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[Putnam]

https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2018/04/15/602643461/prominent-gay-rights-lawyer-dies-after-setting-himself-on-fire-in-new-york-park

Goodness, that's a bit extreme.

The fuck is with the title? While he was certainly a gay rights dude, his self-immolation was over environmental issues:

Pollution ravages our planet, oozing inhabitability via air, soil, water and weather. Most humans on the planet now breathe air made unhealthy by fossil fuels, and many die early deaths as a result — my early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves.

[IcyTea31]

Could have been a limericker

There once was a dwarf who couldn't but lie
One day she came and took a slice of pie
"Who ate it, my love?"
Asked the nobles above
"'Twas the elves, milord" she'd smile and reply

[Tack]

That’s got a few.. extra beats.

[IcyTea31]

Yeah, I have no idea what the proper metre for a limerick is. Every time I've looked into it, several sources have disagreed on it. I just wrote something that sounded good to me and got anywhere close to scanning when I read it.

[SOLDIER First]

Long sentence
Long sentence
Short sentence
Short sentence
Long sentence

[martinuzz]

Could be worse, could have been an elf lye maker.

I see nothing wrong with making lye from the charred husks of elves.

^^
the correct answer, 10 pointies

[wierd]

8
8
6
6
8

EG--

There was a young lady from Lunes ( 8 )
Who's boosoms popped up like baloons ( 8 )
But her butler stood by ( 6 )
With hauteur in his eye ( 6 )
To hoist them back in with warmed spoons ( 8 )

Or,

An incident most uncanny ( 8 )
Struck my poor elderly granny ( 8 )
As she sat in her chair ( 6 )
While her false teeth were there ( 6 )
And bit herself on her fanny ( 8 )

[Kagus]

The fuck is with the title? While he was certainly a gay rights dude, his self-immolation was over environmental issues:

Pollution ravages our planet, oozing inhabitability via air, soil, water and weather. Most humans on the planet now breathe air made unhealthy by fossil fuels, and many die early deaths as a result — my early death by fossil fuel reflects what we are doing to ourselves.

Sensationalism. In short; clickbait. Read an article yesterday titled "Russia threatens 'severe retaliation' as WW3 fears grow". Actually reading the article revealed that it meant economic retaliation for recent trade sanctions, and was threatening stuff like dropping tobacco imports. So, basically, willfully misleading and fearmongering.

...of course, Russia has also warned of military retaliation for the missile strikes, but that was a different article.

[IcyTea31]

But what about these? These are all from Wikipedia, showing how even it can't make its mind up.

There was a young rustic named Mallory, (10)
who drew but a very small salary. (10)
When he went to the show, (6)
his purse made him go (5)
to a seat in the uppermost gallery. (11)

A dozen, a gross, and a score (8 )
Plus three times the square root of four (8 )
Divided by seven (6)
Plus five times eleven (6)
Is nine squared and not a bit more. (8 )

There was a young man from Japan (8 )
Whose limericks never would scan. (7 or 8, depending on how you pronounce 'limericks')
And when they asked why, (5)
He said "I do try! (5)
But when I get to the last line I try to fit in as many words as I can." (19)

There was a young man from Nantucket (9)
Whose dick was so long he could suck it. (9)
He said with a grin (5)
As he wiped off his chin, (6)
"If my ear was a cunt I would fuck it." (10)

[martinuzz]

Dang, I guess my sig's limerick isn't a real limerick then.

[scriver]

8/8/6/6/8 and 9/9/5/6/10 are the only ones who follow the patterns I have in my head. They also sound the most like the speak-song of the Irish tongue to me so they have to be the real ones.

There was a young man from Japan (8 )
Whose limericks never would scan. (7 or 8, depending on how you pronounce 'limericks')
And when they asked why, (5)
He said "I do try! (5)
But when I get to the last line I try to fit in as many words as I can." (19)

This was the funniest one though. It honestly made me laugh out loud.

[Akura]

Stepdad was talking about putting one of the dogs down, due to a medical issue that he doesn't want to pay to treat(note: the dogs are over a decade old). But he also plans to buy a new truck afterwards to "celebrate"(probably not the intended word, but that's what he said), possibly buying before so that he can take the dog for a ride before putting him down.

[Tack]

Also enjoyed that one.
Much like the common:
“Haikus are fun
But sometimes I can’t find words
Refrigerator”

But yeah, Limericks have always had a very rigid “ba bapa ba bapa ba ba” rhythm to them. Can’t figure out how to say a [10]er, I just end up tripping.


Edit: Sad Ninja- that sucks. Euthanasia of the old and cancer-ridden I can understand. “Celebrating” the saved money, that’s past ruthless and straight to inconsiderate.

[ChairmanPoo]

So I was watching Thor Ragnarok and... it´s kind of lame? :/

[Loud Whispers]

What do you expect from capeshit? You don't pick the most repetitive mass appeal to be surprised with good quality, you go there to die inside and go watch blade of the immortal instead