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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14562864 times)

TamerVirus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137370 on: August 30, 2018, 08:05:56 am »

Don't kinkshame, dude.
Bumber really likes bikes
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George_Chickens

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137371 on: August 30, 2018, 08:08:48 am »

I bet he rode the town bike all day long until he couldn't sit down anymore.
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Ghosts are stored in the balls?[/quote]
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Draignean

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137372 on: August 30, 2018, 08:44:06 am »

The people that hang out on youtube stream chatrooms are 100% bots. I refuse to believe otherwise. They legit communicate as if they are moderately complex rpg NPC characters.

Nasty people. I avoid them whenever I can.

Talk to us instead. Visit my site at www.supergreatadditivebicyclekitchenware4free.com
This link took me to a Time Warner Cable search where the first result was "Bike porn" on Pornhub. It disappeared from the results the next time I tried it.
H-how would that work?

The supple polymer flexed under his rough hands as he kneaded the delicate surface of the bike's handlegrips, each motion eliciting the barely perceptible cry of skin sliding against the cool, hard rubber. Slowly, gently, he mounted the bike- positioning his body over the elegant frame and lowering himself to take best advantage of all that it had to offer. The soft leather of the seat cupped towards him as he positioned his body; inviting him, beckoning him, calling him to action. Calling him to ride.

Anticipation flaring within him, breath already quickened by a yearning for deeper motion. He shifted back, settling himself to the pedals, enjoying the enticing half-resistance they offered when at rest, then pushed forward in smooth action. The world spun into motion. Soft and silken sounds were constant as the bike's well lubricated chain was repeatedly and fully penetrated by the steely spokes of the sprocket, harsher and more longing sounds intermittent as the man's breath rose to match his exertions and gave power to his ever increasing speed. The moaning rising up from the whirling sprocket reached its peak, the shear speed of the lubricated penetrations giving voice to ardent cry- and yet the speed continued to rise, driven by the ceaseless pumping of the man's legs against the bike's cupped pedals.

Time lost its meaning as the bike's husky moan continued, accompanied by the man's paced breathing and tireless rhythm. Sweat slicked his brow, dripping down onto the bike's lithe frame as they moved together, marking them both with the same fluids. The purity of the moment, the blaze of motion, the brightness of his salt on bike's chrome, all drove the man as he climbed the final hill- maintaining speed before plunging down into a rush that they both knew meant the end. Wind rose as a roar as he finished peddling, letting the momentum of the moment and the grade of the hill carry the bike into furious climax that only slowed as the hill abated and the two came to rest together.

Even in stillness, the man stayed locked with the bike, his breath fogging the chrome as he collected himself with head bent between the luscious curves between the bike's handlebars. A few errant drops of sweat mixed between them, a reminder of what they'd done together. After an eternity in the afterglow, the man rose from the bike and gave the pleasurable leather of the bike's seat a final playful squeeze. He had work, but he'd be back in a few hours- and then it would be time to do it all again.

Always remember to use GreenTree urban rental bikes for your travel needs, it's just 50 cents for a ride you won't forget.


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Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137373 on: August 30, 2018, 09:01:12 am »

More impressed than aroused. That’s some grade A smut right there.
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Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Yoink

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137374 on: August 30, 2018, 09:02:08 am »

...

.....Christ on a bike.
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George_Chickens

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137375 on: August 30, 2018, 09:03:31 am »

...

.....Christ on a bike.
In preparation for the second coming, remember to bring some tissues and a towel.
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Frumple

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137376 on: August 30, 2018, 09:12:57 am »

... any case, it's mostly attachments or the occasional double-seater or whatev', last I noticed. Not really that complicated.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137377 on: August 30, 2018, 09:18:47 am »

“Tingled in the Chuck by a Double-Seater.”
Coming soon.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

George_Chickens

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137378 on: August 30, 2018, 09:22:18 am »

"Tingled in the Chuck by My Book 'Tingled in the Chuck by a Double-Seater' with a Double-Seater"
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Hanslanda

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137379 on: August 30, 2018, 09:27:22 am »

"And then my internet friends shared some bike porn and made Chuck Tingle anal jokes."

-the reason my wife just gave me a weird fuckin look
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JoshuaFH

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137380 on: August 30, 2018, 10:05:19 am »

I feel we need a dramatic reading posted to youtube or something.
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Tack

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137381 on: August 30, 2018, 10:14:01 am »

Everyone knows an audiobook is best narrated by the author.
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Parsely

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137382 on: August 30, 2018, 10:15:09 am »

-snip-
« Last Edit: August 30, 2018, 01:38:29 pm by Parsely »
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Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137383 on: August 30, 2018, 11:09:43 am »

Heh, I actually got involved with a blind gaming group back when HellMOO was still a thing around here. Man, there was so much disability-related drama going on in that game, it was glorious... Full-scale crusades called against "the blinds" because as it turns out, goons don't really like their superiority challenged by having some blind dude who is catastrophically high manage to gank a few of them.

Also got to learn about some zombie game where you mainly navigate and locate things by sound, although I never got around to trying it out myself.

But yeah, plenty of blind gamers out there. Even just within the scope of MOOs/MUDs there are a lot of options, and at least in my limited experience the dudes I was rolling with were very keen on helping out new gamers learn the ropes and get started. The more the murderermerrier, as they say!


That's how I ended up getting my status as an honorary blind person, actually. I'm quite proud of it.

Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #137384 on: August 30, 2018, 11:12:36 am »

I feel we need a dramatic reading posted to youtube or something.
Please, Draig. Do it. And make a sequel.
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