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Author Topic: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O  (Read 14903381 times)

Egan_BW

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135375 on: July 09, 2018, 04:52:34 pm »

I'm unsure as to my blood type, but the stuff is hyper-coagulated so I probably won't be losing much of it anyways. :V
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

Kagus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135376 on: July 09, 2018, 04:55:14 pm »

Just use an IV of young coconut juice.

Perfectly safe. 101% vegan.

Egan_BW

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135377 on: July 09, 2018, 04:56:33 pm »

Sever part containing insufficient blood. Find healthy human. Cannibalize for parts.
Blood shortage solved, no need for transfusion.

Side effects of this strategy include being unable to date pisskop
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I would starve tomorrow if I could eat the world today.

scriver

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135378 on: July 09, 2018, 04:58:55 pm »

It wont save jack because in most situations you're not going to be transfused without at the very least a basic assay being performed,

Even in the far apocalyptic future they bothered to check Mad Max before stringing him up for bloodletting
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Love, scriver~

Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135379 on: July 09, 2018, 05:11:45 pm »

I'm a Christian so my blood is made up of 100% aged wine.

I can change the fruit base at will, fite me.
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FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Eric Blank

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135380 on: July 09, 2018, 05:13:43 pm »

Holy fuck i wish i could get away with telling customers to leave when they smell like a rotting sewage soaked corpse on an ashtray and leave a nasty ass mess in the restroom.

Today started off with a wonderful lady who smelled like a nice fruity perfume. Everyone else uses their ash tray as deodorant. The sewage flavored hobo has used our bathroom, twice. Im not cleaning it again until we get more cleaning supplies, and reinforcements. Its officially out of order.

This hawaiian breeze air freshener smells nice, though.
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redwallzyl

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135381 on: July 09, 2018, 05:25:14 pm »

Holy fuck i wish i could get away with telling customers to leave when they smell like a rotting sewage soaked corpse on an ashtray and leave a nasty ass mess in the restroom.

Today started off with a wonderful lady who smelled like a nice fruity perfume. Everyone else uses their ash tray as deodorant. The sewage flavored hobo has used our bathroom, twice. Im not cleaning it again until we get more cleaning supplies, and reinforcements. Its officially out of order.

This hawaiian breeze air freshener smells nice, though.
Reminds me of a story I once heard. Some overweight guy entered a bathroom and came out much later. When they checked the bathroom there was a pile of shit so big it poked out of the toilet bowl. Public toilet related stories seem to have a unique horror to them.
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Lord Shonus

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135382 on: July 09, 2018, 05:28:47 pm »

Any story where the shit winds up in the toilet is pretty damn tame.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135383 on: July 09, 2018, 05:30:49 pm »

We hid a photo-realistic snake in our restaurant toilet and arranged it so it would spring out just a little bit when the seat opened.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135384 on: July 09, 2018, 05:31:30 pm »

We hid a photo-realistic snake in our restaurant toilet and arranged it so it would spring out just a little bit when the seat opened.
This is beautiful.
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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

Rolan7

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135385 on: July 09, 2018, 05:34:38 pm »

Which distracted everyone from the saran wrap?
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Doomblade187

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135386 on: July 09, 2018, 05:55:16 pm »

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In any case it would be a battle of critical thinking and I refuse to fight an unarmed individual.
One mustn't stare into the pathos, lest one become Pathos.

pisskop

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135387 on: July 09, 2018, 06:03:28 pm »

buy your stock in emergency relief rations and radiation testing gear now
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KittyTac

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135388 on: July 09, 2018, 11:21:17 pm »

Okay, so about that prank program. I couldn't get it finished in time, so I used a program picked from the web, and renamed it "Roblox". I was eating a sandwich when I heard a loud scream. My punishment went right. When my friend told me what happened, I said: "Maybe you have been hacked." In a way, he was hacked. By me.
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EnigmaticHat

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Re: Things that made you go "WTF?" today o_O
« Reply #135389 on: July 10, 2018, 12:39:53 am »

What... what did you friend do?
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