He's fucking lucky. And its the neighbors, too. Would that be an excuse for a lawsuit, or arson charges? They DID burn his house down as a result of not being able to manage their fire, whatever the fuck they were actually trying to accomplish
So, in work-related news this past week, we had: A bicyclist couple all bedecked in their spandex pants and silly helmets who decided to park their bikes in the handicapped spot closest to the door, because clearly we never have customers come in here in wheelchairs or anything. There was another smattering of vomit all over the mens' bathroom one day, and unidentified brown liquid today. In general its a cesspit, but sometimes it all happens at once.
Someone brought their pet iguana into the store, hanging onto their shirt under their collar. I legitimately thought it was printed on the shirt until they came closer. Someone else brought a very noisy little dog into the store on a leash. One old lady actually had a tiny chihuahua hanging out of the front of her shirt. A little boy brought his puppy inside. We had children wrestling in the isle by the coolers, playing with our laser lights, and being obnoxious in general, their grandma who was escorting them seemingly oblivious.
A couple months ago we actually had an old man come in with a death certificate for his wife, who had died of smoking-related complications recently, said she refused to quit. I gave him a refund for the remainder of her cigarettes. We also had another woman come in and ask for a refund of all her remaining cigarettes because she just flat out quit in a single day.
I have had multiple customers come up and as soon as they open their mouths its like opening a manhole directly to a sewer full of rotting corpses. (or as I would imagine it, at least.) Customers have regularly been just flat-out rude and visibly upset more than usual recently, too, and I'm not sure why. I've noticed a lot of folks snatching things away as soon as I put them on the counter, before their transaction has actually gone through. We had customers come up to my till today to complain that our coffee was cold. My coworker, who just checked it, confirmed that it was still piping hot, as expected. I clean those things on night shift, around 8pm, the coffee will still be scaldingly hot when it was last checked at 1pm or noon. They were clearly all insane.
My coworkers have also been getting in the habit of wandering off and leaving me on till alone with no phone number to contact them, only to be swamped by like thirty people at once. Oh, there was also a box of donuts brought in by the manager. It contained one that resembled a bunny's backside, complete with little feet and tail, made of frosting. It was delicious.