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[MaximumZero]

Salt. Salt everywhere. Also possibly fire.

[EnigmaticHat]

Salt. Salt everywhere. Also possibly fire.

For a second I thought you were describing a WTF from your own life.  All I could think was "that sounds bad, why are taking the time to type about this?"

[hector13]

Sounds like he was trying to deal with witchcraft to be fair.

[Eric Blank]

Salt the leeches. Grab an old fork and just stab them all, introduce them to a lighter. They will not hesitate to drain the life out of you. They are your enemy, and they are incapable of remorse, pity, or mercy.
Theyre kinda pathetic, but you could still get sick.

[Reelya]

And they go great in a garlic butter sauce

[wierd]

That's snails, not leeches.

[Reelya]

Can you say for sure? Maybe they both go great in the sauce.

[Neonivek]

Salt the leeches. Grab an old fork and just stab them all, introduce them to a lighter. They will not hesitate to drain the life out of you. They are your enemy, and they are incapable of remorse, pity, or mercy.
Theyre kinda pathetic, but you could still get sick.

From what I hear you don't QUITE want to salt them. It will definitely get them off you, but they don't just... fall off.

[Khan Boyzitbig]

I would imagine metal/chain gauntlets would keep them from leeching your hands. Not that I would be willing to pick one up even if it was dead.
And I'm a guy who is quite happy to pick up potentially dangerous spiders, while they are alive and bitey.

[scriver]

But more relevant to the thread: Leeches everywhere D:
Moreso 'in places where I'd wonder how they even got there', like in the bathrooms, in the buckets, and in places far away from our backyard of a forest that it is strange to wonder how they squiggled into these places.

I am very cautious now, despite there being a literal wall between any of our entrances, and our "backyard", there are still leeches, even in the basement, and in other places so deprived of leech-pathing.
And then it will be ant month soon, when all those ants come marching in, active and everywhere.

...Maybe you have discovered a new species of flying leeches. I say build a higher wall and make leechicans pay!

Actually, maybe they're the ghosts of all the leeches killed in previous years come back to haunt you.

[Teneb]

Salt the leeches. Grab an old fork and just stab them all, introduce them to a lighter. They will not hesitate to drain the life out of you. They are your enemy, and they are incapable of remorse, pity, or mercy.
Theyre kinda pathetic, but you could still get sick.

From what I hear you don't QUITE want to salt them. It will definitely get them off you, but they don't just... fall off.

Yeah, don't do that. Anything that can stress a leech may cause them to vomit, which can maybe cause an infection. The safe way to remove them is by gently holding them so they're perpendicular to your skin and sliding something like a bit of metal, plastic, or even your own nail, between you and the leech.

[wierd]

Sounds like credit card is a good tool then.

[scriver]

Salt the leeches. Grab an old fork and just stab them all, introduce them to a lighter. They will not hesitate to drain the life out of you. They are your enemy, and they are incapable of remorse, pity, or mercy.
Theyre kinda pathetic, but you could still get sick.

From what I hear you don't QUITE want to salt them. It will definitely get them off you, but they don't just... fall off.

Yeah, don't do that. Anything that can stress a leech may cause them to vomit, which can maybe cause an infection. The safe way to remove them is by gently holding them so they're perpendicular to your skin and sliding something like a bit of metal, plastic, or even your own nail, between you and the leech.

And then gleefully drop them into a tub of salt and set them on fire.

[Avis-Mergulus]

Sounds like credit card is a good tool then.

Yeah, but what if it attaches itself to your bank account? That might be even worse than just being bitten by a leech.

[SOLDIER First]

And they go great in a garlic butter sauce

You just described literally every edible animal on the face of the earth.