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[Yoink]

Let's just stress about nothing and everything at once until it hurts! Yay!

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[Imic]

I drink tea for the taste. I don’t know any other reason to do so, other than increased classyness, since if you just want the caffeine, you drink coffee.

[scriver]

Coffee is ten times as classy as tea

[Imic]

Coffee is ten times as classy as tea

[Visible confusion]
Yeah, no.

[Greiger]

Coffee tastes terrible though.  When someone calls it dirty bean water the description seems accurate.  That green tea didn't taste great, but it was drinkable.  Coffee tastes like brown mud dipped in grit.   

I'd rather drink tap water, and I'm not 100% certain the tap water around here is actually fit for human consumption by typical U.S. standards.

[ChairmanPoo]

You're drinking it wrong. If you go for Americcano of course it will taste of dirty water. Drinking Americcano and saying coffee tastes like dirty water is the equivalent of drinking English Breakfast Tea and complaining that it's shit only made drinkable by adding milk

If you truly like coffee you go for pure thick, black, coffee, no sugar. If possible a pure double espresso. In fact I find regular black coffee to be a poor substitute for a double espresso, but that's probably because most people who brew it brew it weak  (and as far as I'm concerned I've never bothered preparing anything other than espresso)


For that matter I think you're probably basing your opinion of green tea  on a cheap green tea. If you tried a better variety like one of the better senchas (I find Japanese green tea overall better, while I favor India for black tea -though I dont like black tea very much. China I prefer for pu erh and oolong but they have pretty good greens as well

[Reelya]

Good coffee is like liquid gold and makes tea taste like urine in comparison.

By "good" coffee, I specifically mean the stuff made in a full-sized Italian Espresso machine.

The "American" type coffee is crap. Nobody in Australia even sells that. Even the 7/11s and gas stations here only sell espresso-based coffee. The filter-style coffee that's all over America is below the minimum of what you can actually expect people to pay for, here.

American filter coffee is kinda like Taco Bell: only available in America, and a really poor imitation of the real thing.

[Kagus]

Clearly the only proper drink for a true red-blooded American is gunpowder tea.

[scriver]

Espresso is the opposite of classy, though. The only classy ways of drinking coffee is boiled or brewed, like a proper human, none of that snooty upper class nonsense.

Only exception is drinking it Turk style, on a platter, then you can also use espresso coffee. But if you drink espresso from a cup you're a classless fump.

[Trekkin]

I mean there’s the secret third option, applicable to both tea and coffee drinkers, but the idea that consumers of either actually enjoy them when they put either in their mouths is laughable, I say, if not farcical!

You'd think that'd be more common, but even reading this thread, you get the sense they enjoy insulting people who don't prepare their drink The Right Way^tm even more.

We have thus far avoided the usual testosterone-fueled contest of coffee preposterousness, but it's inevitable. Someone will claim they drink their coffee black, then someone says they drink theirs black and stupidly strong, and so on and so forth until people are claiming to shove whole coffee beans directly into their circulatory systems and grind them simply by flexing their assuredly ample muscles.

[Yoink]

Pretty much everyone but me drinks their tea and coffee wrong anyway, so if they aren't prepared by me both are shit and it's a moot point. *shrug*

...and so on and so forth until people are claiming to shove whole coffee beans directly into their circulatory systems and grind them simply by flexing their assuredly ample muscles.

M8, I shelve a whole bag of fair trade every morning.

[Kagus]

I've eaten instant coffee grounds before because I was bored. Such is life in the army.


Also, I happen to know a guy named Rightway. I don't particularly want to drink him.

[Hanslanda]

I mainline pure caffeine directly into my heart with a garden hose and a crumpled toilet holder roll.

I replace my cerebrospinal fluid with the pure essence of cocaine and methamphetamine every morning.

I chew nails and spit classy and artistically constructed facsimiles of famous sculptures perfectly scaled down to fit my mouth.

I once prepared and ingested a meal. This event is now known as the Permian Extinction.

[Trekkin]

I once prepared and ingested a meal. This event is now known as the Permian Extinction.

Ew, Hans eats bugs.

[Hanslanda]

I once prepared and ingested a meal. This event is now known as the Permian Extinction.

Ew, Hans eats bugs.

This made me giggle loud enough that I scared my dog.