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[Eric Blank]

Russians always aiming for the nethers. Always a low blow.

[Reelya]

I was trying to think of a food combo disgusting enough to eat that Americans don't have it for sale and thought of "pizzanaise", which is pizza-flavored mayonaise. Sure enough, it exists and it's American. What a surprise.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[scriver]

It doesn't say pizzaneise, though, and the portmanteau is 99% of what makes baconneise sound disgusting (otherwise it's just unremarkable old "bacon flavoured mayonnaise"). It also looks like it's just mayo in its consistency and the taste of pizza is like just oregano and tomato.

_{also mayo pizza is fucking delish}

[bloop_bleep]

Do they have bacon-flavored Skittles?

I would buy that.

[Reelya]

The concept exists but it's not a real product. You can get bacon jellybeans however:

https://www.amazon.com/Accoutrements-Bacon-Flavored-Jelly-Beans/dp/B001DDA3VE

[martinuzz]

Over here in the Netherlands, our air raid sirens are tested every first monday of the month, at 12:00.
Ofcourse, since that's been a thing for at least 39 years (all my life), every nation in the world knows that if you want to bomb the Netherlands, to do that on the first monday of the month, at noon. No one will believe the air raid siren is for real.

Ofcourse, even if people were to believe the siren is for real, it would still be useless, since we don't have any bomb shelters.

...why is that system still being maintained?  Like, when was the last time it was actually needed?

Politics have actually decided a few years ago that it will be scrapped in 2019 (or 2020, forgot).

[Reelya]

I hear they're going to replace it with warning text messages. So the first monday of every month at 12pm they'll SMS everyone in the Netherlands with a test message.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/news-life/oxford-university-stabber-avoids-jail-because-of-her-extraordinary-potential/news-story/f7c520ff25ab1f4d6d9786e445290290

AN Oxford University student dubbed “too clever to go to prison” has walked free for stabbing her ex-boyfriend in a drug-fuelled frenzy — but moaned she can’t go clubbing without being recognised.

Duh, well sucks to be you coz you can't go out drinking after getting off scott-free for stabbing your partner in a drug-fueled rage, because "Oxford". Talk about privilege.

James Sturman QC, defending, urged the judge to give Woodward a conditional discharge due to her “unique vulnerability, remorse and good character”.

He said: “She can’t even go to a nightclub in London, she’s so recognisable.”

This was literally their defense. This upper class little white girl can't go to the pub now because she's too famous for the stabby-stab, so plz let her off, your grace. Oh the humanity! FFS.

[IcyTea31]

I hear they're going to replace it with warning text messages. So the first monday of every month at 12pm they'll SMS everyone in the Netherlands with a test message.

This doesn't seem like a good idea, considering how quickly cellular networks tend to get overloaded in larger-scale disasters...

[Reelya]

Yeah that was a joke about the monthly sms tests, but they are in fact bringing in the sms system for emergency broadcasts. Not sure how it would effect the network in a real crisis. Perhaps having good and timely information will prevent people needing to call in / message to get it.

http://www.news.com.au/lifestyle/real-life/wtf/spokesman-for-woman-caught-pooing-on-peoples-lawns-tries-to-offer-an-explanation/news-story/28d45d3ab0338af390019a135fd3c4cd

A MAN claiming to be the “spokesman” of a jogger dubbed the “Mad Pooper” — who was caught on camera publicly defecating on the lawns of Colorado homes ... added that the jogger was well within her rights to go wherever she wants to and her toilet habits are protected under the First Amendment and will not be controlled by the government.
...

"Shirley" made headlines last week when a mother publicly begged the woman to stop using her lawn as a toilet.

Cathy Budde, from Colorado Springs in the US, said she first became aware of the woman’s crappy habit when her children came running inside.

“They came screaming, you know, ‘you’re not going to believe this!’ They’re like crying, I’m like ‘what?’ They’re like ‘there’s a lady taking a poo!’ And so I came outside and I was like ‘dear goodness!’” she told local news outlet KKTV.

“I was like ‘are you serious? Are you really taking a poop right here in front of my kids?’ And she’s like ‘yeah, sorry’.

“I thought for sure, she’s mortified, it was an accident. She’ll probably go get a dog bag, come back, clean it up, you know, and never run here again.”

Ms Budde said she’s spotted the jogger popping a squat multiple times in the weeks since, and she even managed to snap a few pictures.

Worse still, the woman comes prepared with toilet paper in her pocket, which she also unceremoniously deposits on the grass.

[Avarice]

I wear a sack on my head on tinder and get matches.

[TD1]

They'd probably think you're being ironic.

[martinuzz]

A Polish truck driver that caused an accident by driving on the wrong side of the German highway now turns out to have had 3.09 promille blood alcohol levels. Just to be clear, that amount will kill a non-experienced drinker.

A Dutch couple and their 20 year old daughter that were just returning from holidays in Italy were killed in the crash, leaving behind an orphaned son back at home.

The truck driver will be charged with vehicular manslaughter. He is in a coma, but no longer in critical condition.
I wonder, is it possible to convict someone that is in a coma (and thus incapable of standing trial) to prison time?

[Reelya]

First thing he thinks when he wakes up is "man, what a hangover".  Badum-tish. ... Excuse me now, i'll see myself out.

But seriously yeah, you can be tried "in absentia". You don't have to actually be there. Think of it this way, if they weren't able to convict anyone who didn't show up, why would any defendant turn up? There have to be workarounds for that in place.

[martinuzz]

Well yea, I know of 'in absentia', but 'incapable of standing trial' might be the superior legal argument here.
In absentia usually applies to suspects that have been summoned to court but fail to appear, either because they have evaded arrest and are untracable, or, in cases where the suspect didn't need to be in jail pending trial, simply fail to show at the court date.

I kinda suspect there's going to be no formal charge or trial until, or if the guy regains consciousness. At least no criminal case, not sure how civil law handles claims.

[Reelya]

They'd probably think you're being ironic.

No, they think he's ... good in the sack.