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[Kot]

Give a quick summary of Prometheus to someone who hasn't seen it, please.

One-dimensional thinking. FUCKING HELL JUST RUN TO THE SIDE GODDAMNIT!

[Tack]

"It's ridiculous that all the Democrats are throwing tantrums over how Trump won the election.
"If Hillary had won instead then the Republicans would likely be doing the same thing.
"HILLARY IS THE DEVIL"

Welp, there's a point proven.

[Shadowlord]

Give a quick summary of Prometheus to someone who hasn't seen it, please.

One-dimensional thinking. FUCKING HELL JUST RUN TO THE SIDE GODDAMNIT!

Oh, damn, now I know that a bunch of people die horribly in an Alien movie.
(Did the people in that small ship really just ram the bigger one and go BRACE FOR IMPACT while sitting at the very front of it?)

What is WITH those spacesuit helmets?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Give a quick summary of Prometheus to someone who hasn't seen it, please.

During the time of Weyland-Yutani's growth to power, various prehistoric dig sites all across Earth are found to have what turn out to be star maps, suggesting a visitation by some alien precursors. WY funds a trillion (yes, trillion) dollar expedition to the star cluster where the map points. It is attended by an early android, the daughter of WY's founder, a Ellen Ripley clone for that redhead appeal, her husband, the ship pilots, and two very inconsequential fuckers.

They arrive at the planet the star chart points out and quickly discover signs of artificial construction. They find glyphs reminiscent of Proto-Indo European, weird canisters, and a hologram that shows something horrible happening to the original inhabitants. Investigation causes the canisters to open and release a weird black goo, which then coalesces into weird life-like things. The things kill the inconsequential fuckers.

Stuff happens, and it turns out Not-Ripley's husband was exposed to the black goo (By the android), so he commits suicide by cop against the WY founder's daughter. Except oh no, he and Not-Ripley banged, so she's impregnated with some...thing. WY goes all "preserve the specimen!" and put her on lockdown.

Also, the actual founder of WY, who's old as fuck, was on the ship and gets revived. He's here to try and find the prognators of humanity so they can save him from death, but his daughter would rather he die so WY goes to her. The android finishes deciphering everything and wakes up the one surviving prognator, a 7.5 foot tall hairless albino called the Engineer. He looks upon the people who woke him up and promptly goes crazy, decapitating the android and killing the WY founder as he demands immortality.

Meanwhile, Not-Ripley escapes and uses an automatic surgeon to abort the proto-facehugger growing within her, in what is probably the film's best scene. But then, the Engineer tries to escape the planet and go to Earth to presumably spray it with black goo and exterminate humanity, because they hate us for some reason. This is stopped by the crew of the human ship by fatally ramming the Engineer's ship, which falls on the WY founder's daughter.

But the Engineer survives and tries to kill Not-Ripley again! Fortunately, the proto-facehugger survived the abortion and shows up just in time to hug his face. Not-Ripley retrieves the head of the android as the only other person to talk to, and steals another alien ship to seek out their homeworld, because she's "still searching".

And then! Post-credits, a proto-xenomorph bursts out of the Engineer's corpse. The end.


Also, everybody in the movie is annoyingly religious for folks searching out a race of aliens who they think created humanity. It's not the worst film ever and has some good moments, but on the whole is below par for Ridley Scott.

[smjjames]

I decided to look up news on Alien: Covenant today and found out that the writers think that androids should be able to host xenomorphs now and have DNA.  Hopefully it really is nothing but a rumor.

I wouldn't put it past anyone after Prometheus though.  What is this I don't even.

I kind of wish we still had the rage thread.  If that makes it into the movie I'll consider sending an official letter of resignation as a fan of Alien to Ridley Scott.

Do the androids have biological components? If so, that would sortof make sense, barely.

I feel like that's unlikely, since the androids in the Alien movies have always been pretty well portrayed, and that includes the one in Prometheus.

However, I'd only object to the DNA part. Chestbursters seem to grow into Drones by eating metal and rock just as easily as everything else, so there's no particular reason one couldn't be host. That'd be kind of funny actually, an android character is uncovered when they get chestbursted and don't die.

It's also pretty rare for a movie to have advertising far superior to the writing, and so I've put some decent trust in Covenant over the film poster.

There was an android character in Prometheus? I saw it and didn't know that. Maybe I wasn't really paying attention to it or it was simply that bad.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Considering that part of the movie's intro is him messing around in the spaceship while the rest are in stasis, he openly talks about how he's an android, and he survives getting decapitated, yeah, I'd say you weren't paying attention.

