I'm so confused.
Me too.
Sorry I was too tired to post again and didn't know how to do it metaphorically.
Lets go back to couples but lets increase the number of couples... I'll do it in steps
-There are 100 couples. Each Couple consists of one Apple and one Banana (I was originally going to say, A and B)
-Of these 100 couples, they find out that one of these couples has an abusive relationship. One Banana is an abusive Fruit.
-They try to find a possible reason for this abuse and conclude that it is because it is a Banana.
-They look for more abuse
-Two other couples are found out to have abusive Bananas. Indeed not only are Bananas to blame, but Apples are their victim.
-They conclude that it is a Banana's Banananess that makes them abuse Apples.
-They look for more abuse but they cannot find any.
-They conclude that Bananas must be abusing Apples in more subtle and hidden ways. Apples are considered passive victims.
-It is discovered that one couple is also abusive, the Apple is the abusive partner. Yet apples are victims, it must be the Banana's fault it happened.
-Apples have different opinions on cause of abuse.
-They conclude that Apples who do not believe that Bananas are abusive are victims of abuse who cannot think for themselves.
-Bananas speak out against their character being besmirched.
-They conclude that Bananas are only trying to maneuver themselves in order to be more abusive.
I hope this gives a sort of... really GENERAL idea... the Victim/Victimizer Dictonomy is more for groups than individuals. As it deals less with tangible things you can point to in people.