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[Frumple]

Silly simpsons critter, the cow would just stomp you to death. It's the pigs and chickens that would eat you and everything you love.

[wierd]

1) Animals are friends, not food (and associated "all meat is cruelty" and other hyperbole)

https://io9.gizmodo.com/cows-are-deadlier-than-you-ever-knew-1690950434
(about halfway down in the article...

Warning: They've Got a Taste For Blood

It's possible that all the trouble we have with cows goes back to one spectacularly ill-advised news story. In 1931 Time magazine published an article about the positive effects of feeding a cow meat. The article starts off by saying, "Dairymen on the Didsbury Jersey farms at Didsbury, Alberta, last week argued that it was a meat diet which caused one of their cows, Waikiki Xenia's Fanny, to produce almost pure cream." Who could resist the potential for profit? Perhaps farmers tried it, and turned their cows into blood thirsty killers.

Or perhaps it was something that was always natural to them. A cow in India made headlines a few years ago for eating about fifty chicks, one of them on camera. In an article about meat-eating deer, one io9 reader with nerves of steel, reported to us that cows occasionally also eat barn kittens.

See also:

http://www.lrgaf.org/deadly_equines.htm
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2015/04/22/oregon-farmer-convicted/26168073/

So, yeah. 

[scourge728]

Whatever happened to grisha5?

[wierd]

Unlike the heavens gate cult, his cult was actually correct, and he ascended to heaven on a UFO, but nobody else noticed? /total bullshit

[milo christiansen]

<stuff about meat eating bovines>

I have never heard about that, but pigs are the worst for that kind of thing. AFAIK there has not been a single confirmed case of the old "farmer dies of heart attack and his pigs eat him" urban legend, but it sticks around because it is so very plausible.

When I was young, my father owned a drain cleaning business, and one of his machines was a great big monster that shoved out a half-inch rotating cable with a cutter on the end. It was the biggest machine of its kind, and it came with the relatively rare power cable-feed option. after destroying several cables he finally bought a 4 inch water turbine cutter and the most powerful pressure washer he could get (together with 400 feet of hose). That sucker had big ol' blades on it and it literally screamed when it ran. You could only run it in certain kinds of pipes lest it eat holes in the pipe wall, and starting it when it was outside of a pipe was very ill-advised.

What defeated the cable machine and required the services of the water cutter? Pig hides. You see, if a pig dies in a pig barn and the farmer doesn't notice quickly enough, the other pigs eat it. If this happens there is a good chance the hide and bones will fall or be pushed through the floor slats and into the pit under the barn. When this pit is drained into the main containment, sometimes a hide will clog the main (6-8 inch) drain pipe. Luckily this is a fairly rare occurrence (in a large farm with several barns it only happens once a year or so), to be honest it would happen even less in a farm where the farmer is more diligent about walking through the barns...

Anyway, if it isn't moving, pigs will eat it. I still thing pork tastes good though...

[scourge728]

I've heard pigs are perfectly willing to eat a child alive if it were to fall in

[Teneb]

There have been more than a few cases around here of murderers using pigs to destroy the body(ies) of their victim(s). So it totally does happen.

Chickens, meanwhile, are just evil. Deliciously evil. Good thing they are tiny.

[LordBaal]

Cows can be very aggressive indeed. An uncle almost got gored to death by one many years ago. Then another one intervened and got in the between them. So it goes to both ways I guess.

[Eric Blank]

Anyway, if it isn't moving, pigs will eat it.

Even being motionless and dead isnt entirely a requirement to eat something; my father owned a boar which left its grain untouched, apparently asleep next to it, until one of their chickens tried to eat the grain. At which point the boar would grab and eat the chicken. The boar was soon butchered himself, once my father figured out what was happening. This was all before I was born, as well.

So pigs are clever, will eat anything they damn well please if given the chance, can be real assholes sometimes and will totally fight you, and are also delicious.


The sow we have right now is a total sweetheart most of the time though. She just wants food and scritches.

[TD1]

Cows are gits. Stubborn gits. Bulls are super stubborn gits.

My aunt got kicked in the head by a cow. My grandfather (in a rather amusing story) was chased by a herd of them into an oak tree.

They're usually too apprehensive of you to do anything, though. Unless they have calves.

[Dunamisdeos]

I knew a person who punched a grown male pig unconscious once.

[TD1]

Did it insult his mother?

[Dunamisdeos]

It figured out that the other pigs never come back from the truck that went to the slaughterhouse and wigged the fu** out. So he punched it. Said pig was presumably delicious.

[TD1]

Awwwwh, well there's a new ending to Charlotte's Web for you.

Wilbur, it seems, was delicious.

[MrRoboto75]

Wilbur, it seems, was delicious.

Terrific