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[Reelya]

Even in the event that was true, why would it matter?

To a certain brand of religious crazy anything from other religions or in any way involving supernatural themes is evil magic being used to corrupt children into demon worshippers.

Remember the D&D satanic panic?

... which is sadly not a parody but an actual artifact of the panic.

[Akura]

Shitty day. First, lost the stylus for my 3DS. Somehow fell out despite the fact I was holding it stylus-hole-side up. No idea where it landed in my mom's jeep. Second, and probably a whole lot more important, I threatened my boss with legal action if he didn't fire an employee who thought it was funny to barricade me into a corner with several clothing racks at the end of the day. I didn't see him on the way out, so I told one of the other managers - said manager is also my sister, so I know she'll relay the message.

[Hanslanda]

"Goddamn kids these days with their premarital sex orgies, cocaine marijuanas, and Super Marios."

All of this sounds wonderful.

[ChairmanPoo]

Even in the event that was true, why would it matter?

To a certain brand of religious crazy anything from other religions or in any way involving supernatural themes is evil magic being used to corrupt children into demon worshippers.

Remember the D&D satanic panic?

... which is sadly not a parody but an actual artifact of the panic.

The movie was better
https://youtu.be/LADLv1803Vw

[Reelya]

Even in the event that was true, why would it matter?

To a certain brand of religious crazy anything from other religions or in any way involving supernatural themes is evil magic being used to corrupt children into demon worshippers.

Remember the D&D satanic panic?

... which is sadly not a parody but an actual artifact of the panic.

The movie was better
https://youtu.be/LADLv1803Vw

Nah, people in the 1980s were losing their minds over this shit. It would all be funny, but there are actually still people in prison because of the mass satanic hysteria, of which the Chick comics were a palatable product.

You can't "update" Dark Dungeons in the same way that you can't update "Duck and Cover". Both only make sense within the cultural milieu that created them, and they are darkly humorous only because of that. Duck and Cover is the friendly face of imminent nuclear annihilation and Dark Dungeons is the friendly face of the massive literal witch hunts that were going on in the 1980s.

You could make a better "Duck and Cover" movie, however it loses the "holy shit they really believed this crap" element, and the amount that it fails is actually an important part of the charm: The charm of the Chick comics is the same: the fact that the main character can't go visit her friend because she's "fighting the zombie" while playing D&D, completely by herself, adds to the charm, and the movie loses that.

Dark Dungeons the comic has pop-culture historical significance, the movie is just a pointless bad movie, and is only meaningful if you read the comic.

[TamerVirus]

Chick tracts can be pretty funny

[Descan]

Ah, Jack Chick. Where in the same panel you can have the hiii-larious pop cultural reference of Professor McGonagall as a witch at a coven, at the same time as you have one of the evil leaders being a caricature of a stereotypical 'Jew.'

The shadows even make it look like he's wearing a yarmulke in a previous panel.

[Dunamisdeos]

We could spend the rest of the month WTF'ing over Jack Chick and his incredibly bold outright chicanery.

I'd be fine with this. Behold, the part of Christianity where we fight vampires. Bet you didn't know we did that on Thursdays.

[scourge728]

I mean to be fair, Satan's job description DOES include lying, that's kinda something he's known for

[Hanslanda]

I mean to be fair, Satan's job description DOES include lying, that's kinda something he's known for

... Are you sure? I seem to recall Satan giving humans knowledge of right and wrong, a little minor thing God denied us, then punished us for acquiring. Almost like it would allow us to realize how unrepentantly evil God was and Satan was doing us a solid that was subsequently spun into some hideously evil act by the dictator in charge.

[hector13]

Wasn’t Satan a creation of God, too? ‘cause that seems like a big deal.

[Dunamisdeos]

Didn't God put them in a place where there was literally no hardship?

What an asshole.

Also, it's bad idea to bring the religion thread into the WTF thread.

[Eric Blank]

Its fucking 105°f outside. This is 48° north at 2500ft elevation not fucking coastal equatorial africa go the fuck home nature

[Teneb]

I mean to be fair, Satan's job description DOES include lying, that's kinda something he's known for

... Are you sure? I seem to recall Satan giving humans knowledge of right and wrong, a little minor thing God denied us, then punished us for acquiring. Almost like it would allow us to realize how unrepentantly evil God was and Satan was doing us a solid that was subsequently spun into some hideously evil act by the dictator in charge.

T'wasn't Satan. It was just a snake. It got equalled to old scratch later down the line.

[Reelya]

Didn't God put them in a place where there was literally no hardship?

What an asshole.

God was a passive aggressive asshole. Deliberately puts them in a perfect place, but puts this huge tree covered in the best fruit ever right in the middle of the place and says not to touch the fruit, while the snake he created is telling them something else. Then God acts all surprised at the outcome, which he clearly knew would happen before he even started. God was the creator, if man was flawed and therefore was destined to eat the fruit, then that's God's fault since he's the all-powerful and all-knowing creator. Only a poor workman blames his tools.

God then proceeds to rub it in our faces, for eternity. Showing someone perfection then snatching it away so you can never be satisfied with anything else is being an asshole.

If God was human, he'd be passive aggressive, an emotional manipulator and a narcissist. "Oh no you ate the fruit, you've betrayed me (all according to plan heheheh). Now suffer for eternity, and it's all your fault, not mine". Considering that this guy concocted the whole scenario and knew beforehand what was going to happen, he's a true "class act".

With the way he's shown to carry on in the Bible, he's also a schizophrenic, sociopathic psychopath considering some of the random shit he pulls later.