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[martinuzz]

My previous neighbors have left a moped in front of the house, blocking the pedestrian path.
Today police rings at my door. Apparently a couple of neighbors down the street have reported the moped, and told the police it's mine.

So I tell the police it's not mine, but the previous tenants nextdoor left it behind. Police officer says that he doesn't believe that, because more than one neighbor said it was mine, and ordered me to have it removed.

I told him again that it wasn't mine, and that if I removed it, I would be guilty of theft.
Still, no cigar. Officer told me to remove it, or I'd get fined.

So I decided to no longer waste time with this dumb officer, and went to the police station, and reported the officer for using coercion to get me to commit a crime.
That's a crime punishable with 3-4 years prison.
Now I'll just wait.
Not gonna touch that moped, it ain't mine and it ain't my problem.  Next to that, I can't get it loaded on the back of my bicycle.

Retarded neighborhood. I live in a 'social problems' neighborhood. Sadly most of my neighbors have less IQ than a Captain Iglo fish-stick, and when there's something like a moped blocking the footpath, they immediatly convince themselves that they guy with the long hairs and beard (me) must be responsible.
That, plus underfunded police. Apparently they do not have the manpower required to do a simple check of a moped's frame number, or they would have known it was never mine.

[Gentlefish]

I'm now invested in this story. I hope you follow up after they get back with you, I'm curious to see how this goes.

[hector13]

It's the Netherlands man, everything'll get done sensibly and they'll dance around windmills while performing ritual sacrifices so the sea levels don't rise.

[Dunamisdeos]

It's the Netherlands man, everything'll get done sensibly and they'll dance around windmills while performing ritual sacrifices so the sea levels don't rise.

We do this at the Jersey Shore, but we dance around fresh cannoli instead.

[Frumple]

Naturally, the abandoned moped will be the primary sacrifice of that ritual. It's not to prevent sea level rise this time, though. Presumably the vehicle's destruction will strengthen the seawalls by way of material resonance.

[Dunamisdeos]

We tried to sacrifice discarded DVD's of Jersey Shore but Father Broseidon responded with Hurricane Sandy.

[Teneb]

'round here we appease Sol Invictus by ritually burning public transportation, so summer is just a little more tolerable.

[Eric Blank]

I dont know any of the native rituals here are, but i tend to drive down the road chanting "oh dear oh dear deer" to prevent the deer running out in front of me. So far only a couple closeish calls

[hector13]

I had a deer merrily jump along next to my car for about 25 feet while I was white knuckling the steering wheel hoping it didn't suddenly decide to become one with my vehicle.

[Dunamisdeos]

I hit a deer in the butt with my car once, he ran away though.

[Frumple]

I had a deer merrily jump along next to my car for about 25 feet while I was white knuckling the steering wheel hoping it didn't suddenly decide to become one with my vehicle.

... huh. How fast were you going? Quick check suggests if you were going 55 mph that would have been less than a third of a second.

[scourge728]

And then there's just moose, who win collisions with cars with no damage sometimes

[Dunamisdeos]

I had a deer merrily jump along next to my car for about 25 feet while I was white knuckling the steering wheel hoping it didn't suddenly decide to become one with my vehicle.

... huh. How fast were you going? Quick check suggests if you were going 55 mph that would have been less than a third of a second.

Deer only run at 30mph, OBVIOUSLY, frumple.

*slides google quietly back into it's drawer*

For reals tho I'd wig out if any animal whatsoever was pacing my car. That's some Jurassic Park crap.

[smjjames]

I had a deer merrily jump along next to my car for about 25 feet while I was white knuckling the steering wheel hoping it didn't suddenly decide to become one with my vehicle.

... huh. How fast were you going? Quick check suggests if you were going 55 mph that would have been less than a third of a second.

Deer only run at 30mph, OBVIOUSLY, frumple.

*slides google quietly back into it's drawer*

lol....

For reals tho I'd wig out if any animal whatsoever was pacing my car. That's some Jurassic Park crap.

If you're talking highway speeds, a cheetah could, briefly. Oceangoing and flying critters are another matter though.

[TD1]

I see your lol and raise you a rofl.