"This is Kot. He spends up to 22 hours every day searching for memes on the internet. Recently, he's become enamored with the indie music group Sabaton, specifically their hit single 'Winged Hussars'. This combination of nationalist rage with internet humor has lead to what has developed into an inescapable pit of desire. Kot has stopped eating or sleeping in order to acquire more Hussar memes, and was recently arrested for threatening to kill his landlord in a cavalry charge.
We will follow a day in the life of Kot, as he attempts to gain a foothold on today's episode of My Beautiful Addiction: Winged Hussars."
>Recently
Uh... I've been shilling Winged Hussars and I have been raging humerous internet nationalist since the day I've been born, I've enjoyed some (most of them are bad, though) Sabaton songs ever since they made the song about Warsaw Uprising... and the "Winged Hussars" aren't a single. The fact that I don't eat or sleep enough doesn't come from Hussar memes but rather life sads.
I do confirm that I tried to kill my landlord in a cavalry charge, though.
*My Beautiful Addiction is an entertainment program and a dramatization of documented events. Factual accuracy is not guaranteed. No people, animals, or cavalry were harmed in the making of this program. This is a work of fiction and any similarity to existing persons, places, events, and units is coincidental, living or dead. MSH Broadcasting is not responsible for fits of rage, involuntary historical reenactment, or obsession with winged helmets caused by this program."Here we see Kot as he begins an average day. He awakens atop a bed in the shape of an armored horse, which he bought by taking out a second mortgage on his soul. Even in his first moments of consciousness, Sabaton blares from the alarm clock. He showers to this cacophony of sound, making sure to step on his Turkish flag pattern towel after he is finished with it. All of Kot's disposable and disrespected possessions show the flags of "enemies of the people", only the first in a vein of hawkish desires.
He proceeds to the kitchen, where he faces the first of the major obstacles created by the Hussar obsession. Kot insists upon eating cereal with a full-sized cavalry lance with spoon attachment, a crippling task. All twelve feet of the lance barely fit within the kitchen, and multiple holes have been poked in the ceiling by Kot's attempts to feed himself and assault attempts on the Bulgarian couple who used to live above him. Upon being asked to not play Sabaton on infinite repeat, Kot forced them out of their home by repeatedly lying in wait and stabbing their feet through the ceiling.
Finally, Kot finishes his morning routine in the same way he always does, by burning a scale replica of Saint Basil's Cathedral on the windowsill."