Hedonism is a shit philosophy and it produces Romans
I came, I saw, I conquered. Not necessarily in that order.
Anyway, people often fall into the trap of sexual banalization that is hidden in modern western society. I too ventured the lands of egotistical sexual pursuit, but that is a path that is as full of disappointment as it is full of thrills.
Its interesting though, at first you're young and stupid, and you're just searching for the act, as if its some sort of magical ritual which will elevate you into something else. Then you become less stupid, and you start to get to some actual pleasure, which is the pursuit itself. I derived quite a bit of pleasure out of seduction, but when the act itself came, well, it was ok, but it felt disappointing. It was the end of a game I enjoyed, because I had already conquered what I wanted, since what I really wanted was to see if I could make that one person I once found interesting do things I could not initially imagine them doing. That is also a very unhealthy thing in the long run, and causes you to hurt a lot of people who were more invested in it than you were.
And then I found my girlfriend and I found true realization, because at this time, I was not worried about my own pleasure anymore. Its really interesting how the focus shifted. I was now far more worried about how much of a good time I was providing to my partner, and the feeling became mutual. We truly got to know and enjoy eachother.
When you start to derive pleasure just out of the fact you're giving pleasure to someone you truly love, thats when you find out that all those fancyful stories of great sex weren't a mystical ramblings created for playboy articles after all. You get pleasure from giving pleasure, and that creates a feeling of fulfillment that I wouldn't trade for anything else. Everything that comes before, during it, and after become part of the whole experience, and a true part of your life.