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[scriver]

Are you sure you're awake now? Examine your butt in the mirror, just in case.

Not sure why doing that hadn't occurred to me earlier... Oh well.

Hindsight is 20/20.

Fukken beautiful mate 17/10 would make love to it if I could

[Il Palazzo]

I asked my local Gypsy crone what the ancient Egyptian dream dictionary has to say about it:

Well, I had one of those, except I was dreaming that I had that sort of dream {1} And when I "woke up" from that dream into the dream above it {2}, man, my dream-self was fucked.{3} I looked in a mirror and the entire side of my face was concave and this blotchy crimson color {4}thanks to how hard I was apparently mushing my face into the... I think I'd been sleeping on a footstool or something.{5}

While waiting for that to clear up, I tried moving around the house only to discover that 1) I had lost nearly all my balance and motor control thanks to my body still being mostly asleep {6}, and 2) The house was a broken-down mess {7}, with effectively open-air plumbing and corridors too small to fit through.{8}

I then discovered that one of my eyes had transplanted itself onto my buttcheek{9}, and eventually stumbled out the door only for the butt-eye to inflate massively and drag me up into the air as onlookers pointed and gasped at the sight{10}. Also I started glowing for some reason.{11}

The dreams you were told to be your own are an illusion{1}. You're looking to escape your current life to find your true self {2}, because what you're seeing now is monstrous {3}. Stop lashing out and instead learn to turn the other cheek {4}, because the pain you feel is self-inflicted {5}. You're feeling not in control of your life {6}, that what you've built for yourself is a broken mess {7} suffocating and restricting you {8}.
You must take a long hard look at your past from a more down-to-earth perspective{9}, and not be afraid to be judged by others {10}. Only then will you finally shine {11}.

There you go sirrah. That'll be 20 euro, thank you very much.

[scriver]

Did you see the pun though best pun of 2018 game if the year award

[Il Palazzo]

Pun acknowledged.

[Tack]

I am now in effective war with every Indian lady in my workplace about the effective difficulty of European vs Indian cooking.
I somehow need to come up with a very western dish which takes more skill and timing than the average butter chicken.

So... fuck.

I asked my local Gypsy crone what the ancient Egyptian dream dictionary has to say about it:

Most importantly did you pay the lady?

[IcyTea31]

Yeah, always pay the fortune teller. Curses are a real bother to deal with.

Edit: also, a difficult-to-cook Western dish: crêpes suzette.

[Trekkin]

I somehow need to come up with a very western dish which takes more skill and timing than the average butter chicken.

How about croquembouche? Choux pastry, creme patissiere and caramel all require skill and timing, as does the assembly process. Gateau St. Honore uses a lot of the same elements in a smaller package, if you intend to actually bring it in to your work. If you want something smaller still, baked Alaska is all about timing.

On the savory side, one could point to galantine or vegetable chartreuse, or any kind of steam-risen egg dish (cheese souffle, for example). For some reason beef Wellington is also sometimes regarded as technically difficult, although I'd argue refrigerators give us way more leeway now than once we had.

[Kagus]

Uhh... Chiles en Nogada? Don't know if you're allowed to include central/south America in the "Western" category, or if it's specifically supposed to mean "white people food".

Also, you realize you picked a fight with a food culture based on generations of multiple women sitting at home and cooking for 8 hours a day? Seriously, there's an Indian/Pakistani dish that requires upwards of 4 hours of constant stirring.


There's also Consommé, which is a more advanced western dish but... Doesn't really have a whole heck of a lot to show for it.

[Tack]

I mean wood-fired stoves used to mean that a roast needed constant care and attention in order to not waver in the exact application of heat.

But yeah, definitely punching above my weight. Certainly not sad about all of the challenging new recipes i’m having thrown at me though, thanks to you three.

[IcyTea31]

A note: more than half the suggested dishes were French. I guess it makes sense that that would be the food culture to challenge India.

[Dunamisdeos]

I'm from America so I'll just be over here spending 3 hours slowly cooking this deep-fried hot dog here and pretending it's art.

[Cathar]

Let's be real tho we don't cook baker-grade pastries at home, we buy them like everyone else, except when we do we feel proud of ourselves.

Also if any frenchman tells you about a pastry called a "chocolatine", pretends you havn't heard and switch topic, it is a matter of life and death. It doesn't exist, it is a lie that cost too many lives already

[heydude6]

May I suggest eggs Benedict? Double boiling the holandaise sauce is always a pain in my experience.

EDIT: I have less experience with this one, but try making a lasagna... from scratch. People take for granted how much easier store bought pasta makes things. You need a dedicated pasta machine to make it and you have to handle it gently since the dough is so small and fragile. Combine that with the difficulties that come with layering lasagna properly and I think you have a suitable challenge.

To really show it to them, try making it gluten and lactose free.

[Trekkin]

Also if any frenchman tells you about a pastry called a "chocolatine", pretends you havn't heard and switch topic, it is a matter of life and death. It doesn't exist, it is a lie that cost too many lives already

Well, yeah, everyone knows it's just a Gascon term for couque au chocolat, more properly called a chocolate croissant.

Incidentally, regarding French cuisine being over-represented in the above list, that was intentional on my part. It's not really harder to get right than any other cuisine; you can adjust your expectations arbitrarily high until making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is hard to do "right", and conversely even the most amateurish efforts at fancy patisserie are, barring uncooked meat and so forth, technically edible. French cuisine just relies on ingredients largely available in American supermarkets while also generally having a detailed canonical presentation, so if you want to make something fancy and difficult, it's straightforward to try to hit a high standard. (I was assuming Tack wanted to actually try making something by way of demonstration.)

[Rose]

Uhh... Chiles en Nogada? Don't know if you're allowed to include central/south America in the "Western" category, or if it's specifically supposed to mean "white people food".

Also, you realize you picked a fight with a food culture based on generations of multiple women sitting at home and cooking for 8 hours a day? Seriously, there's an Indian/Pakistani dish that requires upwards of 4 hours of constant stirring.


There's also Consommé, which is a more advanced western dish but... Doesn't really have a whole heck of a lot to show for it.

I want to know that 3 hour dish.