[smjjames]

I do remember them finding the decapitated head of a precursor (after finding a holo of a bunch of them running away), which was somehow preserved exactly and still functional and gave data, but not the androids head getting decapitated. Well, not 'alive' functional, it was definetly dead, but it was like 'freshly dead' rather than 'dead an unknown timespan'.

edit: Also,

Spoiler: Prometheus movie spoilers (click to show/hide)

 at the end I think (or somewhere) was a scene 4 billion years ago of a precursor species sacrificing himself in the primordial Earth seas and somehow all life on Earth arises from the DNA (emphasis on somehow) of that guy.

A species staying exactly the same over four billion years seems a bit silly to me, and the whole genesis from that guy thing is ridiculous on it's own, but hey, Hollywood.

[Spehss _]

Give a quick summary of Prometheus to someone who hasn't seen it, please.

Mega-corporation hires a bunch of dudes to investigate an alien planet, someone touches mysterious black goo, alien shit starts, everything goes to body-horror hell.

[Lord Shonus]

In my defense, NES consoles are ludicrous and games that anybody would actually want to play are even more ridiculous in price.

An NES costs about fifty bucks, and plenty of the games are in the $10-$15 range, which isn't too bad (although much worse than a few years ago when Jackal and Kung Fu cost a quarter each and you could get all three Mario games for five bucks each). Of course, if you went that route you'd have to buy a CRT tv, as HDTVs are absolutely horrible for retro consoles due to screen lag and wrong pixels.

[hector13]

I preferred MSH's synopsis. Appreciate it, dude!

Would have to say that I wouldn't like androids to be able to be "impregnated" by the facehuggers, at least sans biological components. The horror element is kinda lost when it becomes a bit too silly.

[BlackFlyme]

Aren't those androids supposed to be almost impossible to tell apart from humans without actually cutting one open, though?

I guess it would depend on what the infant aliens need to gestate.

[Eric Blank]

The aliens may try, but fail, eh

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Not quite. The android in Prometheus is an early model, and as such is so flat and overly-perfect that he can easily be identified as being what he is. This is also the case for the WY android in Alien: Isolation, and the Working Joe androids in that game are marketed as specifically nonhuman looking as to avoid confusion.

By the time of Alien there are androids that can look and act just like humans if they want to hide, but in Aliens it's implied that they generally don't. The android attached to the marine contingent even shows off his enhanced speed and strength.

Xenomorphs seem to understand what androids are, as in both Alien and Aliens androids are attacked and dismembered instead of attempting capture for impregnation like with humans. This is also supported by Alien: Isolation, where the WY android gets around with no difficulty and the Working Joes are completely ignored by the xenomorph.

[smjjames]

Oh Prometheus is supposed to be a prelude to the Aliens series? I've never watched the Aliens movies, except for that Predator one, though the xenomorph wasn't in that one (Arnold Schwarzenegger was though).

I've seen bits of the movies though, but never watched the whole thing.

[Telgin]

I decided to look up news on Alien: Covenant today and found out that the writers think that androids should be able to host xenomorphs now and have DNA.  Hopefully it really is nothing but a rumor.

I wouldn't put it past anyone after Prometheus though.  What is this I don't even.

I kind of wish we still had the rage thread.  If that makes it into the movie I'll consider sending an official letter of resignation as a fan of Alien to Ridley Scott.

Do the androids have biological components? If so, that would sortof make sense, barely.

They've never been portrayed as having any, and kind of the opposite.  They're routinely hacked apart and have electrodes inserted into them to restart them (see Alien and Alien 3), so there doesn't seem to be any indication of organic components.

If you trust the Aliens: Colonial Marines Technical Manual as canon then they're explicitly just mechanical robots.  It's written by a fan but was given sanction and published by 20th Century Fox, so it's about as official as anything other than the movies.  If memory serves it says they have carbon fiber skeletons and silicone colloid muscles powered by electrical stimulation or pumped microhydraulics, which are arranged to give them analogous anatomy to humans.  They have hydrogen fuel cells for power, computers for brains and so on.  The white goop is a liquid latex lubricant and doesn't serve any vital function like blood.

The writers could easily ignore all of that and say that androids are some kind of weird artificially grown tissue that looks human, but it still wouldn't explain having to be jumped off like a dead car in Alien or Alien 3.