over-familiar men was to reply "Please call me FirstName, Mr LastName was my father".  Though in our case we could go "Mrs Lastname was my mother" instead, heh.  Just as true.  I guess a charitable version would be "Please call me Firstname". 

But yeah, bank employees and such are instructed to use "sir" and "m'am" and it sucks but it is what it is.  It helps me to recall that a lot of women choose to go by "sir", particularly in military roles, and that's completely valid.  "Man" was a gender neutral term, after all.  Until somewhere around 1000AD, English men were "wer" (like in werewolf), "man" just meant human.  Good times.  I'd love to de-emphasize gender in modern English language a lot.  The people who rage against singular "they" can, so to speak, suck my
[END OF LINE]

[methylatedspirit]

"Suck my dick" can sometimes be nothing more than a crude but unmalicious scoff.  Like the shark meme that uses the phrase - the shark is dismissing you and the rest of the reality because, wow, it's a shark.  It doesn't hate us, it's too busy being an awesome shark.  I have no idea what your friend means by it though.  It's a bit, uh, crude and familiar.

I suppose I can elaborate. Dude just calls my name, I look up from whatever I'm doing, then he literally just says "Suck my dick". My logs pretty much read:

Code: [Select]

[START OF CONVERSATION]

Friend: [My name]!
Me: Yes?
Friend: Suck my dick.
Me: (visible confusion)
[ERROR: Pipeline stall: please wait for the next 63 cycles to resume normal execution]
[ERROR: Pipeline stall: please wait for the next 63 cycles to resume normal execution]
(...)
[ERROR: Pipeline stall: please wait for the next 63 cycles to resume normal execution]
[ERROR: Recurring error: flushing working memory]

[END OF CONVERSATION: NO RESPONSE FROM SELF]
Basically like that. Brain stalls so hard, it just throws everything out the window to recover from the loop of bafflement. It's a common theme with these... advances.

[Ulfarr]

I believe the answer should be "I don't do pity fucks".


edit: Even with the extra info from the convo log we ( as outsiders) can't be sure of any underlying context stemming from your relationship with your friend. If said friend makes such jokes frequently and with no ill intent (aka blue humor) you should be able to one up them without any problems arising (basicaly you just make a joke back at them and everyone laughs). If however that wasn't realy a joke but it was meant to degrade you then you should be able to one up them as a mean to shut them up.

[scriver]

"Suck my dick" can sometimes be nothing more than a crude but unmalicious scoff.  Like the shark meme that uses the phrase - the shark is dismissing you and the rest of the reality because, wow, it's a shark.  It doesn't hate us, it's too busy being an awesome shark.  I have no idea what your friend means by it though.  It's a bit, uh, crude and familiar.

"I love you" can be like "you're a life saver", an expression of thanks that emphasizes how special your help was.  Like if no one else could help them, or because they're relieved that you actually had the power adapter around so they exaggerate a bit.

Being called Mr/Mrs/Mx LastName is still a bit weird even into my early 30's.  Actually I feel like most important documents use my full name anyway, thankfully.  The classic joke for over-familiar men was to reply "Please call me FirstName, Mr LastName was my father".  Though in our case we could go "Mrs Lastname was my mother" instead, heh.  Just as true.  I guess a charitable version would be "Please call me Firstname". 

But yeah, bank employees and such are instructed to use "sir" and "m'am" and it sucks but it is what it is.  It helps me to recall that a lot of women choose to go by "sir", particularly in military roles, and that's completely valid.  "Man" was a gender neutral term, after all.  Until somewhere around 1000AD, English men were "wer" (like in werewolf), "man" just meant human.  Good times.  I'd love to de-emphasize gender in modern English language a lot.  The people who rage against singular "they" can, so to speak, suck my
[END OF LINE]

Yeah baby, suck the end of my line

[King Zultan]

He could just be being a dick.

[methylatedspirit]

edit: Even with the extra info from the convo log we ( as outsiders) can't be sure of any underlying context stemming from your relationship with your friend. If said friend makes such jokes frequently and with no ill intent (aka blue humor) you should be able to one up them without any problems arising (basicaly you just make a joke back at them and everyone laughs). If however that wasn't realy a joke but it was meant to degrade you then you should be able to one up them as a mean to shut them up.

Now that I think of it, yeah, now, that's a joke. I think my friends know that hitting on me (or using phrases that sound like it) is a really good way to elicit complete and utter confusion out of me. I could see how that's funny.

Yeah baby, suck the end of my line

If you rephrase any request so that it starts with "Yeah baby" or "Oh baby", it suddenly becomes lewd. Extra points if you add "yeah" at the end. I could start right now: "Oh baby, rephrase those requests so they start with "Oh baby", yeah..."

[George_Chickens]

edit: Even with the extra info from the convo log we ( as outsiders) can't be sure of any underlying context stemming from your relationship with your friend. If said friend makes such jokes frequently and with no ill intent (aka blue humor) you should be able to one up them without any problems arising (basicaly you just make a joke back at them and everyone laughs). If however that wasn't realy a joke but it was meant to degrade you then you should be able to one up them as a mean to shut them up.

Now that I think of it, yeah, now, that's a joke. I think my friends know that hitting on me (or using phrases that sound like it) is a really good way to elicit complete and utter confusion out of me. I could see how that's funny.

Yeah baby, suck the end of my line

If you rephrase any request so that it starts with "Yeah baby" or "Oh baby", it suddenly becomes lewd. Extra points if you add "yeah" at the end. I could start right now: "Oh baby, rephrase those requests so they start with "Oh baby", yeah..."

Oh baby, we need to bulldoze these dead bodies into this ditch before the police come.

[MrRoboto75]

edit: Even with the extra info from the convo log we ( as outsiders) can't be sure of any underlying context stemming from your relationship with your friend. If said friend makes such jokes frequently and with no ill intent (aka blue humor) you should be able to one up them without any problems arising (basicaly you just make a joke back at them and everyone laughs). If however that wasn't realy a joke but it was meant to degrade you then you should be able to one up them as a mean to shut them up.

Now that I think of it, yeah, now, that's a joke. I think my friends know that hitting on me (or using phrases that sound like it) is a really good way to elicit complete and utter confusion out of me. I could see how that's funny.

Yeah baby, suck the end of my line

If you rephrase any request so that it starts with "Yeah baby" or "Oh baby", it suddenly becomes lewd. Extra points if you add "yeah" at the end. I could start right now: "Oh baby, rephrase those requests so they start with "Oh baby", yeah..."

Oh baby, we need to bulldoze these dead bodies into this ditch before the police come.

Yeah baby, I'll bulldoze your dead body anytime

[pisskop]

If Trump goes to jail, will he still have a secret service detail? 

[Lord Shonus]

I don't think the law allows the SS to be revoked for that, but it would be the easiest SS detail ever!